Popular Post Lord Snooty Posted April 19, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted April 19, 2022 (edited) "Evening Norma, he's expecting me." "Good evening Snooty. Yes, he's in. But I must warn you, that he's eating a pizza" "I've seen him eat before, don't worry, dear" "No, but this one is a special curry pizza. I didn't want you to think he'd gone completely mad and was eating dog muck off a cheese base." "Oh..oh I see..." ****** "I'm here Hargreaves, what is it you want? Don't you know I'm busy of an evening doing the match thread" "Ahh. The match thread. Nice of you show up for once" "I beg your pardon!" "Last weeks no show. Can't have it. Letting the punters down" "A man is allowed a holiday. Crikey, you let Taz have one for five years" "Yeeaaah. Not a bad idea that. But listen, I've not called you here to talk about other people. It's you. You need to pull your finger out. It's just not on." "Need, I remind you that while we talk of pulling fingers out, I'm still waiting for my Furlough!" "Small details. Now listen..." "Good God!" "What?" "For a minute I thought it was David Bellamy" "Stop changing the subject. Now, listen I don't want to let you go.." "Let me go! You mean..the sack?!" "No, listen , I said I don't want to ,and.... being the sort of boss I am. A cool one, one who doesn't eat breakfast or believe in suits, I'm going to put you on a help plan rather than sack you" "What!" "Personal Improvement Support Scheme" "A....a....a P.I.S.S plan? Are you taking it?" "Certainly not. You've got all the work to do now. Germanbird has come in and has a 100% track record of wins doing the OMDT. That's the sort of quality I could use on this site" "Well yes quite, but..." "Your own ratio is down at 44%, quite poor I think you'll agree" "Play the game Hargreaves, I had Luhukay and Monk to contend with , and the withering goalscoring husk of Jordan Rhodes" "Enough with the excuses! It's a take it or leave it contract. You're on a monthly review where your performance levels will be looked at." "Now hang on, I'm your best login, none of your others have had the longevity I've had." "True. You have been one of my better ideas. And that is why I'm giving you this chance . I'll have my assistants watch your every move. Like on The Apprentice" "Oooh, will I be getting shadowed by Karen Brady? I've always thought she was a bit of a sort." "No." "Bugger, is it Claude?" "You'll be judged at 9:30 on a Tuesday and 4:45 on a Saturday......by the Match Day section residents " "What?! The f*cking Suicide Squad! Half of them would hang a man when the teams come out at half past two!" "Right. Now off you trot and , don't forget. I'll be watching" "Well are you at least going to ring me a cab?" "I can do better than that" ********** "A bloody E-scooter I tell you, Stubbs. Through Upperthorpe . At night. On a Bank Holiday Monday evening. Anything could have happened to me. It's a wonder I'm still alive. The mans lost all leave of his senses I tell you. Curry on Pizza he was eating when I got it there! Did I mention that. Curry on Pizza!" "He does eat chip shop curry sauce instead of mushy peas with battered fish, sir. His culinary choices shouldn't surprise you by now" "Well no, but still. It's a bit rummy. And all this about a P.I.S.S plan. I mean, it's all a bit much. I have to say though, old German bird did a sterling job . I'll have to watch my step. Mind you, here, hang on, hang on a minute , blimey, I've just thought. All this threat about upping my game. What about this Brexit malarky" "Brexit, Sir?" "Well, I thought it was for saving jobs for entitled fatheaded Englishmen, y'know, stop them from being taken by better looking, better qualified, multilingual, harder working , succinct, professionals, far better suited to the role...if not for that, then what was it for?" "Well Sir, according to Ted in the tap room of the Mutton Dagger, it was mainly to stop Somalian Pirates coming here and using milk tokens to empty the local Budgens" "But Somalia isn't even in Europe , Stubbs. And I expect pirates have more plunder on their mind than sodding milk tokens." "Indeed ,Sir. But that's what we're dealing with" "My God. What a world we live in" "Shall we, ahem. Match thread ,Sir?" "No. You fool. This entire episode is about taking peoples minds off it. Trying to distract from the growing tension" "Oh. I see. Very good Sir. Very long winded" ************* "Tell me more Mr Hargreafffes, about zeez people that live in your head. Zis Snooty and his man servant also. You mentioned in our last session about a Penguin. And somevan callt ze Big Guns. How many of zem are zeh? Do they all vie for ze top spot,? All ze time zees voices. No vonder your head is spinning." "Oh, don't call me Mr Hargreaves, Doctor. Please. Call me GermanBird...Mwahahahahah!" ---------------------------------------------------- WEDNESDAY After winning nine of their previous 11 home games, Sheffield Wednesday will be confident that they can claim a third consecutive home victory on Tuesday. The only question marks really remain over selection where the Owls are once more starting to pick up some of the knocks and strains which have haunted them nearly all season. OWLS POSSIBLE-: ****************** CREWE ALEXANDRA The visitors, meanwhile, have three games left to play in their current two-season stay in League One, with Crewe's relegation already confirmed. David Artell was sacked following the defeat to Doncaster - which relegated the Railwaymen - with Alex Morris put in charge until the end of the season. Although they are heading through the trap door, Crewe received a much-needed boost on Friday when they beat AFC Wimbledon 3-1 to end a run of eight consecutive defeats. Crewe were trailing at half time against the Dons following Sam Cosgrove's 19th-minute strike, but they