match report

[Guest westyorkshierowl]

I have never walked down the tunnel of Wembley nor touched the famous Anfield sign but driving down the M62 to Oldham was my moment, my moment to reflect on glorious promotion and the start of a season brimming with promise. The Macdonalds waitress getting my order completely wrong ruined my moment.

Oldham’s car park gets worse every time I see it but this time it is baked in glorious sun and not puddles of mud or frozen ice. Local steward, not a day older than 100 tells me there waiting for old Joe Royale to arrive and have a spot reserved for old ‘Big Head,’ however my smallish size head is allowed to park alongside, perfect spot for a quick getaway when this game is at an end. Wierd not seeing 2,000 people looking like in the stands but perhaps those day’s may return, not soon tho, not soon. Respect GM, you’re a big part of this success.

Antonio’s name read out, a big cheer, it was worth the wait, you’re here to stay old friend and glory awaits you. Pecnik in Centre Midfield? Amado, Prutton where art tho? In DJ we trust and with boots brighter than the floodlights it’s instantly clear this boy has talent and a haircut to match. Let’s get this party started.

Reda, Reda, Reda 3 minutes in and a needless reckless challenge, I love your spirit son but the kid was going no-where, you’re going to strike fear into wingers everywhere this season but not from the changing rooms. Limps away, what a warrior, I love this fella.

This is not going to plan, it’s one way traffic and men against boys. The defence ripped to pieces at every attack and a goal is almost inevitable, and there it is, way too easy. Regroup, minor blip, let’s go. This is not going to plan, it’s one way traffic and men against boys. The defence ripped to pieces at every attack and a goal is almost inevitable, and there it is, way too easy, 2-0. The best part of the season was 30 minutes ago when we had dreams and every player was a hero. Our foreign centre midfielder hasn’t touch the ball, DJ’s been sold a ringer here, how much did we pay for Antonio?, is he playing? JJ, well, is JJ. Was told Maguire plays like a terrier, seen a lot of poo poosu but not much else, he’s a bit tubby isn’t he? Madine the goal machine, the striker non too keen, off, injured. COG takes the pitch, he would be a real handful if he could pose a goal threat. Great flick on straight away, the poo poosu in full flight, nooooooo what a chance, we need a striker and quick. poo poosu gets subbed, every dog has his day, not today, we’ll forget this performance quickly and give you plenty more opportunities, we’ve seen your goals for Pompey and Scotland on Youtube, you’ll be fine.

Hang on, no way, Giles Coke ‘the’ Giles Coke. Amado, Prutton, an injured Linesy where art tho? Fair play we’ve started to come into this, 2-0 down what have we got to lose. Oh that’s right Pecnik time-wasting and booked, must keep hold of this 2-0 defeat, ref you clown. Antonio IS playing afterall, picks up a rebound and a blatant penalty. Life line. Haha, yup, let the foreigner take it, foreigners never miss penalties, not with these boot. Oh. Worst.Debut.Ever.

So 2-0, of course, 4 texts, reminding me some unfortunate souls aren’t Wednesday are they. Please be better this half boys, I’ve missed Geordie Shore repeat for this. I love Charlotte.

And we are better, Pecnik, wow what a player, more space than a Astrologists dream, pulling strings. We have wingers after-all and how many muscles does COG have, if I was gay, he would be my dreamboat. Dodgy hair mind. Pecnik edge of box, scramble, falls to JJ, bosh, get in, JJ with a strike on target. This season is weird already.

Chris Kirkland, take a bow son, great saves at 2-0 and 2-1 to keep us in this.

A free kick edge of the box, remember Huddersfield? yup, well nothing like that but get the Spaniard over, they know how to take a free kick. What a flimsy free kick, power man, power……….headed in by COG, sorry, my bad. 2-2, amazing. Let’s get the 1^st bounce of the season going, oh yeah.

All one way now, am I saying this, Giles Coke has been immense, not missed a pass, is literally everywhere and has transformed this team. No, seriously.

It’s only a matter of time, JJ drills in another cross, sticks like glue to COG, swivel you gorgeous beast, swivel, GET IN, haha, we’ve found a 30 goal a season-er. You can stick your Ricky Lambert up your arse. Unbelievable scenes celebrating amongst empty seats, shame on you watching this on TV, we were here when COG and Coke were re-born.

Antonio, unbelievable pace and power down the left, that would have been an awesome goal, loops up, anyone but JJ, anyone but JJ, please, volley - high and wide. When will you learn composure? Antonio, what a signing. He’s off again from a great ball, cuts inside, oh that is sensational, Milan, talk about an investment, just fantastic. 4-2.

6000 Wednesdayites at Derby on Saturday, I can’t wait. What a season this is going to be.