A Little Ditty from 2006

[Guest JoeClash]

Friday Late Afternoon…

A pint at the station and my 4 pack of McKewans in my bag as I board the 4:05 train Dundee to Newcastle.
Nice journey and my cans were giving me a nice warm glow outside and inside...until the train pulled in at Berwick and the oldish lady sat opposite me sent my just opened can flying as she got her bag off the rack.
Beer was all over and everyone else sat at the table got a beer soaking apart from me...which was nice.

Pulls in at Newcastle and I get on the train to Seaham where my mate ‘Lionel’ (In the mid eighties he had his hair permed + mulleted like Lionel Blair and the names stuck ever since) picked me up.

He’s Liam Lawrence’s Step-Dad and greets me with ‘Do you want the good news or bad news?’

‘Bad news’

‘The bad news is Liam’s starting tomorrow in his natural position against yers’

‘What the flip’s the good news then?’

‘The good news is for ‘us’...Liam’s starting tomorrow in his natural position against yers’

Gets to Liam’s house and the boy wonder warmly greets me then says ‘I’m gonna score a hat-trick tomorrow , Muz’ with a cheeky grin.

Get’s showered and changed then Liam drops us off at his local on the outskirts of Sunderland in his navy blue Porche and returns home for an early night.Soon as I get in the pub I’m introduced to the owner, a big friendly bloke called Aidey who asks if Iv’e had owt to eat, then tells me to sit down and he’ll sort it.
Half an hour later he comes back with a big Stottie Cake filled with chicken and hot stuffing on a plate with big fat chips n gravy, which was wolfed and washed down with a gallon of Guinness.
I bought a pint over the bar for Aidey as a gesture of goodwill.

Lionel tells me that over the years all our local top teams from Forest to L**ds have been sniffing round Liam apart from Wednesday, who Liam has a soft spot for after his junior club was invited down to the Luton v Wednesday in the early 90’s when Sheridan scored THAT free kick.
Even then Liam stood out as a star player who was obviously going to make it as a Pro, but no one from Wednesday ever got in contact with him yet they must have known how good he was.

We get back to Liams house about 1:30 slightly inebriated, and trying to find some more booze but there was none apart from a couple of bottles of wine…which we opened. About an hour later Lionel goes to bed but he turns off all the lights and 10 mins later when it’s my turn im in the pitch black and can’t find any switches. I manage to find my room but due to my drunken state Iv’e now lost the sense of direction and I was trying to shut what i thought was the bedroom door , but it was the Wardrobe door and I couldn’t understand why it wouldn’t shut so I goes to bed and 2 minutes later Liam comes thru and puts the lights on
‘Are you alrate Muz ?
‘Aye im sound, Lionel left me in the dark and I couldn’t find door, sorry to wake you up mate’
‘Naah that’s alrate, I thought you was trying to have a pish in the wardrobe’ he says with a grin on his face.
to be continued.......

Saturday.
I wake up at nineish not feeling too bad considering what we had to drink and I sit down to a monster breakfast that sets me up for the day.
Lionel says that Liam likes to have a full 12 hour sleep before a match day and he doesn’t get up before 11...

Oops, I then told him about what happened and that it was his fault for turning all the lights out.

Lionel drops me off just past the bridge in Sunderland and I find the Companions Club no bother.
It’s a beautiful day with not a cloud in the sky so I sit outside the Club with mi shades on waiting for it to open at 11:00.
It gets to 11:10 and it’s still not open so I decide to find a pub that’s not too far away and I see one called The Terminus.

I walks in and orders a pint and I notice a dozen or so blokes a little older than me, all with baldy heads and Stone Island gear. At first I thought they were Wednesdayites until I heard the accent and I thought I’d better play it safe, and sat in the opposite end of the pub behind a recess.
I had passes for the Players Lounge before and after the match so I had a smart shirt with a small Wednesday badge, and shoes on.
Later on in the pub at night Liam’s next door neighbour asked me where I went for a drink before the match…

‘The companions club mate’

‘Oh aye, it’s champion in there but it gets a little packed tho’

‘Yeah, I nipped into a little pub before that tho called The Terminus’

‘You went in The Terminus ?’

‘Yeah, it looked a little rough’

‘A little flippingrough! Mate that’s the roughest, hardest pub in the North East even I wouldn’t go in there for a pre match drink, not even if it was the only place open. You didn’t have any badges or colours on did you?’

