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Sheffield Wednesday 1 : 1 Hull (sort of OMDT)


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The gulf in quality between the players that they went up with (most of who they sold for handsome amounts pretty sharpish IIRC) compared to the lot they have got now is startling. That Allam bloke must have trousered some reyt dosh out of their premier league jaunt.

Edited by Owl At Risk
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I don't normally post in here for silly "bad luck" reasons but some fuckinggood that's done recently so bollocksto it!

 

I've had a lovely evening in with the kids, daughter mainly, lad's out partying, and now laid on my bed and trying to think of the last game I wanted us to win, one we really needed to win, as much as this one in recent times.

 

Snooty has touched on it in his excellent OP re. recent history and that day at Wembley and what's happened since.  None of neither matters nor counts in the second game of a brand new season.  The only thing that is the same is the two clubs playing each other and everything before has now gone.

 

I can't be there tomorrow like thousands like me for thousands of reasons but I will hope and pray with all I have for the win, don't care who, why or how, just the win.  Not to score points over my fellow owls, not even in the hope of taking thepiss out of my son or my grunter mates but just because we really could fuckingdo with it and experience the buzz and all try to hang on to it going forward and get that little satisfied smile back that pops up out of nowhere for the hours and days after.

 

Come on Wednesday for fuckssake!

 

Now I'm going to quote the OP, finish my son's choccy biscuits then fondle my reduced membership as I drift off to sleep dreaming of a victory for the boys in blue and white stripes tomorrow....

 

1 hour ago, Lord Snooty said:

39001893_297438091013736_3371472056603377664_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=7e327906075aee34380d369b6a979f8e&oe=5C0AF192

 

   “Evening, Sir”

   “Ahh, Stubbs. What delights tonight?”

   “Scrambled egg and tuna Sir”

   “Scrambled egg and tuna! Good God man, have you lost leave of your senses.”

   “It’s part of your diet Sir”

   “Diet, what diet? What are you on about man?”

   “Sir you requested...”

   “Requested?! Requested? Requested this? I don’t think so.  I wouldn’t make Jay Bothroyd eat this!”

   “Now, now Sir”

   “Well. It’s an outrage!”

   “I’m only following your orders Sir”

   “What orders?!”

   “That you gave me last week Sir after the Wigan game”

   “I don’t remember saying I wanted to eat like a tramp!”

   “I’m surprised you remember much at all Sir..”

   “And what is that supposed to mean?!”

   “Nothing Sir, just that you…passed out and then..”

   “I was probably faint from not eating enough!”

   “Or it might have been the brandy”

   “You insolent dog Stubb, I barely had a drop”

   “A drop in the ocean perhaps”

   “I can’t eat this. You’ve taken it too far this time”

   “It’s all here Sir”

   “All where?”

   “In this contract Sir.”

   “Contract?”

   “Ahem… ‘I George Hieronymus Snooty declare myself under carbohydrate, sugar and  saturated fat embargo.   I need to lose a few pounds and put my man, Anthony Gordon Stubbs in sole charge of all my dietary requirements until such time as I have shed two stone minimum and…”

   “Two bloody stone!”

   “It’s what you wrote and signed sir, before you collapsed under the billiard table.”

   “I didn’t collapse.”

   “No Sir?”

   “No. IT’s…it’s….I probably have undiagnosed narcolepsy or something”

   “Well. The point being sir that you have signed this document.”

   “It means nothing. Where’s cook?”

   “You gave her the month off”

   “A month!”

   “Yes Sir.”

   “Right. Well, I’ll make myself something to eat then. Don’t think I can’t, oh no. I know my way around a tin opener Stubbs.”

   “I’m not doubting your ability to ping a microwave sir. But when I say you can’t…well you can’t sir, because you have also had the locks changed on the kitchen door and only I have a key”

   “Well give me the key”

   “I can’t sir. This paragraph at the bottom. “Should Stubbs, under any circumstances give me the keys to the kitchen, should I beg to be allowed in, then his contract of employment will be terminated with immediate effect

   “Look that was clearly a joke Stubbs. A joke. I wouldn’t sack you”

   “Sir.. the witnesses “

   “Witnesses?”

