pauli Posted March 12, 2016 Share Posted March 12, 2016 (edited) TODAY’S OPPOSITES It was the late 1960’s and Nottingham housewife, Shirley Clout was on her way home. She had been having a quiet drink in the pub with friends after work when suddenly there was a flash of intense white light. Temporarily blinded, Shirley lost her way, ending up in the car park behind the chippy. Regaining her vision, she noticed two space aliens approaching. One of them said; “Alright Shirley, do you fancy a threesome?†She told us later; “They were definitely aliens, how else would they know my name? Also, they were wearing Notts County tops to blend in with the humans.†She quickly agreed to a scuttle and after a thorough probing, they were giving her the space sex. “I feel like I was chosen as an intergalactic sex ambassador for humanity†she said, “when they were finished, they wandered off back to their spaceship, singing County songs and drinking their alien refreshments which were disguised as cans of Tennant’s Super Tâ€. Still dazed after arriving home, she decided not to say anything to her husband, Brian. As the weeks went by, her figure changed rapidly. She was pregnant with a space alien baby! Shirley still said nothing and Brian just assumed that he was responsible. Nine months later, it was time to visit the maternity ward. Brian came along too, excited at the prospect of seeing the strapping young lad who would one day take over his business selling garden sheds. Shirley went into labour and after about an hour of grunting and swearing the child popped out … then another and another… eventually, there were twelve in total. They were green and they all had four legs! Confused but feeling every bit the proud father, Brian left the hospital and went to get very, very drunk on the 16 bottles of brown ale that he had at home in the sideboard. The next day was a complete blackout but late on, he remembered that he now had a family to take care of. He was up early the next morning and went to see his wife. As Brian entered the room, the first thing he noticed was that the babies had all grown quite a bit and were already scrambling about on the floor. Spotting a small ball on the windowsill, he rolled it into their midst. The babies pounced on it and were soon demonstrating considerable dribbling and shooting skills. Brian decided there and then that he would form a football team and that’s how we come to be playing them today. THE SERIOUS BIT Venue: City Ground, Nottingham.Kick Off: Saturday the 12th of March at 15:00 Matchday Apparel: Away shirt. Matchday Pub: The Squire of Preston recommends The Trent Navigation pub at 17 Meadow Ln, Nottingham NG23HS - not just for your 16 pints, the landlady will also have her lovely Matchday Baps out if you fancy a couple. Probobobobobobobobobobobarbly. Matchday Pie: Puckered. Matchday Song: Space Bass by Slick… MATCHDAY FACTS Nottingham Forest hope Benfica loan striker Nelson Oliveira will shake off a groin injury sustained in midweek. Oliver Burke may play with a cast on a broken hand but he, Jamie Ward (afraid of José Semedo) and Henri Lansbury are all doubts. Wednesday striker Fernando Forestieri is available after serving a two-game ban and could be in line for a recall. Head coach Carlos Carvalhal has no new selection worries after his six changes at Brighton, with a host of players pushing for recalls. Head to Head â–ª Nottingham Forest have not failed to score in three consecutive matches against the Owls since August 1968. â–ª Sheffield Wednesday have won back to back games against Forest - they've not won three in a row since December 1998. â–ª Forest have netted just three goals in their past seven league games after scoring 10 in the seven previous to that. â–ª Wednesday are on their longest scoreless run in the league (three games) since November 2014 - a fourth would be their longest run without scoring since a run of six in December 2009. â–ª Since a 13-game unbeaten run in the Championship between November 2015 and February 2016, Forest have lost four of their past five games (W1). My prediction: We will win 2 - 0. KING CARLOS’ WORDS OF WISDOM “I don’t feel any change between now and three months ago, we are all the time focused on the next game. In this case we are focused on the Nottingham Forest, everybody is showing in training that they want to play. All of the players show that we are ready, all of the players believe that they can play on Saturday. The big pressure they have is only to themselves, if they will play or not. When you have this kind of pressure on yourself you don’t think too much about the environment and a lot of things because you must think about doing the maximum to play.