Birmingham -V- Wednesday 18 OMDT

[Lord Snooty]

 

 

 

 "Crikey Stubbs, it's hard to believe people live like this in England in this day and age isn't it. One could almost feel guilt. Right, now, now look old man, I'm all for the doing our best to make it hard for Lady S to track us down and what not, but I really don't think we should have short-cutted through here. There's some really rough looking characters about.  I mean I'm all for playing the on-the-run-cad and what not. Lots of fun.  But I really wouldn't mind just getting to the hotel and having a soak and getting an early night ready for the game now."

 

 "Sir"

 

 "So where to Stubbs, The Park Regis?"

 

 "No Sir" 

 

 "The Regency?"

 

 "Sir.."

 

 "Ahh! The Penthouse suite at Malmaison. Hey, I'll be able to say I slept in the same bed as Beyonce! Shame she'll be no where near it"

 

 "Sir, I couldn't.."

 

 "I could, by God what toned thighs!"

 

 "Sir, I mean I couldn't-"

 

 "Good man. Always a gentlemen. Right lets go"

 "Sir.."

 

 "Don't know what I'd do without you. When a man wants lodgings you always come up trumps. Is it far?"

 

 "We're here"

 

 "I know where we are Stubbs, I have been to Birmingham before"

 

 "Sir. I couldn't get us anything. This is it. It's all we could afford"

 

 "You've bought a flat here!?"

 

 "Bought? No Sir. This is a hotel. Didn't you see the sign on the way in?"

 

 "A hotel? Who in their right mind would stay here?!"

 

 "I have hired us a room, Sir"

 

 "Ha. You're serious?  Bloody hell. Where am I penthouse?"

 

 "Room Sir. Singular"

 

 "You can't stay in my room"

 

 "It's my room"

 

 "Are you drunk man?!"

 

 "Your bank cards have been cancelled Sir"

 

 "Cancelled?!"

 

 "I would presume by her ladyship Sir. I have had to pay with cash"

 

 "She's trying to flush us out!"

 

 "It would seem she's succeeding Sir."

 

 "We can only afford one night here"

 

 "We can't go home!"

 

 "Don't really have a choice Sir. You don't want to spend another winter sleeping rough in the woods."

 

 "Well no, who would. But.."

 

 "Then after the game tomorrow we have little choice but to return to Snoot Hall"

 

 "But don't you understand man, she'll want....she'll want...you know"

 

 "Indeed Sir"

 

 "Oh God. Oh God oh God"

 "She can't be avoided forever."

 

 "Unpack the bags then Stubbs. I'm going to make the best of this final weekend... I'll have a shower and try and take my mind off it..try and..ARRGH Stubbs what's this?"

 

 "It looks like a rat Sir."

 

 "What the hell is it doing in the bath?"

 

 "It appears to be the backstroke Sir"

 

 "Get rid of it man!"

 

 "Sir, it's snarling"

 

 "Can rats snarl Stubbs?"

 

 "This one can Sir."

 

 "Hit it, hit it with that chair leg!"

 

 "It's still attached to the chair Sir"

 

 "Good, look at the size of the blighter. Go on Stubbs, that's it, in you go....have you got it, have you got it?"

 

 "No Sir. Close the door quick"

 

 "Where's the chair?"

 

 "It's eaten it Sir"

 

 "Lock it in, lock it in! Prop the grandfather clock against the door"

 

 "That's not a grandfather clock Sir. It looks more like a funeral casket"

 

 "What?!"

 

 "If we can just get it wedged  under the door handle"

 

 "Like the do in the films!"

 

 "Exactly Sir"

 

 "What the hell is that noise?"

 

 "He's kicking the door?"

 

 "And making that sort of noise?"

 

 "Didn't you see his boots Sir. Steel toecap"

 

 "Is that it, have we done it. Is the door wedged?"

 

 "I think so ,Sir"

 

 "Sure?"

