Popular Post Mr. Tom Posted January 19, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted January 19, 2019 and all through S2 Lots of creatures were stirring, as worried as poo Their stockings were hung by the outhouse, quite soiled Wednesday's man would be here soon! Dem Blavges' fun was spoiled! Their more evolved neighbours slept snug in blue beds As verses of 'On Our Way' trilled in our heads Dejphon in Owls jim-jams, Katrien in home socks (Abdi in traction, two weeks, just a knock); When out on the Desso arose such a clatter The groundsman ran out to see what was the matter He raced down that tunnel like Owlerton track Afraid that those troublesome Twin girls were back; The moon on the cheeks of his barenaked rear Should scare them off sharpish, he thought, never fear! Instead, to his utter amazement he spies A two-seater Bentley all laden with pies; And a driver all slathered in chocolate mousse He knew in a moment it must be St. Bruce. With pace and great crosses his Owl coursers came And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name; "Now, LEES, son! now, LUCAS! FERNANDO and FLETCHER! On, BAZZA! on PALMER! on, FOX, BOYD and HECTOR! To the Leppings Lane end! and now back to the Kop! Attack, boys, attack! Dev squad if you stop!" As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly The turnstiles span like they ne'er at the Sty And under the South clock the SIDDARN gang bounced As all-comers were seen off, summarily trounced; And then, in a twinkle, the Stir were a-tweeting They'd always believed our bad times were just fleeting Quite shameless were they in their sudden U-turn Buy who cares, in midwinter it's summat to burn; And Lo! on the back page stands Steve, so majestic His training top tarnished with Beres and Nesquik A host of promotions atop his CV But hungry for one more wi' SWFC; His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry! His cheeks were like roses! his nose bloody scary! His droll little mouth was all greasy with mutton (A Barbadian delicacy, lad's a glutton; The stump of a wicket for picking his teeth, 'Cos he'd been at cricket the previous week;) He had a tanned face and a massive round belly That shook when he gave half-time teamtalks some welly; He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old gaffer And we cheered when we saw him, and Bully, and Aggers A wink of his eye and a twist of his head Soon gave us to know we had nothing to dread; He spoke stirring words, in a light North East twang And we Praised more than Grumbled, stopped booing and sang And laying his finger aside of his beak He promised us workrate and movement each week; He sprang from the dugout, to his team gave a whistle Up the table we flew like the down of a thistle And we heard him exclaim, 'ere we scaled the top six HAPPY BRUCEMAS TO ALL, AND THE GRUNTERS ARE D**KS. *Shush, he'll be on Skype for Chelsea UTO, let's give Steve-o a smooth landing by smashing these Wiggum oiks 24 2 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BRADDO Posted January 19, 2019 Share Posted January 19, 2019 Indeed. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Tom Posted January 19, 2019 Author Share Posted January 19, 2019 Just now, BRADDO said: Indeed. Breakfast shandy! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BRADDO Posted January 19, 2019 Share Posted January 19, 2019 1 minute ago, Mr. Tom said: Breakfast shandy! Oh yes. I did read it all. Honest. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Tom Posted January 19, 2019 Author Share Posted January 19, 2019 9 minutes ago, BRADDO said: Oh yes. I did read it all. Honest. For some reason it had to be the same length as the actual poem. Not quite sure why. Or why it had to exist at all. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbo48 Posted January 19, 2019 Share Posted January 19, 2019 Top stuff, Mr T 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Tom Posted January 19, 2019 Author Share Posted January 19, 2019 Just now, Ibbo48 said: Top stuff, Mr T Haha, cheers ears Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doghouse Daz Posted January 19, 2019 Share Posted January 19, 2019 Brilliant, absolutely genius. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Scarlett Posted January 19, 2019 Share Posted January 19, 2019 Brilliant work there. Top stuff. Lets hope it comes to pass. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The only way is S6 Posted January 19, 2019 Share Posted January 19, 2019 Beres & Nesquik ffs?! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Tom Posted January 19, 2019 Author Share Posted January 19, 2019 Just now, The only way is S6 said: Beres & Nesquik ffs?! He's not bothered mate, have owt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mkowl Posted January 19, 2019 Share Posted January 19, 2019 Is it a bit pedantic to say there is today and the Chelsea game before Bruce officially starts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Snooty Posted January 19, 2019 Share Posted January 19, 2019 Love it! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The only way is S6 Posted January 19, 2019 Share Posted January 19, 2019 Just now, mkowl said: Is it a bit pedantic to say there is today and the Chelsea game before Bruce officially starts Next week doesn't count. It's just a big day out for us lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Tom Posted January 19, 2019 Author Share Posted January 19, 2019 25 minutes ago, Captain Scarlett said: Brilliant work there. Top stuff. Lets hope it comes to pass. Well of course it will now I've written this, otherwise it would've qualified as an indefensible waste of time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mkowl Posted January 19, 2019 Share Posted January 19, 2019 Fair enough rather us go to cause an upset. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Tom Posted January 19, 2019 Author Share Posted January 19, 2019 (edited) 15 minutes ago, mkowl said: Is it a bit pedantic to say there is today and the Chelsea game before Bruce officially starts Asterisks are your friend Edited January 19, 2019 by Mr. Tom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mkowl Posted January 19, 2019 Share Posted January 19, 2019 Just now, Mr. Tom said: Asterisks are your friend * *Noted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roaminowl Posted January 19, 2019 Share Posted January 19, 2019 Started reading. Obsessed with the pigs. I'm out. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Tom Posted January 19, 2019 Author Share Posted January 19, 2019 7 minutes ago, roaminowl said: Started reading. Obsessed with the pigs. I'm out. Fair. They only get two mentions, but fair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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