†MINTYNESS With the full energy! Edited March 12, 2016 by pauli Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edmontonowl Posted March 12, 2016 Share Posted March 12, 2016 Carlos says we are focussed on THE Nottingham Forest Let's give 'em some wood...........................they don't like it up 'em 2-1 Owls FF x 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theowlsman Posted March 12, 2016 Share Posted March 12, 2016 Excellent thread Pauli. I'll get around to reading it shortly. Looking forward to tomorrow's big match. No, not the Forest game, my fishing match at Partridge Lakes near Warrington. I've cast a spell to jinx the teams around us so Wednesday should catch up more points at the top tomorrow Nuhiu hat trick nailed on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NYCOWL Posted March 12, 2016 Share Posted March 12, 2016 "She quickly agreed to a scuttle" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest minsk owl Posted March 12, 2016 Share Posted March 12, 2016 (edited) Scuttle Back to winning ways today, Hooper and Forestieri , a late bottom corner free kick by McGugan from County's ground being disallowed because the wall moved. 2 - 0 Wednesday Edited March 12, 2016 by minsk owl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronio Posted March 12, 2016 Share Posted March 12, 2016 Evening gents. Brilliant Pauli. Time to get back to winning ways. This is the perfect game to do it.. Forestieri coming back into the side will get us flowing again, so I'm going for 2-0 Wednesday, Forestieri with the goals. ATTACK ATTACK ATTACK COME ON WEDNESDAY!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tommo_ Posted March 12, 2016 Share Posted March 12, 2016 GERRAT EM 0-3 Forestieri hat trick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LJH1867OWLS Posted March 12, 2016 Share Posted March 12, 2016 Great OMDT again Pauli! I'm going for a Wednesday 2-1 win Fessi and Bannan to score! One day I'll get a prediction right just you wait and see COME ON WEDNESDAY! *fist bump* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonny Posted March 12, 2016 Share Posted March 12, 2016 "She quickly agreed to a scuttle" Big laugh at that line. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S36 OWL Posted March 12, 2016 Share Posted March 12, 2016 Brilliant OMDT Pauli . Have a feeling for a 2-1 win with Hoops and Fessi hitting the back of the net Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NYCOWL Posted March 12, 2016 Share Posted March 12, 2016 (edited) You just don't hear "scuttle" used that much anymore. Especially where I live. Edited March 12, 2016 by NYCOWL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
themaskedowl Posted March 12, 2016 Share Posted March 12, 2016 Boom! So both teams see to have hit a scoring drought. Plenty of goals in this one then. Forest 0 - Wednesday 4003. Larvalee. Morning all. Hope you're keeping well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cersei Posted March 12, 2016 Share Posted March 12, 2016 I can't bare the thought of not winning today, really can't. I hope we go and play for the win. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manor Owl Posted March 12, 2016 Share Posted March 12, 2016 Just woke up at a hotel at Gatwick prior to a stupid o'clock flight to Colombia and Panama. Mornings on matchday start with reading the thread. Normally nearer 11am. Excellent again. Not heard "scuttling" for years. Usually on the full phrase "back scuttling". Has a ring to it. May introduce it into conversation today as in "Forest have had a right scuttling today" Feeling good about today. 2-0 FF and Kieran Lee. Time to wake up Mrs Manor and introduce her to scuttling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ever the pessimist Posted March 12, 2016 Share Posted March 12, 2016 Forest to win 1-0 with a penalty given for handball against forestieri after he heads the ball on the halfway line and is consequently banned from all football for 17 months. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatzooma Posted March 12, 2016 Share Posted March 12, 2016 The moon will enter my sign (Taurus) this afternoon so I see nothing but a win! Being a strong earth sign, my ruling planet Venus will be at odds with the red planet Mars who is now in retrograde. 3-0 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bleeder Posted March 12, 2016 Share Posted March 12, 2016 That were reyt good... 2-1 us uto Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HOOTIE AND THE SHIT TU Posted March 12, 2016 Share Posted March 12, 2016 Best one yet Pauli Got to be careful of those space aliens, they're the worst type of aliens Sneaky win for The Wednesday 1-0 Fessi back with a boner, I mean a bang Just a bloke, who used up all his luck in one go when he met his wife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noddyowl Posted March 12, 2016 Share Posted March 12, 2016 Morning fellow MGG-ers! Looking forward to today. Think we'll win, and win well. Forest are poo , and Forestieri has a point to prove. 3-1, with Forestieri, Hooper and Mcgugan to score. UTO! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
owls-swfc Posted March 12, 2016 Share Posted March 12, 2016 (edited) PLAY UP WEDNESDAY! Edited March 12, 2016 by owls-swfc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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