Popular Post Lord Snooty Posted November 2, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted November 2, 2021 (edited) "I'll tell you what Stubbs, I don't much fancy this one much, I mean to say it's...wait a minute. Who the hell are you!? And where's Stubbs?" "Oh yeah. I'm the new apprentice chef innit" "What?" "Chef, you know. Do the cooking and that" "Where is Stubbs?" "At this actual minute , like?" "Yes, of course at this actual minute. When else would I mean when I say "Where's Stubbs?" "Ye ye ye, I getchoo. He's actually at this minute, like, cleaning the stables." "Cleaning the stables? Cleaning the sodding stables. We have a girl who clears the stables. Wonderful job of it she does too." "Yeah. But she's been dropped innit. And Stubbsy boy doing it now" "By order of who!" "The new Estate manager ,n'that. He says he knows best what we is all good at" "Right. I'm not having this. I'm off to see this oaf. Press me a pair of trousers and get my cuff links and..." "I dunno how to press trousers. I mean, I'll have a go and that. But..nah man. I aint done no trouser pressin before." "Well what are you good at?" "I'm pretty good at club sandwiches and my pastry is getting a lot better, you get me?" "Right, well, go and make me a sandwich then" "Nah, you aint listening. I dont go in the kitchen no more. The gardener is in there now" "The gardener, Mr Wilkins? He doesn't know the first thing about cooking!" "Yeah, he said that to the gaffer too. Said he'd be better in the garden and leaving Cook in the kitchen showing me the ropes" "Too right. And what did the manager say?" "He said he'd soon get the hang of it. He just needed to spend some time in the larder. IT would help him get his volume in" "Get his volume in? What the bloody hell does that mean?" "To be honest bruv, no one knows" "Well, it certainly explains why last nights plum duff looked, tasted and had the density of a piece of coal." "Yeah. Mr Wilkins didn't want to serve it to be fair to him. He left it in the oven two hours too long. He was saying it was the most horriblist thing what he'd ever seen on a plate" "He was right!" "But the gaffer just said it was ok. It was burnt n'that. But for the first 15 minutes or so, it looked all right" "Really..." "Ye ye ye, thats what he said. Then Mr Wilkins said he dint want to do no more cooking" "Good." "But the manager , he just looked at him, y'know with this really, like, focussed look in his eyes, and said "We go again" "Right. That's it. I'm sacking the sod. I'm not having this. You go and fetch cook and you two get back in the kitchen. Send Mr Wilkins out to the garden hut and get Stubbs in from the sodding stables. This house might be a decrepit ruin but we can at least having people doing the jobs they were trained to do. FFS" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Wednesday -V- Sunderland EFL League One Kick Off 7.45pm Hillsborough Two of League One's giant clubs clubs with big stadiums for the third division go head to head on Tuesday evening in search of three points, Wednesday hosting Sunderland at Hillsborough . The Owls are looking for the winning formula to turn draws into wins after recording four in a row against the footballing powerhouses of Cheltenham, Lincoln City , Cambridge and AFC Wimbledon. The visitors are looking for a response after their 5-1 hammering by Rotherham United on Saturday. It's almost as if having a lot of fans doesn't count for anything on the pitch isn't it? ------------------- WEDNESDAY -------------------- Massimo Luongo and George Byers will remain unavailable after a couple of months out, but the duo did make it through a "volume building" run out during the U23's drubbing by Sheffield United. them down the road. Sam Hutchinson has suffered a setback during his recovery from injury . As for those that are fit; well your guess is as good as mine. --------------- SUNDERLAND -------------- Denver Hume may remain unavailable depending on the results of his scan after he was forced off against Queens Park Rangers in the cup last week. He was forced to sit out the defeat at Rotherham, as did Nathan Broadhead, who suffered a setback in his recovery and is expected to return against Mansfield Town at the weekend. McGeady will serve his one-match suspension after his red card on Saturday, with Lynden Gooch possibly deputising in his place. ---------------------- FORM GUIDE ------------------------------------------- Edited November 2, 2021 by Lord Snooty Formatting 15 10 5 54 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charles Clegg Posted November 2, 2021 Share Posted November 2, 2021 Just choked on my cocoa reading this! 1 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post S36 OWL Posted November 2, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted November 2, 2021 Roll up for the latest edition of Moore`s team tombola 3 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edmontonowl Posted November 2, 2021 Share Posted November 2, 2021 Westwood up front? God this season is depressing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
