Guest Glasgow Owl Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 it's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the amount of fight in the dog....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJMortimer Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 That's disgusti... oh, varnish? As you were. "You dirty old man" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PopePiusX Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 "You dirty old man" Nice to see Judith looking so well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sten Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 Larging it in Dooley Suite with Owls accountants a few seasons ago and met Nick Hancock of much jolliment and laughter in 'They Think It's All Over'. I can categorically say he's the most dull, boring man I've ever met. Shows how scripted the programme is. Was the year Stoke went up to prem, 1-1 at our place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
US_Owl Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 (edited) Was playing golf with Zigor Aranalde a few weeks back, we were meant to be doing a "Four Ball Best Ball" with Danny Maddix and his brother but they didn't turn up. Anyway, while we were waiting, p*ssing about on the practice putting green, Brian Deane strolls over, carrying Tony Agana on his back in a LittleLife Child Carrier. "Alright benders" he says, eating a Wham bar and casually twirling a yo-yo up and down. "See my mate over there?" He points to Jan Fjortoft, casually throwing his balls between leather-gloved hands and leaning on the bonnet of an old Astra. "He reckons he's the best golfist around here. We play you, Stableford Styl-ee, winner takes all. "What's the prize then?" I say to him. "You win, we leave this golf course forever, and it's your turf. We win, you leave, and I get to shag you girlfriend here" Deane whispered, pointing menacingly at Zigor. The Spaniard took a long draw on his cigarillo, adjusted the peak of sombrero, and growled in reply "Done" We won obviously, despite Fjortoft cheating like a b*stard and Deane constantly harassing Zigs (pinching his arse etc.) Agana noisily s*it his nappy on the 13th, putting Fjortoft off a crucial putt. They argued like a couple of gays over Alan Carr's pants. After the game, we slow clapped them off the 18th and past the clubhouse, and they stomped off like scalded children, Agana needed changing again too so Deane was mega-cross. We finished the day by meeting a very-late Maddix and his brother (Lloyd Owusu) for a few sherbets and a curry. Ended up back at mine watching old wrestling DVD's and listening to Drissa hammering a couple of hotties in the bathroom. Great times. Edited August 10, 2012 by US_Owl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrickyTrev Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 Have to admit I love stories like Kivo's, I'm sure we've all got one similar. I remember as I left Hillsborough after the Palace match, walking up Leppings Lane I got a text from a pig fan I know proper rubbing it in. Fast forward 12 months and I was sat on my back garden in the sunshine with a beer in my hand listening to the dingles hammer the final nail into their relegation coffin. I did think about letting him leave the ground before I returned the favour but then thought better of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beano Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 Danny was telling me about that the other day US. Sounds like a mental day. Gutted I missed it but had to take the Cosworth for a spin with Geary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hdan450 Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 Hahahahaha I really enjoyed reading that haha, absolutely brilliant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
US_Owl Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 Danny was telling me about that the other day US. Sounds like a mental day. Gutted I missed it but had to take the Cosworth for a spin with Geary. Geary does my head in now. Do you know he carries a picture of Alan Quinn in his wallet? Weird. Anyway, Zigs is nipping back over next weekend, going to have a bbq and invite the Maddix's up, i'll PM you the details. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beano Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 No I didn't, although he has turned weird since his cat died. Sounds good, cheers mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rustyfunk Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 Was playing golf with Zigor Aranalde a few weeks back, we were meant to be doing a "Four Ball Best Ball" with Danny Maddix and his brother but they didn't turn up. Anyway, while we were waiting, p*ssing about on the practice putting green, Brian Deane strolls over, carrying Tony Agana on his back in a LittleLife Child Carrier. "Alright benders" he says, eating a Wham bar and casually twirling a yo-yo up and down. "See my mate over there?" He points to Jan Fjortoft, casually throwing his balls between leather-gloved hands and leaning on the bonnet of an old Astra. "He reckons he's the best golfist around here. We play you, Stableford Styl-ee, winner takes all. "What's the prize then?" I say to him. "You win, we leave this golf course forever, and it's your turf. We win, you leave, and I get to shag you girlfriend here" Deane whispered, pointing menacingly at Zigor. The Spaniard took a long draw on his cigarillo, adjusted the peak of sombrero, and growled in reply "Done" We won obviously, despite Fjortoft cheating like a b*stard and Deane constantly harassing Zigs (pinching his arse etc.) Agana noisily s*it his nappy on the 13th, putting Fjortoft off a crucial putt. They argued like a couple of gays over Alan Carr's pants. After the game, we slow clapped them off the 18th and past the clubhouse, and they stomped off like scalded children, Agana needed changing again too so Deane was mega-cross. We finished the day by meeting a very-late Maddix and his brother (Lloyd Owusu) for a few sherbets and a curry. Ended up back at mine watching old wrestling DVD's and listening to Drissa hammering a couple of hotties in the bathroom. Great times. Owlstalk classic Cheers. That has made my morning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