‘Yeah I had a badge, but I was on my own minding my own business’

‘Well all I can say is that they couldn’t have seen your badge cos if they had , in their minds, they would have thought you were talking the wee wee, and it’s a wonder you didn’t end up with a knife sticking out your side, you’re a very lucky man’

I’d have laid em all out anyway

Anyway’s gets in the companion’s club and see’s Mork n LiamH then Tommo comes bouncing thru from the toilets.
Judiff and Tracey, Hoyland and the Beasties,Jonnyboy join us later and a good few pints were consumed, when it came to my round the queue was that big it took me 20 mins to get served even then I forgot to get JF’s pint, sorry mate, I would have gone up the wall if you did that to me .
Oh aye I met Spenny and Baldy Bouncer for the first time, good lads.

I tried to get in our end cos somebody reckoned there was a cash turnstile but I just had to get my free ticket and my free programme and sit just behind the home dugout with a perfect view of Roy Keane, the man has got a way with him just in the way he walks if nowt else.

Liam says when they are in the dressing room and you can hear him coming the whole room goes silent and you hang on to his every word.

The match has been well documented in other threads so I’ll not bother discussing it, but I was very disappointed with our performance, and inside the Players Lounge I didn’t recognise anyone really apart from Stan Varga who played for Celtic.

Liam came up after half hour and we was stood just outside the door ready to go when KPS walked thru the door said ‘Hiya’ then quickly scampered downstairs for his interviews.

The first thing Liam said when he saw me was ‘good following from Wednesday’

He reckoned our support was the best he’s heard there apart from Newcastle, he also said "there was a bit of fighting as well wasn’t there?

I looked up when the WHO ARE YER chants started and I saw a few being dragged away by the Cops.
His neighbour said later, the lads arrested were Sunderland who tried to jump over the Stewards line when they scored.

I wasn’t going to post this next bit in case any of our lot get offended, because you had to be there really to find it funny...

When the teams were lining up for the 2nd Half a Sunderland player looked in me and Lionel’s direction, Lionel points at me and the Sunderland player discreetly points at our half and does the coffee bean shake before bursting into a big grin.

We gets back to Liam’s house and I ask him if this shirt would be ok for t’neet..

’Gi-us it here and I’ll run an iron over it’ which goes to show he’s still the same good hearted lad he’s always been.

When we get to the pub, Aidey puts out some posh rolls filled with Thai chicken bits for us... now the drinking can start.

I played it smart by getting the first round in for the 3 of us and Liam’s girlfriend and her Dad which come to £9 odds and gradually the company got bigger over the next few hours and Lionel’s round was £29...which cracked me up!

A Sunderland player, his parents and bird joined us about 11:00ish after their meal and after an hour or so the singing started, initiated by yours truly who wailed a line of ‘Black Velvet Band’ before the Sunderland player and his dad joined in wholeheartedly and that was it for the next 3 hours, no music , just singing and banging the tables for a beat and one of the best nights out I’ve ever had.

When we eventuly got chucked out about 3:00ish, me and the Sunderland player were doing an Irish jig in the street whilst waiting for the Taxi’s and he warmly shook my hand and called me a great fellah…so is he, and I’ll follow his career as well from now on.

Woke up at 9:00 am feeling great, with no hangover, or I could have been still pished, which was probably true, and me Lionel travelled down south.

This weekend will be one I will never forget and many thanks to Lionel and Liam for making it possible.

FIN

 

   

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Edited May 10, 2015 by JoeClash

[PopePiusX]

Ditty? What tune's it to?

[Señor Sam]

 

Friday Late Afternoon…

A pint at the station and my 4 pack of McKewans in my bag as I board the 4:05 train Dundee to Newcastle.

Nice journey and my cans were giving me a nice warm glow outside and inside...until the train pulled in at Berwick and the oldish lady sat opposite me sent my just opened can flying as she got her bag off the rack.

Beer was all over and everyone else sat at the table got a beer soaking apart from me...which was nice.

Pulls in at Newcastle and I get on the train to Seaham where my mate ‘Lionel’ (In the mid eighties he had his hair permed + mulleted like Lionel Blair and the names stuck ever since) picked me up.

He’s Liam Lawrence’s Step-Dad and greets me with ‘Do you want the good news or bad news?’

‘Bad news’

‘The bad news is Liam’s starting tomorrow in his natural position against yers’

‘What the flip’s the good news then?’

‘The good news is for ‘us’...Liam’s starting tomorrow in his natural position against yers’

Gets to Liam’s house and the boy wonder warmly greets me then says ‘I’m gonna score a hat-trick tomorrow , Muz’ with a cheeky grin.

Get’s showered and changed then Liam drops us off at his local on the outskirts of Sunderland in his navy blue Porche and returns home for an early night.Soon as I get in the pub I’m introduced to the owner, a big friendly bloke called Aidey who asks if Iv’e had owt to eat, then tells me to sit down and he’ll sort it.

Half an hour later he comes back with a big Stottie Cake filled with chicken and hot stuffing on a plate with big fat chips n gravy, which was wolfed and washed down with a gallon of Guinness.

I bought a pint over the bar for Aidey as a gesture of goodwill.