   “Well, your solicitor for one sir, and  Lady Snooty for two”

   “I might have known. What a cheek and her the size she is … Yes. Now you say it though I do vaguely remember the darkness enveloping, as the shadow of some maleficent zeppelin blocked out the light….Good God. She didn’t…she didn’t touch me did she Stubbs?!”

   “No Sir. She was too busy laughing as she signed the document.”

Image result for shadow of fat woman

 

   “And where is she anyway? Where’s has she boomed off to now”

   “North Yorkshire.  Anti fracking demonstration.”

   “Ah well. There we go you see. She’s out of the way. I won’t tell if you don’t. How’s about it. Egg chips and beans eh?  Friday treat.”

   “I’m afraid I can’t. Sir.”

   “Then you leave me no choice, I shall make my way into the village and buy myself some supper at the Navvies arms”

   “You said you’d never go in the Navvies arms again last week when you accused them of having anti-Wednesday bias”

   “Then I shall go to the Cornish club”

   “I wouldn’t advise it Sir”

   “Oh really. And why would that be?”

   “Because you asked me to telegram a wager to the club Sir and tell them that if you entered the premises before your weight had dropped to 14 stone that you would make a one million pound donation to Sheffield United football Club. Which of course the manager accepted gleefully.”

   “The dirty, low down piggys bast-“   

   “Sir. Your eggs are going cold.

   “What’s this on the side. It looks like mould?”

   “That is kale sir”

   “I..ugh. Can I have ketchup?”

   “No sir”

   “Right.“

   "Now come on , don’t make that face. It won’t be long. And just think. You’ve got the game to look forward to tomorrow.”

   “Yes. Yes I suppose I have.”

   “Eat it all up sir. You’ll need the sustenance. First game of the season. You’ll have a great time. Watching all those sweaty men kicking a pigs bladder around”

   “Are you mocking The Wednesday Stubbs?”

   “No sir. Who are you playing tomorrow?”

   “Hull City”

   “Hull? I didn’t know they played football Sir. I thought Hull was a Rugby town?”

   “I hope you’re not going to say that every week Stubbs”

   “Well. Hopefully not Sir, if you ever play teams that aren't from Rugby towns. Are there any proper teams in this division?”

   “Get out!”

   “Sir-“

   “Out! OUT ,OUT, OUT!”

   “Before I go through sir ,  I have prepared a bowl of mixed seeds and badger yoghurt for pudding when you’ve-“

   “OUT!”

   “Very Good Sir”

 

38891261_297440727680139_3140340049426513920_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=73c99833d27ef2dc4f2c230932a9eedb&oe=5BFC7A1E

 

Wednesday - V - Hull City

***

Bloody cheek of the man. I pay him a wage. He revels in this sort thing. I can tell. Gets that look on his face.  Pigs bladder indeed. Mind. He’s right. Hull. Hardly the glamour fixture is it.

Even if they have been in the top flight more than us in recent years.

Mind, their side has changed since they went up last. Unrecognisable almost. 

No automatic alt text available.

 

Ok it's nearly three years ago. But the thing is what favours did it do them winning the ‘biggest prize in football’?   I don’t know

I mean we've still got a lot of those players we had that day. They haven't and yet it is they that have been to the promised land

And come back with an almighty thud

And managed by a man dumped by the blunts. I mean,crikey O'reilly.

We might have a pop at old DC for signing old players on long deals. But at least we haven't had to start signing stars of the '90s.

I mean I have always been a big fan of your midfield nut cracker. But David Batty?!. They're a team in real trouble. 

 

 

No automatic alt text available.

.

Hull are the modern yo-yo side aren’t they. But for me they’re always stuck stuck in the time-warp of my mind.

 

Their recent history means nothing to me. £15m players. Bullard. That Brazillian chap. No no.

 

It’s still Boothferry park in my head when I think of them.

