Steven Rumbulus Harkness.
Created out of clay and meat and fur by a wizard. Made 11 appearances for the mighty Owls, every single one bizarrely against the Republic of Ireland. And all resulting in draws. Has the honour of being the only Wednesday player to have his shirt directly applied to his body, the hallowed blue n' white stripes being tattood onto his loose, flapping skin by the ghost of Patrick Blondeau. The Chupa Chups logo and club badge were drawn on later in lipstick.
After being bitten by a rabid Danny Sonner in training he retired from the game and the pair now live together in a small flat above Thomas the Bakers in central York, eating misshapen flapjacks from the bins and selling neoprene Scott Oakes masks online.