Lump On Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 2 hours ago, Mus said: I married someone who loves the game as much as I do, we watched every match in the world cup, fantastic!!! Sounds like you've got yourself a nice fella.... as he got any sisters? 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebowl Yell Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 Excuse me if I have no sympathy for the girlfriend stealer. I hope the new man is a blade 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post scilly owl Posted August 8, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted August 8, 2018 My next door neighbour is a Sheffield United fan. He holds the world record for being hit on the head with a rock the most times in a day. He only lives a stones throw away. 1 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Waddlesdiamondlights Posted August 8, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted August 8, 2018 4 hours ago, matthefish2002 said: Last year my wife ran off with our next door neighbour. I still miss him. I was out with our last the other night and as i sat gazing into my pint i said.I love you she replied is that you or the beer talking ?To which i replied .Its me talking to the beer 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walt Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 I’ve not spoken to our Gert in 18 months... I don’t like to butt in 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mus Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 2 hours ago, ... said: Sounds like you've got yourself a nice fella.... as he got any sisters? Yes he's a lovely fella, but he has only got a brother 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pgmetcalf Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 (edited) There was bad news in Stannington this morning. The village store had slightly overcooked the sausage rolls. Nearly caused a riot Edited August 8, 2018 by pgmetcalf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
room0035 Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 7 hours ago, @owlstalk said: My wife came home from work last night to find me sitting watching the football on the telly. "I've decided I'm leaving you, all you do is talk about football you think about nothing else," she said. "I'm also seeing someone else truth be told." "Really?" I replied. "What team does he support?" Best one i ever heard was my dad with his missus She comes back from the hairdresser and walk in the room my dad turns round looks at her and says' they were shut then' she thought it was a complement. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
room0035 Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 6 minutes ago, pgmetcalf said: There was bad news in Stannington this morning. The village store had slightly overcooked the sausage rolls. Nearly caused a riot I have seen riots for less than that in Stannington, only a few weeks ago the chippy ran out of vinegar and there were placard and everything until someone explained to them the Co-op next door sold it. We are very simple folk in Stannington and simple things done wrong can lead to big trouble Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whatahoot Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 9 hours ago, @owlstalk said: My wife came home from work last night to find me sitting watching the football on the telly. "I've decided I'm leaving you, all you do is talk about football you think about nothing else," she said. "I'm also seeing someone else truth be told." "Really?" I replied. "What team does he support?" Do we all take it that your " positivity " period has come to an end. You should have welcomed her home with open arms, got her a cuppa and told her to put her feet up, before she got yer tea ready. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OhForAnotherShez Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 9 hours ago, @owlstalk said: My wife came home from work last night to find me sitting watching the football on the telly. "I've decided I'm leaving you, all you do is talk about football you think about nothing else," she said. "I'm also seeing someone else truth be told." "Really?" I replied. "What team does he support?" Well it must have been worth it if you was watching Middlesbro'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scilly owl Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 2 hours ago, room0035 said: I have seen riots for less than that in Stannington, only a few weeks ago the chippy ran out of vinegar and there were placard and everything until someone explained to them the Co-op next door sold it. We are very simple folk in Stannington and simple things done wrong can lead to big trouble Where is Stannington ? Sounds like the sort of place that I would like to visit. I should imagine that it’s like Redruth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trevdi9 Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 (edited) when I first met the x it was love at first sight ,,,, but her sister turned me down so I got the booby prize :( Edited August 8, 2018 by trevdi9 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dontCallMeOwlCallYou Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 11 hours ago, @owlstalk said: My wife came home from work last night to find me sitting watching the football on the telly. "I've decided I'm leaving you, all you do is talk about football you think about nothing else," she said. "I'm also seeing someone else truth be told." "Really?" I replied. "What team does he support?" Show her the red card. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Inspector Lestrade Posted August 8, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted August 8, 2018 A man sat next to me at the League Cup Final. He looks to his left and notices that there is a spare seat between us. The man: “Who would ever miss the League Cup final?” ME: “That was my wife’s seat. We have been to the last three Cup games together, but sadly she's passed away.” The man: “That’s terrible, couldn’t you get another member of the family, friend, or someone else to come with you?” ME: “No…they are all at the funeral!” 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Eastleigh Owl Posted August 8, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted August 8, 2018 Mine ran off with a copper about 3 years ago. Last week I was coming home from work, speeding as usual and I saw the blue flashing lights chasing me down the M27, we got up to 115MPH when I finally gave up and pulled over. The copper says "What the f--- are you playing at" I explain to the copper that my wife had ran off with one of his colleagues 3 years previously. WTF has that got to do with you doing 115 mph just now. I thought he was bringing her back. 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roscoe P. Coltrane Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 4 minutes ago, Eastleigh Owl said: Mine ran off with a copper about 3 years ago. Last week I was coming home from work, speeding as usual and I saw the blue flashing lights chasing me down the M27, we got up to 115MPH when I finally gave up and pulled over. The copper says "What the f--- are you playing at" I explain to the copper that my wife had ran off with one of his colleagues 3 years previously. WTF has that got to do with you doing 115 mph just now. I thought he was bringing her back. Did she tell you about his truncheon mate 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OWLERTON GHOST Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 1 minute ago, Andoverowl said: Did she tell you about his truncheon meat Thats much better ...... 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eastleigh Owl Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 1 minute ago, OWLERTON GHOST said: Thats much better ...... Is that what coppers have in their sarnies, FFS, thats an old one isn't it? I was cracking that one 50 years ago. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OWLERTON GHOST Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 (edited) 5 minutes ago, Eastleigh Owl said: Is that what coppers have in their sarnies, FFS, thats an old one isn't it? I was cracking that one 50 years ago. Congratulations Mr Eastleigh you have just passed Owlstalks standard dementia test .. Edited August 8, 2018 by OWLERTON GHOST 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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