 

Andy Payton.  That’s the face I always imagine when I think of Hull.

Image may contain: 1 person, close-up

 

Looked like a Glaswegian carpet fitter. The lairy type, crisp white shirt and a pair of ice blue jeans, gold chain hanging loosely at the wrist, sovereign on the little finger, pumping money into a fruit machine all night . then pumping someones auntie behind the Trades and Labour Club after 10 pints of double diamond. I know the type. I can tell by the dial.

You can always tell a man by his face. A scrappers chin too I recall.

 

 

They’ll always be a third division club to me.

Mind. I said last week Wigan would always be a fourth division club in my mind and they still licked us. So what do I know.

Still…got to enjoy it for what it is I suppose. 

Didn’t bother me that it was ‘only Hull’ when they came for the opening home fixture in ‘90. Oh no. What a day that was. When you knew you were witnessing the start of something special. Four goals for the Boy wonder.  Actually I thought it should have been all five as I’m sure Williams’ shot caught the Cudworth Flyers pecker on the way past.  Still... Don’t suppose it matters. Four goals is haul enough.  And of course Old Derek. The double D.  He got four goals against these as well. The Pitsmoor Punisher. Yes.  More of the same tomorrow perhaps?  Maybe old Joao will put his name in the history books. Four goals.  Just what the lad needs to totally put the nightmare of tooth gate to bed once and for all.

Just what we all need really after last week. And FFP and FFS.

Yes. It’ll be a good game tomorrow. We’ve retained our star players. For the time being at least. 

Packed Hillsborough.  Sheffield tunes ringing from the tannoy thanks to the positive vibes from Sheffield Premier Drunken Food critic. The lads back in stripes too.  Well, half stripes.  Yes. It’s all the makings of a good day.  First game of the season is always a funny one isn’t it. I mean that Wigan game. It was Fat mickey Quinn getting a hat-trick against the tightness of the Arsenal wasn’t it. A first day  freak result.

Happens a lot that. The first day freak result. It was Wigans day. Yes, I won’t be crying into my brandy tomorrow tonight. I’ll be raising a toast to the mighty Wednesday as they start the engine and get the season going properly. Ahh. Brandy! I might have one now.

God damn the man. He’s padlocked the bloody drinks cabinet.

Oh well.

 

Come on The Wednesday!

 

Please win you set o'twats!

 

 

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6 hours ago, Lord Snooty said:

39001893_297438091013736_3371472056603377664_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=7e327906075aee34380d369b6a979f8e&oe=5C0AF192

 

   “Evening, Sir”

   “Ahh, Stubbs. What delights tonight?”

   “Scrambled egg and tuna Sir”

   “Scrambled egg and tuna! Good God man, have you lost leave of your senses.”

   “It’s part of your diet Sir”

   “Diet, what diet? What are you on about man?”

   “Sir you requested...”

   “Requested?! Requested? Requested this? I don’t think so.  I wouldn’t make Jay Bothroyd eat this!”

   “Now, now Sir”

   “Well. It’s an outrage!”

   “I’m only following your orders Sir”

   “What orders?!”

   “That you gave me last week Sir after the Wigan game”

   “I don’t remember saying I wanted to eat like a tramp!”

   “I’m surprised you remember much at all Sir..”

   “And what is that supposed to mean?!”

   “Nothing Sir, just that you…passed out and then..”

   “I was probably faint from not eating enough!”

   “Or it might have been the brandy”

   “You insolent dog Stubb, I barely had a drop”

   “A drop in the ocean perhaps”

   “I can’t eat this. You’ve taken it too far this time”

   “It’s all here Sir”

   “All where?”

   “In this contract Sir.”

   “Contract?”

   “Ahem… ‘I George Hieronymus Snooty declare myself under carbohydrate, sugar and  saturated fat embargo.   I need to lose a few pounds and put my man, Anthony Gordon Stubbs in sole charge of all my dietary requirements until such time as I have shed two stone minimum and…”

   “Two bloody stone!”