 

 "Yes Sir"

 

 "Oh Stubbs. This is truly awful. I feel weak. Weak. The horrors pile on. Let me rest a while.....agghh...Stubbs something stabbed me in the back when I lied down"

 

 "Let me see Sir"

 

 "What is it Stubbs, what is it? Please tell me it's not a hypodermic needle"

 

 "It's straw Sir"

 

 "Straw? Oh, I say , Is there a cocktail cabinet? Maybe things are looking up"

 

 "No Sir. Straw straw. Upon inspection it would appear your bed is a haybale.

 

 "This is awful .An awful week. Two defeats for Wednesday. Her coming home, and now this- stuck in a Birmingham slum with a giant rat. Ah Stubbs. Please tell me some good news. Tell me the Wednesday can win tomorrow."

 

 "The Wednesday can win tomorrow Sir"

 

 "You could say it with a little more enthusiasm"

 

 "It's a statement of fact Sir. The game could, like all games of football, go one of three ways"

 

 "I know that! I'm just saying you might put a bit more vigour into your voice. Be a bit more animated when saying it."

 

 "But that would have zero impact on the probability of the result Sir. Being animated talking about a coming game neither increases or decreases your chances of getting a favourable result. One only need see a pre-match press conference to see that"

 

 "But still. You have to sound like you believe Stubbs."

 

 "Belief doesn't make the chances of a win any more like-"

 

 "Ok , Ok. Bloody hell .If you insist on being so removed from the emotion of it all, at least cheer me up with the match facts"

 

 "About that Sir-"

 

"Just read them. Ignite my fire for the game! Restore some of my faith that this isn't going to be the worst of weeks."

 

 

Birmingham  - V - Wednesday

Bet Championship
St. Andrew's Stadium
3:00pm

Match facts

• Sheffield Wednesday have lost three of their last four league matches against Birmingham, including both games in 2017-18.

 

• Blues are unbeaten in 10 Championship games, their best run since November 2013

 

• Wednesday are the only Championship side without a clean sheet this season - their last in the league was against last season's champions Wolves in a 0-0 draw in April.

 

• Blues boss Garry Monk has won all three of his Championship games against Sheffield Wednesday 

 

• Of the last 11 Championship goals conceded by Wednesday, 10 have been scored in the second half.

 

 "And?"

 

 "And what Sir?"

 

 "The good news?"

 

 "There is no good news Sir. Those are the facts and Stats. They're the form team in the division. Monk hasn't lost against you, and you cant keep a clean sheet"

 

 

 

 "You don't have one positive piece of news at all?"

 

 "You wanted the facts Sir. They're the facts"

 

 "Well balls to the facts, I want some good bloody news"

 

 "Well Jaques Maghoma might not be fit to start Sir"

 

 "Is that it? Is that the absolute best news you have. That a player who wasn't good enough for us 5 years ago might be injured"

 

 "That's about the strength of it Sir"

 

 "The naysayers are right. We are doomed to defeat. Doooomed!"

 

 "Vivir con miedo, es como vivir a medias!"

 

 "Stubbs?"

 

 "A life lived in fear, is a life half lived"

 

 "Churchill?"

 

 "No Sir. Fran the plain and slightly clumsy beginner dancer  in Baz Luhrmanns classic 1992 film, Strictly Ballroom"

 

 "Eh?"

 

 "Anything is possible Sir."

 

 "You're right...balls to the stats

 

..COME ON WEDNESDAY!

 

 

 

 

Edited March 9, 2021 by Lord Snooty

[33]

OMFG

 

Brilliant

[Whitechapel Owl]

UTO

 

[Luke]

5 minutes ago, Whitechapel Owl said:

UTO

 

Stuck some cakeball in his shorts the cheeky monkey

Edited October 26, 2018 by WelshOwl74

[Utah Owl]

Take it that is Lady S about half way down the thread! Nice fangs err..teeth!

 

The stats are so one sided that it can only mean one thing. An upset is on the cards!

 

Gerrintoem Wednesday!

[WindygrOWLer]

[WindygrOWLer]

46 minutes ago, Whitechapel Owl said:

UTO

 

Hope the physio got the sack... 

