Popular Post Lord Snooty Posted October 16, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted October 16, 2020 "Stubbs, where are you?" "At the Nuns, Sir" "Well you need to come at once, we need to do the matchday thread" "I'm not allowed into your house, Sir." "Right, I'll come to yours" "You can't ,Sir. The new Covid restrictions won't allow it" "But what about the thread?!" "Well, why don't you come and meet me at the Nuns for supper, Sir?" "But I thought you said we couldn't go near each other? I'm not allowed to sit with you am I?" "We can sit 2 metres away though Sir and it will be quiet in the snug." "Well, can't you just come here and sit two metres away from me then?" "No, Sir." "Well why the bloody hell not?" "It seems you have to be buying something to sit in close proximity..." "Oh; oh I see. Right. Well. I'll see you in ten" "Would you like a drink ,Sir?" "Yes, do they have any Tanglefoot?" "No ,Sir. But they do have Boggtrotter I.P.A, Wangleweed I.P.A, Bunny Ears I.P.A, and the house ale..." "Oh, what's that?" "Funky Hop. I.P.A" "Get me a whisky" "Very good, Sir. Single or double?" "Pint" "Sir, I..." "I'm not taking chances in this cesspit Stubbs. I want my body proofing. There's kids over there playing pool! This place must be riddled with Covid. Right, anyway Stubbs, what's the crack with these new signings then. Can they play tomorrow?" "I'm presuming, Sir. The paperwork has all been completed and the boys themselves have been down at the training ground meeting everybody" " What do we know about them?" "We know that you once said Marriot was, and I quote "A tw*t" " Oh?" "He was the one who, again, in your own words Sir "grabbed Odubajos arms as they raced for a 50/50 and threw himself to the turf- the cheating tw*t." "Oh him. Was that him? Are you sure it was him? I thought that was some sort of chav player" "He's grown his hair out, Sir. But it's definitely him." "And we've signed him? Well....well...uhm...excellent!" "Excellent, Sir?" "Yes. Yes indeed. It's about time we had a bit of shithousery about us. We're far too nice a team and have been for far too long. We want a sneak who's going to get away with stuff. Foul someone and win the free-kick for themselves. Rip someone sleeve off their shirt and win penalty for themselves. Yes, we need more of it. Here' let me see him... come on show me , sit over here man..I can't see it from there" "Very well, Sir" "..... oh yes, Stubbs! Yes. I remember him now. Yes, yes, that's what we need. Look at him. Oh yes, he looks just the job. He looks a mardy little sneak doens't he. Look at those eyes . He's a niggler. Just what we need! Excellent. Haven't you got him in the famous blue and white stripes though , you know I don't like Derby" "I have this shot ,Sir. From today unveiling" "Wait a minute. What the God damn!" "What's wrong, Sir?" "What's wrong, Stubbs? What's wrong?! I'll tell you what's bloody wrong! Look at him! He's only been in the door 5 minutes and we've already managed to "nice him'" "Nice him,Sir?" "Yes, nice him. It's what happens when players come here. I've said it for years. We make them nice. The nastiness washes off here." "I'm sure that's not the case, Sir" "You're going to have to go down to Birmingham" "Birmingham? Why?" "You need to make sure he doesn't lose any of his niggle. Quick before it's too late. Get down there. Poke him in the eye or something. Keep him coiled and wound up" "But I've been drinking ,Sir, I can't drive" "It's ok , squeeze yourself onto a rammed passenger train." "It's only a one carriage train from here, Sir and it has to be advanced bookins, what with this Covid thing..." "Oh. Oh yes, we don't want you ending up in the clink. Hey, hang on a minute Stubbs. Hang on a minute. If you can't come to my house because you don't live there...I can't got to your house and we're all supposed to stay two metres apart from strangers..." "Yes, Sir..." "How come there's a bloody match on at all? I mean to say, how can you socially distance from an opposition striker when you're attempting to stick your finger up his rectum to put him off when they've got an attacking corner?" "I have no idea ,Sir" "Well these are the sorts of things the Government need to be thinking about! I mean, you can't have different sodding rules and what not. Here, and why aren't players wearing masks?" "Again, Sir I have no idea" "Bloody strong stuff