Lionel tells me that over the years all our local top teams from Forest to L**ds have been sniffing round Liam apart from Wednesday, who Liam has a soft spot for after his junior club was invited down to the Luton v Wednesday in the early 90’s when Sheridan scored THAT free kick.

Even then Liam stood out as a star player who was obviously going to make it as a Pro, but no one from Wednesday ever got in contact with him yet they must have known how good he was.

We get back to Liams house about 1:30 slightly inebriated, and trying to find some more booze but there was none apart from a couple of bottles of wine…which we opened. About an hour later Lionel goes to bed but he turns off all the lights and 10 mins later when it’s my turn im in the pitch black and can’t find any switches. I manage to find my room but due to my drunken state Iv’e now lost the sense of direction and I was trying to shut what i thought was the bedroom door , but it was the Wardrobe door and I couldn’t understand why it wouldn’t shut so I goes to bed and 2 minutes later Liam comes thru and puts the lights on

‘Are you alrate Muz ?

‘Aye im sound, Lionel left me in the dark and I couldn’t find door, sorry to wake you up mate’

‘Naah that’s alrate, I thought you was trying to have a pish in the wardrobe’ he says with a grin on his face.

to be continued.......

Saturday.

I wake up at nineish not feeling too bad considering what we had to drink and I sit down to a monster breakfast that sets me up for the day.

Lionel says that Liam likes to have a full 12 hour sleep before a match day and he doesn’t get up before 11...

Oops, I then told him about what happened and that it was his fault for turning all the lights out.

Lionel drops me off just past the bridge in Sunderland and I find the Companions Club no bother.

It’s a beautiful day with not a cloud in the sky so I sit outside the Club with mi shades on waiting for it to open at 11:00.

It gets to 11:10 and it’s still not open so I decide to find a pub that’s not too far away and I see one called The Terminus.

I walks in and orders a pint and I notice a dozen or so blokes a little older than me, all with baldy heads and Stone Island gear. At first I thought they were Wednesdayites until I heard the accent and I thought I’d better play it safe, and sat in the opposite end of the pub behind a recess.

I had passes for the Players Lounge before and after the match so I had a smart shirt with a small Wednesday badge, and shoes on.

Later on in the pub at night Liam’s next door neighbour asked me where I went for a drink before the match…

‘The companions club mate’

‘Oh aye, it’s champion in there but it gets a little packed tho’

‘Yeah, I nipped into a little pub before that tho called The Terminus’

‘You went in The Terminus ?’

‘Yeah, it looked a little rough’

‘A little flippingrough! Mate that’s the roughest, hardest pub in the North East even I wouldn’t go in there for a pre match drink, not even if it was the only place open. You didn’t have any badges or colours on did you?’

‘Yeah I had a badge, but I was on my own minding my own business’

‘Well all I can say is that they couldn’t have seen your badge cos if they had , in their minds, they would have thought you were talking the wee wee, and it’s a wonder you didn’t end up with a knife sticking out your side, you’re a very lucky man’

I’d have laid em all out anyway

Anyway’s gets in the companion’s club and see’s Mork n LiamH then Tommo comes bouncing thru from the toilets.

Judiff and Tracey, Hoyland and the Beasties,Jonnyboy join us later and a good few pints were consumed, when it came to my round the queue was that big it took me 20 mins to get served even then I forgot to get JF’s pint, sorry mate, I would have gone up the wall if you did that to me .

Oh aye I met Spenny and Baldy Bouncer for the first time, good lads.

I tried to get in our end cos somebody reckoned there was a cash turnstile but I just had to get my free ticket and my free programme and sit just behind the home dugout with a perfect view of Roy Keane, the man has got a way with him just in the way he walks if nowt else.

Liam says when they are in the dressing room and you can hear him coming the whole room goes silent and you hang on to his every word.

The match has been well documented in other threads so I’ll not bother discussing it, but I was very disappointed with our performance, and inside the Players Lounge I didn’t recognise anyone really apart from Stan Varga who played for Celtic.

Liam came up after half hour and we was stood just outside the door ready to go when KPS walked thru the door said ‘Hiya’ then quickly scampered downstairs for his interviews.

The first thing Liam said when he saw me was ‘good following from Wednesday’

He reckoned our support was the best he’s heard there apart from Newcastle, he also said "there was a bit of fighting as well wasn’t there?

I looked up when the WHO ARE YER chants started and I saw a few being dragged away by the Cops.

His neighbour said later, the lads arrested were Sunderland who tried to jump over the Stewards line when they scored.

I wasn’t going to post this next bit in case any of our lot get offended, because you had to be there really to find it funny...

When the teams were lining up for the 2nd Half a Sunderland player looked in me and Lionel’s direction, Lionel points at me and the Sunderland player discreetly points at our half and does the coffee bean shake before bursting into a big grin.

