PopePiusX

On the subject of Dutch wingers who occasionally displayed real talent, let much of the game pass them by and then turned to a bizarre musical career, here's Glenn Helder playing the drums

A local player for local people

That's you in the spotlight, losing your religion

Not being big-headed, but I'm the Elephant Man

Benito Carbonated

Troy?

An pot-holed road surface of a man, ripe for tarmac. I tell you who definitely cares about what Richard Keys has to say: Richard Keys.

I met Steve Harmison at a game between Knaresborough and North or South Shields (I forget which), as his brother Ben was playing and he was, at the time, banned from attending Ashington matches after some sort of fracas whilst he was managing there. He did not want to talk about cricket at all, but talked so much about football that we were trying to get away from him in the end. Nice bloke, about as suitable to manage a PL club as Wincey Willis.

I thought they'd signed Dave Benson Phillips

I like it, but I also don't give a sh*t. Hope this helps.

He can sod off

It's odd, Benito Carbone is seen as a mercenary and Di Canio as a misunderstood genius, when Carbone contributed far more to us than Di Canio did.

Other German Wednesday players include Chris Beard-Williams, Steve Pumpernicol and Jerry Jung (for two)

Well, their European games were often on Sportsnight; I remember the floodlight failure game against Milan, where Waddle beat half of the team and then fell over. Also, Waddle is held in an extremely high regard by Marseille fans,