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Leeds VS Derby


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I'd like  to see.....

 

Plenty of little knocks and strains. To start with. Groin injuries seem like a good one. They seem to drag on for months and months.

 

But then I'd like to see a fight between two team mates. .

Couple of sending offs . Maybe two for each side.  

 

I'd like to see Monk make a tactical substitution after going down to 9 men and the player who's coming off  hurling his shirt in Monks face. Then Steve McLaren stepping in to play the mediator because he thinks it'll make him look good, but it backfires and ends up with him getting slapped by the aggrieved and raging L**ds player  . 

As the Derby gaffer reels in shock he notices that the front tuft of his hair has come out with the blow and is falling, drifting down like a leaf  to the artificial grass floor near the dugouts, McLaren then, full of rage,  launching himself at the player, who bodyswerves as McLaren lunges sending him flying past and taking out the fourth official, who drops the electronic board with the subs numbers he was holding aloft onto Monks head.  All three end up in a pile on the floor. Both benches leap to action and a massive mele breaks out.  Monk is out cold , the L**ds shirt still covering his head while the broken subs board lies nearby.   McLaren now is crying, crawling around pathetically   on his hands and knees searching for his beloved front tuft. 

 

The fans start surging forward into the technical area and shaking the away dug out. A few of the snarling beasts break through the back and start attacking the Derby backroom staff.  The Derby fans seeing it all kick off sure themselves , break the lines of stewards and rush to the aid of their bench, seeing as they approach a flurry of  feet and fists go flying into their coaching staff. 

The tannoy announcers voice tries to restore calm over the P.A system "Calm down, it' ornly wun-nil. Please can spectaaaayters, gor back to the seats"

It's no use though. It's a full scale riot now.

 

The newspaper hacks in the stands are licking their lips with relish now, and are feverishly typing away ready for the morning editions  ..."not since the dark days of the 70's"........... "the skeleton in English footballs closet is alive again"......."70'S REVISITED" ...."THE DAMNED UNITED".

 

A stream of police horses then come thundering in from an opened gate, charging into the livid and angry crowd like the knights with lances drawn, their  batons  thudding  down on the heads of everyone and anyone.  

 

At home the chairman of the FA is already on the phone in conference call. "this simply won't do. What on Earth are we do with them?".........."Who knows, shoot them by firing squad?"........"Good God man, that's illegal!" ......."Is it? Well it shouldn't be"...................then a calmer voice "We'll make them both play all the remainder of their home games behind closed doors."........."good idea!"............."Or we could let only away fans in"........"Even better!"........."Stadium bans for the managers and coaches"...."Yes. We've really got to come down hard on them"......

 

In a corridor behind the stand a deaf old tea lady trundles down the corridor with her cake trolley. She has no idea what is happening. As she turns the corner she doesn't notice a tear appear in the eye of a framed portrait of Revie.

 

That's what I'd like to see.

Barring all that though. I think a 0-0 would be acceptable.

 

Edited by Lord Snooty
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2 minutes ago, Lord Snooty said:

I'd like  to see.....

 

Plenty of little knocks and strains. To start with. Groin injuries seem like a good one. They seem to drag on for months and months.

 

But then I'd like to see a fight between two team mates. .

Couple of sending offs . Maybe two for each side.  

 

I'd like to see Monk make a tactical substitution after going down to 9 men and the player who's coming off  hurling his shirt in Monks face. Then Steve McLaren stepping in to play the mediator because he thinks it'll make him look good, but it backfires and ends up with him getting slapped by the aggrieved and raging L**ds player  . 

As the Derby gaffer reels in shock he notices that the front tuft of his hair has come out with the blow and is falling, drifting down like a leaf  to the artificial grass floor near the dugouts, McLaren then, full of rage,  launching himself at the player, who bodyswerves as McLaren lunges sending him flying past and taking out the fourth official, who drops the electronic board with the subs numbers he was holding aloft onto Monks head.  All three end up in a pile on the floor. Both benches leap to action and a massive mele breaks out.  Monk is out cold , the L**ds shirt still covering his head while the broken subs board lies nearby.   McLaren now is crying, crawling around pathetically   on his hands and knees searching for his beloved front tuft. 

 

The fans start surging forward into the technical area and shaking the away dug out. A few of the snarling beasts break through the back and start attacking the Derby backroom staff.  The Derby fans seeing it all kick off sure themselves , break the lines of stewards and rush to the aid of their bench, seeing as they approach a flurry of  feet and fists go flying into their coaching staff. 

The tannoy announcers voice tries to restore calm over the P.A system "Calm down, it' ornly wun-nil. Please can spectaaaayters, gor back to the seats"

It's no use though. It's a full scale riot now.

 

The newspaper hacks in the stands are licking their lips with relish now, and are feverishly typing away ready for the morning editions  ..."not since the dark days of the 70's"........... "the skeleton in English footballs closet is alive again"......."70'S REVISITED" ...."THE DAMNED UNITED".

 

A stream of police horses then come thundering in from an opened gate, charging into the livid and angry crowd like the knights with lances drawn, their  batons  thudding  down on the heads of everyone and anyone.  

 

At home the chairman of the FA is already on the phone in conference call. "this simply won't do. What on Earth are we do with them?".........."Who knows, shoot them by firing squad?"........"Good God man, that's illegal!" ......."Is it? Well it shouldn't be"...................then a calmer voice "We'll make them both play all the remainder of their home games behind closed doors."........."good idea!"............."Or we could let only away fans in"........"Even better!"........."Stadium bans for the managers and coaches"...."Yes. We've really got to come down hard on them"......

 

That's what I'd like to see.

Barring all that though. I think a 0-0 would be acceptable.

 

Surely a 10 point deduction for both clubs too?

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a draw would prob be best, 5 injuries each ,6 sendings off .a pitch invasion ,both 10 pts deducted ,some on here though want leeds to win? cant be serious no way ,way I see it derby are certain for play offs ,we would be better off trying to catch leeds ,and I cant stand em most arrogant twats ive ever met . also do we really want to face leeds in either play off semi or final? I could see it been a war zone in such a high profile game it would be carnage

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