new zealand owl Posted November 2, 2021 Share Posted November 2, 2021 Manager under pressure, mid week home game, half decent opposition, we all know how this is going to end. I feel the Darren moore nadir is going to unfold over these 90 plus painful minutes. 6 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nevthelodgemoorowl Posted November 2, 2021 Share Posted November 2, 2021 So tell me this, where is who ? Who is Who ? What d'ya mean who is Who; Who is on first Base. Such a shambles so much so we're going to keep this unbeaten run going. You watch if we don't. Managed to rustle up his Lordship a foot long breadcake, buttered with 8 x one and half inch slices of peppered Black Dag that should keep him going for a bit ! As for the match ? The Box for me again ! 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quinnssweetshop Posted November 2, 2021 Share Posted November 2, 2021 No idea what to expect, all i know is we won't score easily. The quarterback, we've been missing all season, will be found selling pies on the Kop, chansiri convinced there's more margin in that than winning the game. So it's over to his Son again to leave us guessing at the formation. HMS PTL has been re commissioned into an old aged diesel Submarine , it leaks and sinks fast. Up The Owls CHANSIRI OUT !!!! MOORE OUT !!!! And every fcker out that can't be arsed to play for the club. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quinnssweetshop Posted November 2, 2021 Share Posted November 2, 2021 2 hours ago, edmontonowl said: Westwood up front? God this season is depressing Worth a punt !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommyCraig Posted November 2, 2021 Share Posted November 2, 2021 Brilliant OMDT. On topic and decisive. Can you be our new manager Snoots? I'm so bloody tired of the ruined plum duff we get served on match days too. UTO 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roscoe P. Coltrane Posted November 2, 2021 Share Posted November 2, 2021 THE WEDNESDAY 5 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FinnishOwl Posted November 2, 2021 Share Posted November 2, 2021 Just brilliant, thank you Snoots I am so afraid of this one, Moore seems to get crazier by the minute with them ideas. 1-1 is my prediction, it will keep the circus going on for another game then. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
s73owl Posted November 2, 2021 Share Posted November 2, 2021 (edited) Quality read first thing, top work Snoots old chap Edited November 2, 2021 by s73owl 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmowl Posted November 2, 2021 Share Posted November 2, 2021 That line-up is brilliant Snoots. Looking forward to see what work of genius our enigmatic, misunderstood, eccentric manager comes up with. Who will save us from this meddlesome priest? 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drewswfc Posted November 2, 2021 Share Posted November 2, 2021 Bob on as usual Snoots. No idea of formation, no idea who'll play, no idea of score. UTO Moore out. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsHall Posted November 2, 2021 Share Posted November 2, 2021 MO. UTO. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwellOwl Posted November 2, 2021 Share Posted November 2, 2021 Great post! Lord knows what will happen tonight. No pointing predicting but just get the 3 points!! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charles Clegg Posted November 2, 2021 Share Posted November 2, 2021 43 minutes ago, Holmowl said: "....... who will save us from this meddlesome priest?" Careful what you say Holmowl. Look what happened the last time those words were uttered. We don't want blood-soaked data and analysis sheets and a cult of St Darren. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bladeshater Posted November 2, 2021 Share Posted November 2, 2021 Come on the Wednesday 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willie Henderson Posted November 2, 2021 Share Posted November 2, 2021 Lord Snooty, you have surpassed your previous surpasses with this one. Absolutely brilliant, extra pithy with an added squirt of vitriol. A great way to start the day at least, a day that will end in a familiarly dismal way I'm guessing. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The only way is S6 Posted November 2, 2021 Share Posted November 2, 2021 Excellent analogy your grace, loving the quarterback & obsolete wingers around the line-up Absolutely no idea about selection, formation, tactics or result ( I’m not DM either) Head says they will bounce back after Rovrum debacle. Heart says we’re crazy enough to turn up & win. Don’t think squeaky Johnson has much luck at S6 if memory serves? Brizzle manager when K Lee got that late comeback winner, night of the storm & maybe Barnsley manager when we did a double over them? Anyway, 2-0 to us. Fk it. Let’s av em. UTO 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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