turned the game on its head in the second period, with Mikael Mandron, Chris Long and Bassala Sambou all scoring to help their side to just their third victory of 2022. Despite emerging victorious from Friday's encounter, the Railwaymen will enter Tuesday's game in pessimistic mood with the visitors currently holding the worst away record in League One. CREW POSSIBLE-: SOME STATS... COME ON WEDNESDAY! Edited April 19, 2022 by Lord Snooty ....FORMATTING 25 14 5 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post GermanBird Posted April 19, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted April 19, 2022 Thanks Milord Love it!!!! That's what I call a proper OMDT I believe it will be a scrappy 1:0 win, but I hope for a 6:1 Attendance 22837 Let's get the three points! UTO 10 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Snooty Posted April 19, 2022 Author Share Posted April 19, 2022 1 minute ago, GermanBird said: Thanks Milord Love it!!!! That's what I call a proper OMDT I believe it will be a scrappy 1:0 win, but I hope for a 6:1 Attendance 22837 Let's get the three points! UTO Thank you Hargre..erm, I mean, Germanbird! 1 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Stubbs Posted April 19, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted April 19, 2022 Man alive. Place is a madhouse. I trained at RADA you know. What a waste of time. I knew I should have taken the role of Pollard on Emmerdale when it came up. Even the plane crash that wiped out Archie was less preposterous than this guff. 14 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Sunburn Posted April 19, 2022 Share Posted April 19, 2022 3-0 to the good guys. Need the points and enough goal separation from hangers-on. Cement P5 at a minimum. Go Owls! UTO 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbo48 Posted April 19, 2022 Share Posted April 19, 2022 (edited) Genius Snoots !!: Dog turd on a cheese base !! I nearly wet myself Mind you Not surprising with my prostate. UTO though Edited April 19, 2022 by Ibbo48 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
new zealand owl Posted April 19, 2022 Share Posted April 19, 2022 Nice set of pie charts you got there Lord S. Lots of green for us and lots of red for them...that can only mean one thing, a tsunami of pebble dash brown all over the embarrassed faces of crewe Alexandra. Victory!!!! 2-1 in an utterly awful performance but the 3 points is all that matters! Phil King and bart-Williams for us and David platt for them. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post OneManBand Posted April 19, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted April 19, 2022 I'm glad they won their last game, otherwise we'd have no chance. 2 1 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OWLERTON GHOST Posted April 19, 2022 Share Posted April 19, 2022 Absolute Garbage !! ........ 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orlando_Trustful Posted April 19, 2022 Share Posted April 19, 2022 Can't see anything other than a convincing win today. 3 v 0 Wee Man (23) El Pato (67) MJ (73) 20,119 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FinnishOwl Posted April 19, 2022 Share Posted April 19, 2022 I'll predict a comfortable 2-0 win for us. Ze game isz on! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roscoe P. Coltrane Posted April 19, 2022 Share Posted April 19, 2022 THE WEDNESDAY 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BRADDO Posted April 19, 2022 Share Posted April 19, 2022 Wonderful Snoots. Come onnnnnnnnnnnn Wednesday 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GermanBird Posted April 19, 2022 Share Posted April 19, 2022 Remember: Free drinks today: https://www.swfc.co.uk/news/2022/april/owls-announce-blu-steel-shirt-sponsor/ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NobbyStyle Posted April 19, 2022 Share Posted April 19, 2022 Great OMDT Lord Snooty. Is delving into zee dark recesses of the Dressing Room section good for anybody’s soul? Curry Pizza & E-Scooters….! Surely a repeat performance from Saturday night is on the cards? 3-0 UTO 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bladeshater Posted April 19, 2022 Share Posted April 19, 2022 Up the owls 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
33 Posted April 19, 2022 Share Posted April 19, 2022 Well done Mi' Lud C'MON LADS UTO 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
latemodelchild Posted April 19, 2022 Share Posted April 19, 2022 Can't wait for tonight. Hopefully the players won't go into it thinking a win is nailed on, they need to be at it from minute 1. We need 3 points however they come. 4 games left, win all 4 and its a sniff at automatics. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willie Henderson Posted April 19, 2022 Share Posted April 19, 2022 Best OMDT yet I reckon, absolute class, the break did you good. Let's just hope you can up your game to match German Bird. What a game tonight, hit them hard and fast, rack up a score and send out a message loud and clear - we're getting out of this tin pot league. Come on Wednesday! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A47Owl Posted April 19, 2022 Share Posted April 19, 2022 Well your Lordship, hope you take Hargreaves warning and up your game. GermanBird has been faultless. I did suggest that he/she take over the reins for OMDT at least until the end of the season but he/she declined. I liked your latest rendering until the end and quoted the stats. Fortunately Crewe's recent win has avoided us being the scapegoat of ending a losing run. Good luck for the rest of the season. If we get promotion I will vote that you keep your job. You're in. Oh hang on wrong programme. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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