We gets back to Liam’s house and I ask him if this shirt would be ok for t’neet..

’Gi-us it here and I’ll run an iron over it’ which goes to show he’s still the same good hearted lad he’s always been.

When we get to the pub, Aidey puts out some posh rolls filled with Thai chicken bits for us... now the drinking can start.

I played it smart by getting the first round in for the 3 of us and Liam’s girlfriend and her Dad which come to £9 odds and gradually the company got bigger over the next few hours and Lionel’s round was £29...which cracked me up!

A Sunderland player, his parents and bird joined us about 11:00ish after their meal and after an hour or so the singing started, initiated by yours truly who wailed a line of ‘Black Velvet Band’ before the Sunderland player and his dad joined in wholeheartedly and that was it for the next 3 hours, no music , just singing and banging the tables for a beat and one of the best nights out I’ve ever had.

When we eventuly got chucked out about 3:00ish, me and the Sunderland player were doing an Irish jig in the street whilst waiting for the Taxi’s and he warmly shook my hand and called me a great fellah…so is he, and I’ll follow his career as well from now on.

Woke up at 9:00 am feeling great, with no hangover, or I could have been still pished, which was probably true, and me Lionel travelled down south.

This weekend will be one I will never forget and many thanks to Lionel and Liam for making it possible.

FIN

 

   

    Increase Topic Rating 

 

Cool story Bro'

[Señor Sam]

Ditty? What tune's it to?

The Who I think.

[sage owl]

I'll forgive you the poo story for your username.

[Guest JoeClash]

Ditty? What tune's it to?

Ditty,Story ?... thought it was the same thing till you made me google it. I bow at your feet for forgiveness for my stupidity oh Wise One.

[Guest JoeClash]

I'll forgive you the poo story for your username.

Oh well...ADMIN PLEASE DELETE THIS THREAD.

[PopePiusX]

Ditty,Story ?... thought it was the same thing till you made me google it. I bow at your feet for forgiveness for my stupidity oh Wise One.

 

It's alright pal. Topper Headon's Dad taught my girlfriend, y'know.

[Guest JoeClash]

It's McEwans, NOT McKewans .........

Crucify me !

[GY-owl.4]

Hi Joe.

 

since this is the name dropping thread, ive had breakfast with mickey mouse. 

[FuthaMucker]

I quite enjoyed this tbf. Needs more dragons tho

[PopePiusX]

I've written a rival story, it's just as good
.

 

This one time I was at a pub in Bassingtree and who should walk in but former Luton striker Lars Elstrup.

 

'Hello, Mr Elstrup' I said but it turned out it wasn't him at all. How embarrassing.

[PopePiusX]

Bloody hell, I've just read Lars Elstrup's Wiki:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lars_Elstrup

"In 1993, Elstrup had doubts about his footballing future, as he felt he was living under the expectations of others.^[4] He joined a spiritual sect, and took the spiritual name "Darando", meaning "The River that Flows". He moved away from the sect in December 1999 after being arrested for punching a school child.^[5] In January 2000, Odense gave Elstrup a chance to re-enter professional football by giving him a trial, but he left the club soon after when the club refused to pay him during the trial.^[6] He now lives in Vissenbjerg, and stays out of the public eye."

[Guest JoeClash]

Hi Joe.

 

since this is the name dropping thread, ive had breakfast with mickey mouse. 

Why lie ?

[Guest JoeClash]

Bloody hell, I've just read Lars Elstrup's Wiki:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lars_Elstrup

"In 1993, Elstrup had doubts about his footballing future, as he felt he was living under the expectations of others.^[4] He joined a spiritual sect, and took the spiritual name "Darando", meaning "The River that Flows". He moved away from the sect in December 1999 after being arrested for punching a school child.^[5] In January 2000, Odense gave Elstrup a chance to re-enter professional football by giving him a trial, but he left the club soon after when the club refused to pay him during the trial.^[6] He now lives in Vissenbjerg, and stays out of the public eye."

Ooooh ...You are a one !

[Guest JoeClash]

It's alright pal. Topper Headon's Dad taught my girlfriend, y'know.

Is your Girlfriend 63 ?

[PopePiusX]

Is your Girlfriend 63 ?

 

Yeah, and she looks just like Bob Dylan.

[Guest JoeClash]

..It is Bob Dylan !

[Guest JoeClash]

I'll forgive you the poo story for your username.

Ive had a few drinks, and i do tend to get a bit whimsy. I used to run the site SWFC - A Certain Romance many moons ago and i came across this old piece  tonight so i thought i'd share it. Shame there's not many as whimsical as me on here.

Edited May 11, 2015 by JoeClash

[PopePiusX]

I'm not sure it's technically a 'shame'.