this Stubbs, (hic) , I love you man, I do, come here and give me a hug" "Distancing Sir! Covid!" "Arrh hahahah, come here and give us a cuddle. I love you mate!" BIRMINGHAM CITY - V - SHEFFIELD WEDNESDAY Saturday 17th October CHAMPIONSHIP 15:00 k.o This Saturday, Birmingham City welcome Garry Monk's Sheffield Wednesday side as they hope to extend their four-match unbeaten streak. The Owls will be looking to put consecutive defeats behind them and get a result that will see them gain ground on those above them in the table. Though they can only boast one win from their first four, the Blues have shown sturdy form which has been largely fuelled by a stingy defensive record. City have only conceded three goals in their first fives games in all competitions, a trait that has been synonymous with Aitor Karanka's sides in recent times. As a result, Birmingham lie seventh in the table and will be eyeing three points against an inconsistent Sheffield Wednesday, ahead of a congested fixture run. City now have seven games in 21 days, including trips to Norwich City and Queens Park Rangers - a run of fixtures that will surely test their promotion credentials. Former Birmingham boss Monk brings his Owls to his old stomping ground on Saturday and will hope that the international break brings a change in form for his struggling side. It will be the second time Monk has returned to the Blues following his departure from the club in June last year, with the first meeting ending in a 3-3 draw. Wednesday have had a promising start to the season, having gained four points from their opening two fixtures, including a win over Cardiff City and a hard-fought draw against Watford, but have since slipped to two defeats from two. ********* TEAM NEWS Birmingham Former Athletic Bilbao favourite Mikel San Jose could be set for his Birmingham City debut. The 31-year-old is yet to feature for Aitor Karanka's men having only recently joined up with his teammates despite signing around three weeks ago. Jonathan Leko has also joined up with the first-team squad as he recovers from 10 months on the sideline following a serious knee injury. The Blues will hope Jeremie Bela is fully-fit once he returns from international duty with Angola, who played Mozambique in Portugal on Tuesday. Josh McEachran is the only long-term absentee. Birmingham City possible: (4-4-2) Etheridge Colin Dean Friend Pedersen Sanchez Clayton Sunjic Bela Hogan Jutkiewicz ********* Wednesday Boss Garry Monk will have to wait on the fitness of several first-team players, with reports suggesting that quintet Dominic Iorfa (hamstring), Liam Palmer (back), Tom Lees (groin), Izzy Brown (knee) and Liam Shaw (ankle) are all doubts for the game. With this number of absentees expected, defender Osaze Urhoghide may return and there is a chance new signing Aiden Flint may start but centre-back Chey Dunkley remains a long-term absentee with a serious leg injury. New Owls striker Jack Marriot insist he's ready to get straight into the action having had a full pre-season and been involved in League games for Derby. Sheffield Wednesday possible: (3-5-2) Dawson Urgohide Van Aken Borner Harris Luongo Bannan Dele-Bashiru Reach Windass Paterson COME ON WEDNESDAY 16 13 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
horny owl Posted October 16, 2020 Share Posted October 16, 2020 Brum 1 owls 0 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Snooty Posted October 16, 2020 Author Share Posted October 16, 2020 1 minute ago, horny owl said: Brum 1 owls 0 That's the spirit, Corky! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wexowl Posted October 16, 2020 Share Posted October 16, 2020 It was all going swimmingly until you named the team. 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
new zealand owl Posted October 16, 2020 Share Posted October 16, 2020 Make shift back line always equals glorious victory, I have no stats to back it up but an early set piece goal and kranky karanka will have no answer. A second goal late on to kill them off by our new striker mazza/marra/hotel to spawn the movie pun related headline 'Marriotts on fire' Thank you and good night 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pablo Bonvin Posted October 16, 2020 Share Posted October 16, 2020 An early OMDT milord. But now I’ll have nothing to wake up for tomorrow morning. The anticipation is gone. I may stay in bed till 5:00 then, thus avoiding any meltdowns during the game and also people in general. Sounds like a result. Up the Owls. Please. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doghouse Daz Posted October 16, 2020 Share Posted October 16, 2020 Reyt, we've got a few more ingredients for the promotion pie. Nah gerraht there and mix it. 0 - 10 to THE MIGHTY OWLS Marriott (3) Paterson (3) Windass (3) Rhodes (1) COME ON YOU BLUE AND WHITE WIZARDS 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