   “It’s what you wrote and signed sir, before you collapsed under the billiard table.”

   “I didn’t collapse.”

   “No Sir?”

   “No. IT’s…it’s….I probably have undiagnosed narcolepsy or something”

   “Well. The point being sir that you have signed this document.”

   “It means nothing. Where’s cook?”

   “You gave her the month off”

   “A month!”

   “Yes Sir.”

   “Right. Well, I’ll make myself something to eat then. Don’t think I can’t, oh no. I know my way around a tin opener Stubbs.”

   “I’m not doubting your ability to ping a microwave sir. But when I say you can’t…well you can’t sir, because you have also had the locks changed on the kitchen door and only I have a key”

   “Well give me the key”

   “I can’t sir. This paragraph at the bottom. “Should Stubbs, under any circumstances give me the keys to the kitchen, should I beg to be allowed in, then his contract of employment will be terminated with immediate effect

   “Look that was clearly a joke Stubbs. A joke. I wouldn’t sack you”

   “Sir.. the witnesses “

   “Witnesses?”

   “Well, your solicitor for one sir, and  Lady Snooty for two”

   “I might have known. What a cheek and her the size she is … Yes. Now you say it though I do vaguely remember the darkness enveloping, as the shadow of some maleficent zeppelin blocked out the light….Good God. She didn’t…she didn’t touch me did she Stubbs?!”

   “No Sir. She was too busy laughing as she signed the document.

   “And where is she anyway? Where’s has she boomed off to now”

   “North Yorkshire.  Anti fracking demonstration.”

   “Ah well. There we go you see. She’s out of the way. I won’t tell if you don’t. How’s about it. Egg chips and beans eh?  Friday treat.”

   “I’m afraid I can’t. Sir.”

   “Then you leave me no choice, I shall make my way into the village and buy myself some supper at the Navvies arms”

   “You said you’d never go in the Navvies arms again last week when you accused them of having anti-Wednesday bias”

   “Then I shall go to the Cornish club”

   “I wouldn’t advise it Sir”

   “Oh really. And why would that be?”

   “Because you asked me to telegram a wager to the club Sir and tell them that if you entered the premises before your weight had dropped to 14 stone that you would make a one million pound donation to Sheffield United football Club. Which of course the manager accepted gleefully.”

   “The dirty, low down piggys bast-“   

   “Sir. Your eggs are going cold.

   “What’s this on the side. It looks like mould?”

   “That is kale sir”

   “I..ugh. Can I have ketchup?”

   “No sir”

   “Right.“

   "Now come on , don’t make that face. It won’t be long. And just think. You’ve got the game to look forward to tomorrow.”

   “Yes. Yes I suppose I have.”

   “Eat it all up sir. You’ll need the sustenance. First game of the season. You’ll have a great time. Watching all those sweaty men kicking a pigs bladder around”

   “Are you mocking The Wednesday Stubbs?”

   “No sir. Who are you playing tomorrow?”

   “Hull City”

   “Hull? I didn’t know they played football Sir. I thought Hull was a Rugby town?”

   “I hope you’re not going to say that every week Stubbs”

   “Well. Hopefully not Sir, if you ever play teams that aren't from Rugby towns. Are there any proper teams in this division?”

   “Get out!”

   “Sir-“

   “Out! OUT ,OUT, OUT!”

   “Before I go through sir ,  I have prepared a bowl of mixed seeds and badger yoghurt for pudding when you’ve-“

   “OUT!”

   “Very Good Sir”

No, no,...I'm not having that ....there's a place at place at Eastbourne! 

Quote

 

Edited by owls-swfc
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If I were you Snoots, what with the missus away and all the other shenanigans over the larder I'd take the opportunity to show that rather fetching young stable lass the art of tumbling in the hayloft (thinking Jenny Agutter in Equus here) and if anyone cries foul you can always explain it's part of the fitness regime attached to your new diet and lifestyle!

 

Excellent un-OMDT btw!

 

TTFN UTO WAWAW!

 

GHOFM!

Edited by Utah Owl
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