room0035 Posted November 13, 2018 Share Posted November 13, 2018 14 hours ago, Lord Snooty said: It's nothing to do with money, and it's nothing to do with injuries. If the injuries are even real of course. Some are fake because of contracts issues, some are faked by players with the monk on and the rest are just made up by the puppet manager. Anyway. Whatever is going off behind the scenes we have in recent days really seen a wave of calls for the managers head. A few names have been put forward and many requirements listed. So having collated the must have qualities that the most vociferous exponents of managerial change have listed in many recent threads I have inputted all of your wishes into the Owlstalk super computer database. Ticking all the boxes required -: We need a manager who won't have his strings pulled. We need a manager who is passionate , animated in the technical area We need a manager who talks the talk in the press conferences. We need a manager who knows this division We need a manager who has been promoted from this division. We need a manager who knows the lower league bargains We need an Englishman! We need someone will bawl the players out when needed Must play attacking football even at the risk of losing Must want to come here Must have an understanding of Northern culture After the machine stopped buzzing and whirring It has found a man who ticks all the boxes required to pass the Owlstalk wish list, and even better hes now abailable too! Ladies and Gentlemen... scientifically picked ...your number one option Phil Brown! ANIMATED IN THE TECHNICAL AREA! AND PROMOTIONS IN ENGLISH FOOTBALL!! NO ARMS FOLDED HERE OR QUIET WORDS IN THE DRESSING ROOM GIVES UNDER PERFORMERS BÒLLOCKINGS WE CRAVE! SHOUTS! SHOUTS A LOT INFACT AND ....SHOWS PASSION! IS ENGLISH....AND NORTHERN! (flat cap optional) AND KNOWS THE DIVISION! NO MORE DULL PRESS CONFERENCES WITH THIS GUY! This is the man who once told the gathered hacks that he talked a woman down from throwing herself off the Humber bridge one morning whilst taking his team for a walk. Thing is with stuff like that. When you say there were 18 witnesses ...its usually best that you're telling the truth. Turned out it was a complete and utter lie! Still. More interesting than. "We have prepared well", "player X will be back in two weeks" and "The lad who was ruled out for 5 years last week won't be back this weekend, no" Get him in DC, the manager who ticks all the boxes! Does it show my age that I remember chock a block Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
room0035 Posted November 13, 2018 Share Posted November 13, 2018 Don't worry guys by the time DC makes a decision we will be able to get this guy in, attacking football, proven championship record, a foreign manager and out of a job. (coming soon to a football team near you) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tarn owl Posted November 13, 2018 Share Posted November 13, 2018 Any chance you can turn the machine off and on again, I think it's broken. The question might as well be what is the meaning of life because you can not please everyone. Also watch out for Russian hackers, it might kick out Kanchelkis or Arshavin as our next manager. Or hackers from across the city, oh wait they can't figure out that technology. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hookowl Posted November 13, 2018 Share Posted November 13, 2018 5 minutes ago, tarn owl said: Any chance you can turn the machine off and on again, I think it's broken. The question might as well be what is the meaning of life because you can not please everyone. Also watch out for Russian hackers, it might kick out Kanchelkis or Arshavin as our next manager. Or hackers from across the city, oh wait they can't figure out that technology. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OWLERTON GHOST Posted November 13, 2018 Share Posted November 13, 2018 44 minutes ago, room0035 said: Don't worry guys by the time DC makes a decision we will be able to get this guy in, attacking football, proven championship record, a foreign manager and out of a job. (coming soon to a football team near you) Dont mean to be picky Roomy. But why would we want a manager someone else deems as unsuitable ? Just remember we defeated "his" team on their home ground last season . And his "Premier bound Premier laden squad" took all of nearly 80 mins to score against our "stickytaped makeshift bunch" last April . I like the cut of his suits though. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelowl Posted November 13, 2018 Share Posted November 13, 2018 1 hour ago, Hookowl said: kin ell them trainers really do it for me 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hookowl Posted November 13, 2018 Share Posted November 13, 2018 2 minutes ago, steelowl said: kin ell them trainers really do it for me Didn't notice them I only saw the blue and white kit 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lythamowl Posted November 13, 2018 Share Posted November 13, 2018 what trainers....? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simaniac Owl Posted November 13, 2018 Share Posted November 13, 2018 16 hours ago, OWLERTON GHOST said: Not true. We of The Cult of Megson join willingly. HIS presence alone attracts people to HIS Cult. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
