Eastleigh Owl Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 2 minutes ago, OWLERTON GHOST said: Congratulations Mr Eastleigh you have just passed Owlstalks standard dementia test .. I already took the test last week OG and passed with flying colours. Doctor asked me to name 4 living things, creatures/animals etc, beginning with the letter S and I had 20 seconds to do it. You've already had 15 seconds BTW and you have't got any yet. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prowl Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 My wife told me I needed to get in shape or she'd leave me. I said "Round is a shape". She left. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eastleigh Owl Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 The ones I got were sheep, sloth, snake and sebra. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OWLERTON GHOST Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 6 minutes ago, Eastleigh Owl said: I already took the test last week OG and passed with flying colours. Doctor asked me to name 4 living things, creatures/animals etc, beginning with the letter S and I had 20 seconds to do it. You've already had 15 seconds BTW and you have't got any yet. Really sorry there I got a tad confused watching it going from 20 to 15 to 10 to 5 Thought it was warnocks bidding for Forestieri at quarter to ten tomorrow night .......... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pale Rider Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 (edited) Ok supply the punch line to this Edited August 8, 2018 by Pale Rider 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roscoe P. Coltrane Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 2 minutes ago, OWLERTON GHOST said: Really sorry there I got a tad confused watching it going from 20 to 15 to 10 to 5 Thought it was warnocks bidding for Forestieri at quarter to ten tomorrow night .......... I reckon Colin will be using the Manfred Mann approach 54321 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inspector Lestrade Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 14 minutes ago, OWLERTON GHOST said: Congratulations Mr Eastleigh you have just passed Owlstalks standard dementia test .. I think I compiled that test, dunno can't remember, what we taking about? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post sonofbert2 Posted August 8, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted August 8, 2018 My mate went to the doctors yesterday because hiscock had turned bright orange. The doctor said he'd never seen anything like it and referred him straight to the Hallamshire for some tests but said he needed to ask a few basic lifestyle questions etc before he went. He asked about work, exercise, relationships, pastimes etc and my mate told him that his life took a downturn when he was made redundant just over a year ago. There were money problems which led to him splitting up with the missus and his previous routine, diet, gym etc had all gone to pot. So the doctor asked him how he now filled his time. My mate told him straight up that most days he gets up late and spends most of his time watching pornos and eating Wotsits. 1 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bark1062 Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 10 hours ago, Mus said: I married someone who loves the game as much as I do, we watched every match in the world cup, fantastic!!! I don’t get it ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pale Rider Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 3 minutes ago, Bark1062 said: I don’t get it ? Too busy watching football I presume 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pablo Bonvin Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 45 minutes ago, Eastleigh Owl said: Doctor asked me to name 4 living things, creatures/animals etc, beginning with the letter S Let me have a try. 1. Some dogs 2. Some cats 3. Some foxes 4. Some mice Have I passed? 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prowl Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 24 minutes ago, Bark1062 said: I don’t get it ? Neither do I since the wife left. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 me and the wife were out golfing last weekend, when suddenly the wife asked, "Honey, if I died would you get married again?" "No sweetie." The wife said, "I'm sure you would." , "Okay, I would" Then she asked, "Would you let her sleep in our bed?" I replied, "Ya, I guess so." Then the wife asked, "Would you let her use my golf clubs?" "No, she's left handed" 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OWLERTON GHOST Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 45 minutes ago, Watson said: I think I compiled that test, dunno can't remember, what we taking about? Good evening I'm so pleased to meet you.... Not had the pleasure sir ? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inspector Lestrade Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 1 minute ago, OWLERTON GHOST said: Good evening I'm so pleased to meet you.... Not had the pleasure sir ? No, and let's keep it that way. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
s73owl Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 16 minutes ago, prowl said: Neither do I since the wife left. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danny0wl Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 59 minutes ago, sonofbert2 said: My mate went to the doctors yesterday because hiscock had turned bright orange. The doctor said he'd never seen anything like it and referred him straight to the Hallamshire for some tests but said he needed to ask a few basic lifestyle questions etc before he went. He asked about work, exercise, relationships, pastimes etc and my mate told him that his life took a downturn when he was made redundant just over a year ago. There were money problems which led to him splitting up with the missus and his previous routine, diet, gym etc had all gone to pot. So the doctor asked him how he now filled his time. My mate told him straight up that most days he gets up late and spends most of his time watching pornos and eating Wotsits. Yes mate, having this ^, do you mind? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bark1062 Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 (edited) 30 minutes ago, prowl said: Neither do I since the wife left. Me neither...and she’s still here!! my wife.....not yours Edited August 8, 2018 by Bark1062 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 (edited) Me and my wife was laid in bed after making love, She turned to me and said "oh john this c0ck$ massive,how many inches do you recon it is?" "about 32 "I replied "o john be more realistic" she laughed "ok I was trying to be nice,your about a 50 ya fat c#nt " I said Edited August 8, 2018 by welsOwl74 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sonofbert2 Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 1 hour ago, danny0wl said: Yes mate, having this ^, do you mind? No worries.... My elderly inlaws were at the doctors this morning because their memories are going so I took them for a check up. They won't get the results from the blood tests until next week but the doctor said it would help if they wrote stuff down. It's red hot here in Spain at the minute so the old boy asked the old lady if she wanted an ice cream when we got back. She said she wanted vanilla and said to write it down. He said don't be daft, I can remember that, do you want sprinklings or choc chips on it? She said choc chips but please write it down. He said again, don't be daft, do you want any sauce on? She said yes, chocolate sauce but please write it down. At this point he got a bit narky and said, vanilla ice cream, choc chips and chocolate sauce, do you think I'm fuckingsenile woman? She said fair enough and off he popped to the kitchen. I was sittimg watching Tipping Point with the old lady and noticed he'd been gone about half an hour so gave him a shout. He came walking in with a plate of bacon and scrambled eggs and me and the old lass turned to look at each other as she said, he's forgotten my fuckingtoast! 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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