[Rogers]

Tough game, we’ve played well there recently and not got much joy, mainly down to letting the foot off the pedal or mistakes. 

 

Hooper usually tears them a new one, shame his leg has fallen off. 

[Gresh]

We're not in good form at the moment and we're playing a Birmingham playing well.  I'd be happy to get a draw out of this one.

[F. Spiksley]

2 hours ago, Whitechapel Owl said:

UTO

 

 

top.

 

 

UTO.

 

 

[nevthelodgemoorowl]

OK time for some...………………….. BESSEMER CONVERTER

 

 

Reliable in the past lets see if she can do the trick again !

 

COME ON WEDNESDAY YOU CAN DO THIS WAWAW UTO !

[Mr. Tom]

Sleeping with my shiny iFollow tenner under the pillow, can't wait lads

 

 

[Orlando_Trustful]

I fully expect a similar game to QPR. 

 

I think I might play RDR2 instead of watching it. 

[Ronio]

Will be a completely different game to the last one, that's for sure. 

 

Reckon we will come away with a win.  Birmingham are nothing special. 

 

I often think to myself, we have the quality in the squad, we just lack that certain belief.  I think sometimes, what are we really afraid of.  

 

I just wish, we would go out onto the pitch and believe that we will truly win the game.  Character is what we are lacking, and a bit of leadership wouldn't go amiss. 

 

Dawson, anytime the ball comes into the box, get stuck in and smash it clear.  Left foot, right foot, your face if necessary. 

 

Palmer, get forrad when you get the chance, if the opportunity arises, put your laces through it.  Do not stop running.

 

Lees, get your right foot or head in there.  Don't give them a chance.  If a player gets past you, take him out, as long as you are not in the box.

 

Hector.  Keep up the defensive work,  Set pieces, this is your chance..

 

Thorniley, keep an eye out for that killer pass. If in doubt, hoof it.

 

Penney,  Get some lovely crosses whipped in from the left, otherwise shoot.  Tell Bazza, next free kick is yours. 

 

Pessy.  Needs to act a bit of a nob on the pitch, tackle often and hard, always.  Make your presence known, A yellow card isn't necessarily a bad thing. 

 

Bazza,  Stop sitting in front of the defence.  Get forward more, and get them one two's going as you break into the box.  In the box, keep the ball close,  very close.  We could do with a few more penalties.

 

Reachinho, as you were.

 

Joao.  Gotto toughen up, bully the opposition and use those afterburners more often.  Need to be more ruthless whilst in possession.  

 

Big man.  Goals.  We want goals.  Stay higher up the pitch and get in the box more often.  Sit between their centre backs and throw them around like a rag doll.  

 

 

 

There, I said it.   

 

 

 

Edited October 27, 2018 by Ronio

[Utah Owl]

4 hours ago, Windygrowler said:

Hope the physio got the sack... 

Well it looks like Danny's practising for getting in the sack!

[new zealand owl]

Dreading this to be honest but we’ve faced better opposition with worse owls teams than this and still managed to win occasionally.  

 

My two hopes are that Fox and Nuhiu don’t start. Whatever the opinions and form of the other players I know deep down these two aren’t good enough. Get Lees and Penney back in the team and just hope for an improved performance. 

 

2-1 to them but an improvement performance wise.

[Roscoe P. Coltrane]

THE WEDNESDAY

[Holmowl]

Fear the worst, hope for the best.

 

Nice one Snoots.

 

Take a point. Especially a nil-nil to give that gaping defence a grain of confidence.

 

 

 

We are on target to concede 76 goals.....look no further.

Edited October 27, 2018 by Holmowl

[dewsburyowl58]

Liking your take on humour Snoots , has me smiling , no mean feat  these days , Doesn’t seem that long ago Hoops ran them ragged !! Settle for a draw here I reckon 

[WalthamOwl]

Really need to step up our performance against a very inform team. Our last few performances have really pi$$ed me off. Whatever team Jos picks he needs to have those players fired up from the very first minute. Another loss and Jos will be under a hell of a lot of pressure, some of it fully deserved with his stubbornness imo.