Maybe this is why there's a shortage of referees?

[darra]

Found this post on FB.

 

My 15 year old gives up his own time every Saturday to be a referee.  This morning was the last time. Today was his third game where a manager doesn't like his decision and has kicked off, 2nd time he's had to abandon a game because of it. Sadly he's decided no more. So just a polite request to managers. Please remember that the young referees are exactly that.....young! They give up their time to referee your matches!! There is no wonder that so many young referees quit, they don't deserve this abuse!! Respect your referee!

[poite]

Its football culture and it's pathetic. Grown men who can't see that the referee is a kid trying to gain experience in a very difficult and challenging role. 

 

Sometimes I dream of watching my son out there on the pitch. Other times I hope he never goes near one. 

[Maddogbob]

It's something you read quite regularly on the local Facebook grassroots pages. Huge shortage this season as well.

 

What's the answer?

 

For me sanctions on people that break the rules and better support for young ref's.

 

I believe the one I've posted comes from the girls Saturday league, just demonstrating that it's a problem across both forms of the game. 

 

Heard a story from a friend whos son was involved in a game that had to be abandoned recently after a u16 lad decided to make a racist remark, then decided he wanted to fight the lad he'd abused, the manager and finally the ref. That was 10 mins in.

 

Sunday I was watching my youngest, saw a lad elbow another kid in the face, with venom and spite, just because he was losing.... That was at u7. (Not his team btw). Manager refused to remove him from play, because they only had 5 and it was a cup final. Very little the ref could do imho. 

 

I'll be honest, it's getting worse out there and personally, with all the drama that goes with it, grassroots is increasingly not worth while, or it's certainly not worth the head space.

 

 

Edited October 18, 2021 by Maddogbob

[vulva]

One other reason for the shortage of refs is the growth in the girls game, which is excellent btw. 10 years ago there was hardly any grassroots female football. 

Grassroots football is a very strange world. But its the same as anything in that the small

minority can spoil it for the majority. 
 

Re refs, especially the young ones, they are often scared to give a decision. When you factor in some of these lads/girls are 15/16, that’s kind of understandable. I’ve actually seen very little ref abuse, and I do wonder sometimes if someone shouting ‘ref!’ after a decision is seen as a ‘abuse’ rather than just a natural football reaction. 
 

 

[Kopparberg]

Was playing a game once and the opposition manager was saying how bad the ref was, how he’s had him before and how he never gets any decisions. 
 

Turned out he was saying this the (young) refs dad and the ref had not even refereed that team before.
 

 

 

Football = a lot of Moaning 

[vulva]

Junior football brings together the 2 subjects everyone thinks they are an expert on. Kids. And football. 
 

Recipe for disaster. 

[latemodelchild]

My lad has played Sunday football since he was 6. Played for Sheffield boys and is currently playing for a side in the A division. Literally a game every week for the best part of 10 years, I've seen a lot of junior football at all levels. I think I can count on one hand the times a ref was blatantly biased towards a team. Those times stick out, especially the time the ref who had given a penalty for a foul that never happened then denied us a penalty when my lad was 2 footed in the back while through on goal, then went and celebrated with the winning side and lifted his own son aloft amongst the celebrations. That one stuck in my craw a bit. There's been 1 or 2 others at the most. 

 

On the flip side, I couldn't even count the number of times I've heard parents shouting and abusing the ref. I try so hard not to comment but sometimes it just comes out, especially when it's my son that has been fouled. I'm never abusive though, not my nature. Usually I just question the decision in a sarcastic manner but probably not quite loud enough for the ref to hear. The one time a ref did hear me I made sure to seek him out afterwards and apologise profusely, I felt awful. 

 

Generally refs make mistakes, they're human, it happens and there's nothing that can be done about it other than to roll with it and get on. 

[vulva]

15 minutes ago, latemodelchild said:

My lad has played Sunday football since he was 6. Played for Sheffield boys and is currently playing for a side in the A division. Literally a game every week for the best part of 10 years, I've seen a lot of junior football at all levels. I think I can count on one hand the times a ref was blatantly biased towards a team. Those times stick out, especially the time the ref who had given a penalty for a foul that never happened then denied us a penalty when my lad was 2 footed in the back while through on goal, then went and celebrated with the winning side and lifted his own son aloft amongst the celebrations. That one stuck in my craw a bit. There's been 1 or 2 others at the most. 

 

On the flip side, I couldn't even count the number of times I've heard parents shouting and abusing the ref. I try so hard not to comment but sometimes it just comes out, especially when it's my son that has been fouled. I'm never abusive though, not my nature. Usually I just question the decision in a sarcastic manner but probably not quite loud enough for the ref to hear. The one time a ref did hear me I made sure to seek him out afterwards and apologise profusely, I felt awful. 

 

Generally refs make mistakes, they're human, it happens and there's nothing that can be done about it other than to roll with it and get on. 