US_Owl Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 Owlstalk classic Cheers. That has made my morning No problem Might rouse myself from my torpor and do another Career in Pictures this afternoon..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark$ide Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 A couple of years ago when we were relegated we played United near the end of the season, the 'we'll never play you again' game. After the game an old school mate spotted me at Hillsborough Corner (I say mate - he was actually a fat shuffleer who used to pick on me cos I was a scrawny kid who supported Wednesday - the term 'pick on someone your own size' was invented for this thrower). He came over with a smug look on his face and screamed in my face "You're going DOWNNNNN", which brought snorts of delights from his Burberry wearing neanderthal mates. I never forgot that moment, partly because of the foam and spittle that entered my respiratory system, mostly because he was your typical pig - that will have been the only game he went to that season. Anyway, I know he still lives in the village but I haven't seen him for a while. Until this morning. On my way to the Post Office, I saw in front of me a bloke, *** in one hand, twin pram in the other, with a 1990's United shirt the one with diamonds instead of stripes) stretching round his rotund gut. I was willing him into the Post Office as that was where I was headed - and my wish came true. I got the drink I was after and made sure I alligned myself alongside him at the till - me at the shop counter, him at the Post Office counter. I was just about to pipe up when he muttered "Can I put this giro in my current account please" to the woman. Then he turned round and saw me - without saying a word he turned back round and started sifting through the bargain bin full of out of date Monster Munch next to him. "Looking forward to the new season?" I asked, pointing to his shirt. "Oh ey up mate, haven't seen you for a while - nah i'm not too bothered any more, I haven't been for years, it's a mugs game" he responded. "I'm sure I saw you at Hillsborough a couple of years ago?" "Oh yeah, I went with our *insert relatives name here* for a laugh i think". "Weren't you at the play-offs this year too? I saw your Facebook pictures on the pitch against Stevenage." "Yeah tickets were only a fiver so I thought i'd tek kids to their first game, you know" (By this time he's finished getting his money and trying to leave) "Yeah, they need to taste the atmosphere don't they mate. Didn't you go to Wembley as well? *insert name of Blade who ran a bus from Kivo* said you went down with them?" "Yeah, went down for the day, went on wee wee all day - I knew they'd lose cos they always do" "Never mind *insert dickheads name*, you might get us in the cup yet". He walked out muttering "you never know". For a usually restrained lad, I was quite proud of the conversation. Personally i would have just said remember what you said at the Palace game ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve_maclean Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 I once bumped into Brian Laws (when he was manager) at Selfridges in Manchester.... Made myself look a prize pillock, we'd beaten QPR at home the night before so I casually shouted, 'great result last night pal' to which he smiled and said 'cheers'.... That wasnt the end, I was in uni at the time and with a friend, and i said to him 'ive got to get a photo, so i awkwardly waited around waiting for my moment to pounce. He blatantly kept looking at me stood about 5 metres away routing through girls PJs, (in my defence i was just trying to look inconspicuous).... Then the moment arrived, his wife moved away and I chirped 'any chance of a pic Brian?!', to be fair he was more than accommodating, my friend lined us up for the snap and just as he pulled the trigger the battery died, his wife who'd watched what was going on came over and saved my embarrassment kindly volunteered to take the picture on her phone and then sent it to me.... The urge to ring her after Brian helped us to the derby double and congratulate him was immense but i resisted. Top bloke & Top Bird t'old Mr and Mrs Laws. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eaton_Swfc Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 Kivo ... you shold have just burst into the post office singing "THIS CITY IS OURS" at top of your voice, and then casually just gone, "oreyt mate, WAWAW" like you do it all the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAL Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 Bit of a downgrade that. Didn't even know BL had worked at Selfridges, never mind be a manager. You live and learn every day . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IstillhateSteveBould Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 I don't know how relevant this is, but a mate of mine (who's a pig) once had a fight with Curtis Woodhouse in town. After about 5 mins of rolling around and trying to cave each others face in, they were knackered and just decided to shake hands and go their seperate ways. It wer funny as flip. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
US_Owl Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 Managed to get this pic on the first tee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
US_Owl Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 Sorry for hijacking your thread Kivo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KivoOwl Posted August 10, 2012 Author Share Posted August 10, 2012 Please, carry on. (Really, carry on) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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