"So despite rumours we still don't know whether or not we've 'got away with it' with the EFL and our spending. This trial, which seems such an overly dramatic word by the way, should have been done and dusted by now according to the pre-trial preview. It's a worry I've heard nothing."
"Well these things are often convoluted,Sir"
"But they said it would be over"
"Well, perhaps it is"
"If that is the case why is there nothing forthcoming from either the club or the EFL? One party is surely licking their wounds by now? If Wednesday had emerged victorious I'd have expected one of the Chairmans midnight missives by now, and on the other grim footage of Parry looking like an aunt who has champed down on a bad oyster. But there's nothing."
"Perhaps both parties are working on press pieces as we speak,Sir"
"Perhaps. But I find it a worry. Matters of the Wednesday are different. The old 'no news is good news' is a lost motto when it comes to the beloved Owls. Crikey, who knows what's gone off in there? Our scavengers trawl the Internet, going through the online bins looking for clues. Apparently this De Marco chap, for the defence ,has tweeted something about "A walk in the park". This has caused thousands of texts and whatsapp pings around the City that the case is won as conclusions are happily jumped to by a desperado support , the seeming hidden message that he's breezed us out of there no bother, and probably got the EFL to pick up the bar tab to boot."
"Well that's good news then,Sir"
"Yes, but the thing is of course.... he had literally just gone for a walk in the park."
"Literally gone for a walk. As many have got in the habit during the Covid lockdown of finding out more about their local habitat. And rightly so, I never understand these Coves you know, the ones that drive across town to another park when they have one on the doorstep. Of course, some parks are full of skagheads I suppose aren't they? And there is probably a better quality of filly on display in some areas of town when the sun beats down."
"Not that I expect De Marco has been driving all the way up to Sheffield to sit with his car window down and dreadful music booming out. I expect he's got other more pressing matters at hand. Not least in trying to ensure the lattice work on his pies is, well, you know, proper lattice work and not just strip laid over strip."
"Now listen, I'm all for folks unwinding in the kitchen, and I love a Cherry Tart like the next man. Who doesn't? But to my mind this is worrying. He's got an excellent name this chap. But my heart does miss a beat when I see a slovenly approach to pastry work. I mean to say, I start conjuring in my head the thought that the type that could do such a thing as not interlace the lattice, not to mention the double fold at 11.55 on the dish,well, it brings the thought of the sort of chap that might the case files screwed up in a tattered old manilla file stuffed in the glovebox. Type who might sleep off a session in the backseat outside chambers?"
"I'm sure he isn't,Sir"
" I hope he isn't. I hope he isn't"
"Sir, you do not get the reputation he has by being sloppy in practise"
"Yes, yes, you're quite right, Stubbs. He couldn't have gotten such a good reputation going on like that. You don't get a name for yourself by being sloppy. Well, apart from that TV detective, the slovenly one with the mac. You know the one."
"That's the blighter. He was slovenly but good. But there can't be many of them about. Gosh, it is a worry."
"Columbo is fictional, Sir. I'm sure everything is fine and there's nothing to worry about....."
"....as long as his mind is sharper than his pastry cutter"
"Did you say something,Stubbs?"
Swansea - V - Wednesday
Kick off: 12:00
THE TEAM NEWS
Swansea are still in with a shout of a top-six finish, but Steve Cooper's side were forced to settle for a point against Millwall last time out - a result which leaves them four points adrift of the playoff places in eighth.
Cooper would have been extremely disappointed by his side's defeat to basement side Luton Town last weekend, and their failure to record maximum points against Millwall has done them no favours as they endeavour to gain promotion back to the Premier League.
However, with both Preston North End and Blackburn Rovers losing ground in the battle for the top six recently, Swansea will feel that they are well-positioned to try and break into the playoff places with six games remaining, but results must improve immediately.
Indeed, the Swans have only managed one win in their last six in the English second tier – form that is more commonly associated with a side battling relegation rather than vying for promotion.
Naughton Guehi Cabango Bidwell
Ayew Byers Dhanda Brewster
Julien Borner has trained and will be available and is expected to go straight into the side as left sided centre half.
Kieran Lee maybe recalled to the starting line up if Monk decides to rest one of his wingers and move Adam Reach into a wide position. Wednesday are likely to remain unchanged up front.
Palmer Iorfa Borner
Murphy Lee Luongo Bannan Harris
COME ON WEDNESDAY!