Absolutely this. It’s incredibly difficult not to call a ref out on what you perceive to be a bad decision. But there are ways to do it. I think there’s a direct link between VAR and abuse at grassroots. Everyone now is convinced they are right. My big issue with refs is more the training. They turn up 2 minutes before kick off , invariably not in the proper gear. The younger ones are clearly there for the £25 not the love of the game. No communication before or during the match.
 

 To me, the most important part of reffing is before the game. Speak to the players, even the supporters of necesssry and explain a few basics on how you will manage the game, and what things are expected. Get the basics right, and it makes the rest of the job easier. 

[Bannofan]

My mate who managed a grass roots side for a fairly successful club, packed it in for three main reasons

 

1. Abusive , disrespectful parents. Abusive towards him as a manager for not playing their little Archie from the start, abusive towards the referee,  and abusive towards their own sons if they thought they were 'embarrassing ' them somehow 

 

2. Never ending paperwok and reporting,  making the whole thing a full time voluntary job

 

3. Referee's blatantly cheating to get their own kids or mates kids results. Not all refs do it for the right reasons, and whilst having a go at 15 year olds isn't on, Referee's cannot be immune from scrutiny or disciplinary action. That is not good for the game at any level.

[Ellis Rimmer]

These coaches that take it too serious are absolutely bizarre people. When I played rugby we would not always have a referee so the coach would referee. Our coach (and usually most others) would always be biased towards the opposing team. I don’t know why they get so carried away in football about winning to the point where they need to be cheating or abusive. 

It starts from the very top, if FIFA and the FA allowed referees more power, the disrespect would stop (or they culprit would be reprimanded) and would filter down.

[ANDY]

This needs addressing from the top. Too many times professional players swarm around the ref. Shouting. Swearing etc. 

 

people see this and think it’s acceptable 

 

maybe if the pro’s had more respect for the ref then it would set a better example.  

[Maddogbob]

1 hour ago, Bannofan said:

My mate who managed a grass roots side for a fairly successful club, packed it in for three main reasons

 

1. Abusive , disrespectful parents. Abusive towards him as a manager for not playing their little Archie from the start, abusive towards the referee,  and abusive towards their own sons if they thought they were 'embarrassing ' them somehow 

 

 

This is a huge issue for me. One that's affected me the most, it grinds my gears. I've noticed it's more of an issue with the more successful clubs/teams I've been involved as a parent with either indirectly or directly.

 

Even had one manager last week telling me he had to ask a kid to leave the club leaving them a bit short, he was getting so much grief off his dad for not "starting". Probably more of a ploy to see how available mine was tbh as a replacement.(even that's annoying btw). IE I've asks **** to leave, is yours happy ATM.

 

However talking to another recently who was involved with another big local club, who stated he just doesn't give the parents chance to be a nightmare. Zero tolerance. Sets his boundaries, cross them. Your done.

 

I'd never take either kid away from the game, while the interest is there, but like I say, head space wise it's not worth it. When you take a step back.

 

Love watching it, don't care about winning all the time, but it's a brutal mistress at times. It should just be fun for all those involved. However when it turns it can get horrible. Ive seen to meny good people lost to the game and go through hell because of it.

 

 

Edited October 19, 2021 by Maddogbob

[Maddogbob]

2 minutes ago, ANDY said:

This needs addressing from the top. Too many times professional players swarm around the ref. Shouting. Swearing etc. 

 

people see this and think it’s acceptable 

 

maybe if the pro’s had more respect for the ref then it would set a better example.  

Id flip the thinking on it Andy, start with respect at the kids age group and filter it upwards.

 

Get them into good habits early.

[ANDY]

36 minutes ago, Maddogbob said:

Id flip the thinking on it Andy, start with respect at the kids age group and filter it upwards.

 

Get them into good habits early.

 

 

yeah

 

but they see it week in week out. Players effin and jeffin 

 

they don’t have this promble in rugby union. The players are respectful. Yes sir no sir. 
 

 

[punkskaphil]

1 hour ago, Bannofan said:

2. Never ending paperwok and reporting,  making the whole thing a full time voluntary job

 

 

Is that for cooking origami?

[Maddogbob]

36 minutes ago, ANDY said:

 

 

yeah

 

but they see it week in week out. Players effin and jeffin 

 

they don’t have this promble in rugby union. The players are respectful. Yes sir no sir. 
 

 

Actually at the lower age groups they are now having issues. Especially in rugby league.

[Ellis Rimmer]

Just now, Maddogbob said:

Actually at the lower age groups they are now having issues. Especially in rugby league.

League is more akin to football in culture

[owlinexile]

The parents should be banned from spectating if they can't mentally separate a kids football match from the FA Cup final for starters.

[Maddogbob]

8 minutes ago, Ellis Rimmer said:

League is more akin to football in culture

I don't know the difference mate tbh, league fans always seem reasonable when I've come across them though.

 

 

[Ellis Rimmer]

11 minutes ago, Maddogbob said:

I don't know the difference mate tbh, league fans always seem reasonable when I've come across them though.

 

 

Union is the one that nobody dare say a wrong word to the ref. League has more respect for ref than football, but can have a more abrasive crowd, I’ve know fan violence in league never with Union.