Matchday Improvements

[GoldGigsChris]

2 things for me would certainly improve my match day experience:

 

1) Waiter Service (proper posh butler type waiters)

2) A commode so I didn't have to trudge to the toilet at half time

 

Additional extras to improve would be:

 

1) Mr C catapulting bundles of cash into the stands once a month.

2) Kelly Brook doing a striptease or a pole dance at half time

3) Machines what squirt out lavender or some other sweet fragrance every time somebody farts

4) Heated seats during October-February

5) Polite catering staff who know how to count above 10

 

There are others but this will do for the time being.

 

You're off your rocker. There's no way we're going to get polite catering staff.

[Cersei]

Heated seats for me too.

That would be worth 40 quid.

[Pompeyowl]

I'd rather Tango covered up a bit, to be honest!

 

Does he wear tassles?

[Greenhgate Owl]

What them twins from the Barnsley game doing these days ?

That was my best thing ive seen at Hillsborough

[eguin]

The ladies toilets feel like there's damp setting in.

 

Are mens the same?

that's because they keep missing the toilet and hitting the floor

[coopswfc76]

What them twins from the Barnsley game doing these days ?

That was my best thing ive seen at Hillsborough

I'll 2nd this 😀

Get twins back.

[Paolo Coopio]

2 things for me would certainly improve my match day experience:

 

1) Waiter Service (proper posh butler type waiters)

2) A commode so I didn't have to trudge to the toilet at half time

 

Additional extras to improve would be:

 

1) Mr C catapulting bundles of cash into the stands once a month.

2) Kelly Brook doing a striptease or a pole dance at half time

3) Machines what squirt out lavender or some other sweet fragrance every time somebody farts

4) Heated seats during October-February

5) Polite catering staff who know how to count above 10

 

There are others but this will do for the time being.

 

Post of the season 

[darklord]

Why not look at the Romans, they were great at entertainment.

Gladiatorial combat. Toytown fan v a grunter. One armed with an action man, the other with a gammon.

Or Semedo takes on a crush of rhinos.

Chariot racing but using fiat unos and vauxhall novas.

Edited January 9, 2016 by darklord

[VictoryBell]

A long post... really the solution boils down to one thing:

Strippers, and lots of them. 

Well, that's sensible thinking but would not be allowed for several good and compelling reasons that I don't agree with.