room0035 Posted November 13, 2018 Share Posted November 13, 2018 49 minutes ago, OWLERTON GHOST said: Dont mean to be picky Roomy. But why would we want a manager someone else deems as unsuitable ? Just remember we defeated "his" team on their home ground last season . And his "Premier bound Premier laden squad" took all of nearly 80 mins to score against our "stickytaped makeshift bunch" last April . I like the cut of his suits though. But we are not looking for a Premiership manager we are looking for a manager with experience of the championship, experience on managing on a low budget, experience of promotion from the championship and one who is cheap. He ticks all the boxes, add to that he also seems to give youth a chance and seems very adept at getting good loan players in, from his playing days he has good links with bigger teams. His teams also play an entertaining brand of football, not park the bus and hope for the best Compare his cv to Jos and tell me which manager you would prefer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hookowl Posted November 13, 2018 Share Posted November 13, 2018 10 minutes ago, Simaniac Owl said: Not true. We of The Cult of Megson join willingly. HIS presence alone attracts people to HIS Cult. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sonofbert2 Posted November 13, 2018 Share Posted November 13, 2018 2 hours ago, Hookowl said: 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OWLERTON GHOST Posted November 13, 2018 Share Posted November 13, 2018 5 minutes ago, room0035 said: But we are not looking for a Premiership manager we are looking for a manager with experience of the championship, experience on managing on a low budget, experience of promotion from the championship and one who is cheap. He ticks all the boxes, add to that he also seems to give youth a chance and seems very adept at getting good loan players in, from his playing days he has good links with bigger teams. His teams also play an entertaining brand of football, not park the bus and hope for the best Compare his cv to Jos and tell me which manager you would prefer You are massively missing the point here it's not what I want or you want or anyone else wants .. The nut you have to crack is And until you do this we aren't going anywhere!!! his ball his rules and there's nowt you can do about it ....... Personally however I would ask Stuart Gray back to work with Jos and balance the offset in salary by getting shut of Bullen. I will put the cones out for nowt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
room0035 Posted November 13, 2018 Share Posted November 13, 2018 6 minutes ago, OWLERTON GHOST said: You are massively missing the point here it's not what I want or you want or anyone else wants .. The nut you have to crack is And until you do this we aren't going anywhere!!! his ball his rules and there's nowt you can do about it ....... Personally however I would ask Stuart Gray back to work with Jos and balance the offset in salary by getting shut of Bullen. I will put the cones out for nowt I would love Stuart Gray to get a far crack of the whip So presumable DC will be looking for someone from the Romanian or Poland next, Brexit cannot come quick enough for us as it may stop a lot of the foreign managers being able to get a work permit. I noted that the article below about unknown coaches not such why Eddie Howe is included but he is doing a great job at an unfancied team. maybe the first few names on the article though may fit DC remit https://www.telegraph.co.uk/football/2018/05/25/10-managers-nobody-linking-vacant-jobsbut-should/ But completely left field Paul Heckinbottom, Steve Cotterill, Lee Clark, Alan Pardew, Or do we copy Sheff utd and get a Wednesday fan such as Richie Barker , Steve Haslam who know more likely we will do nothing slip further toward the bottom 3 then spend the rest of the season fighting relegation pay £40 a game to watch it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OWLERTON GHOST Posted November 13, 2018 Share Posted November 13, 2018 Stopped reading up to Stuart Gray ... The rest is supposition. .. Did glance that you put Pardew in the mix ..... You need to go and lay down in a dark quiet room .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hack-Abusi Posted November 13, 2018 Share Posted November 13, 2018 BRILLIANT OP! @Lord Snooty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sonofbert2 Posted November 13, 2018 Share Posted November 13, 2018 56 minutes ago, room0035 said: But completely left field Paul Heckinbottom, Steve Cotterill, Lee Clark, Alan Pardew, That list deserves at least a week's ban. 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OWLERTON GHOST Posted November 13, 2018 Share Posted November 13, 2018 5 minutes ago, sonofbert2 said: That list deserves at least a week's ban. I was trying to be nice to him when I suggested he lie down somewhere dark n quiet. ... But you put it so more eloquently Bertie ...... Nice shot of you tugging BTW... That gif of hookys is the first one I've used a magnification aid to zoom in so as not to pixilate .... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
room0035 Posted November 13, 2018 Share Posted November 13, 2018 34 minutes ago, sonofbert2 said: That list deserves at least a week's ban. we have no money we need to go cheap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OWLERTON GHOST Posted November 13, 2018 Share Posted November 13, 2018 1 hour ago, room0035 said: we have no money we need to go cheap. There's cheap And then there's Alan Pardew ........ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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