offalyowl Posted October 16, 2020 Share Posted October 16, 2020 (edited) Brilliant as always snoots, like the covid restrictions part, guess its the times we live in now. Anyway reckon we win 2 - 1 tomorrow, uto Edited October 16, 2020 by offalyowl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Utah Owl Posted October 16, 2020 Share Posted October 16, 2020 We've lost the last two? Thought we drew against QPR? 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doghouse Daz Posted October 16, 2020 Share Posted October 16, 2020 7 minutes ago, Utah Owl said: We've lost the last two? Thought we drew against QPR? He did have a pint of whisky at The Nuns Chuff to be fair. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Utah Owl Posted October 16, 2020 Share Posted October 16, 2020 6 minutes ago, daztheowl said: He did have a pint of whisky at The Nuns Chuff to be fair. Not sure I'd want to drink anything that originated in the Nun's Chuff! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neon Nick Posted October 16, 2020 Share Posted October 16, 2020 5 minutes ago, daztheowl said: He did have a pint of whisky at The Nuns Chuff to be fair. Probably why the OMDT came a bit early, if SWFC wins, he should do the next OMDT at exactly the same time, and drink a pint of the same whiskey, maybe it'll work...Wonder what sort of whiskey he drinks, probably one of those fancy Scotch issues, which cost more than our entire first 11. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BRADDO Posted October 16, 2020 Share Posted October 16, 2020 Excellent Snoots. Come onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn Wednesday! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gresh Posted October 17, 2020 Share Posted October 17, 2020 I've got a good feeling that we'll come away with a comfortable 0 v 2 win. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hitcat Posted October 17, 2020 Share Posted October 17, 2020 So a Jonathan Leko double it is then..... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morepork Posted October 17, 2020 Share Posted October 17, 2020 Thanks Snoots. I won’t bang on but the UK’s handling of Covid has caused me more embarrassment than any Wednesday result...... More tw@ts in the team, players that want to win at any cost, I love it. I won’t be watching, I find myself in Twizel of all places......still, I have a lovely view!! Come on Wednesday!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nevthelodgemoorowl Posted October 17, 2020 Share Posted October 17, 2020 wi'll bi reyt ! UTO & DTB NNN WAWAW COME ON WEDNESDAY ! (nnn) NEW NASTY NIDDLERS ! Brum 0-1 OWLS. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 17, 2020 Share Posted October 17, 2020 Nothing less than 4 points will do on Sunday Burton 0 Wednesday 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legendaryswan Posted October 17, 2020 Share Posted October 17, 2020 3 minutes ago, Sticky Micky said: Nothing less than 4 points will do on Sunday Burton 0 Wednesday 1 Thats the spirit i reckon by the end of the first rubber well definately be ahead 0-0 and chuck the kitchen sink in 2nd rubber,suprise them with a left field pincer movement,back it up with the big guns rolling through the centre at a set play or short corner and p;ay a backhand cross into the corner. I may have some raspberry tea to celebrate if the move comes off,I just feel so giddy tonight.I may have two what the heck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Posted October 17, 2020 Share Posted October 17, 2020 2 hours ago, Utah Owl said: We've lost the last two? Thought we drew against QPR? It felt like a defeat though? Surprisingly I think we’ll win today 1-0. I think 1-0 wins will be the story of our season if we manage to stay up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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