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A few posters have alluded to 'what happened at Christmas' as justification for our post-festive plummet down the league, but in the absence of anything tangible for the rest of us to go on, it seems it's time for us to indulge in that most traditional of Owlstalk pastimes: making sh*t up.

 

So let's hear your theories...

 

Did Hutchinson get caught with his todger in the turkey?

 

Maybe Monk gave Westwood a lump of coal in the squad 'secret Santa'?

 

Perhaps Fletcher strained himself with his overexuberant dance moves at the Christmas 'do'?

 

Or did Chansiri have one sherry too many and deliver a festive ear-bashing that there was no coming back from?

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Huge row in the camp about whether the Gavin And Stacey Christmas special was any good or not.

 

When we conceded twice at Stoke in injury time Lees told Dawson that even Smithy's rubbish new girlfriend would have saved that. Dawson said that Lees' defending was even worse than the Mrs Brown's Boys special, and the rest is history.

 

 

.

 

 

Edited by alanharper
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2 minutes ago, alanharper said:

Huge row in the camp about whether the Gavin And Stacey Christmas special was any good or not.

 

When we conceded twice at Stoke in injury time Lees told Dawson that even Smithy's rubbish new girlfriend would have saved that. Dawson said that Lees' defending was even worse than the Mrs Brown's Boys special, and the rest is history.

 

Now we're talking!

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Ha I can't believe you don't know what happened at Christmas, all of us know what happened at Christmas. It's like the most well known thing in the world ever what happened at Christmas, proper common knowledge. 

 

Go on someone other than me tell them. 

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There are two answers to this;

1. Things we know, GM told the players live on tv that many of them would be leaving at the end of the season. He then dropped Hutchinson and replaced him Pelepussy, dropped Westwood and replaced him with one of two less effective keepers.

 

2. The big secret thing, that only a few know about, but that exempts GM from any blame for what happened after Christmas. But they can’t tell you what it is because it’s a big secret.

 

Make your own mind up,

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Forestieri was left home alone in a hotel near the New York stadium, and all kinds of capers were had, involving gas burners, bricks on rope, Donald Trump, glue and nails, and chicken feathers:

 

Monk was on the coach "I think I've forgotten something"

Bullen: "Did you put the cat out?"

Monk: "Yeah of course I did Bulls"

Bullen: "Did you ring the cleaner and ask her about the funny smell in the bogs?"

Monk: "Nah, not that"

Bullen: "Well, what star sign are you?"

Monk: "FESSI"

 

He fainted, then couldn't give his usual inspiring team talk.

 

I can't be arsed from there, but that's pretty much the low-down.

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2 minutes ago, Plonk said:

There are two answers to this;

1. Things we know, GM told the players live on tv that many of them would be leaving at the end of the season. He then dropped Hutchinson and replaced him Pelepussy, dropped Westwood and replaced him with one of two less effective keepers.

 

2. The big secret thing, that only a few know about, but that exempts GM from any blame for what happened after Christmas. But they can’t tell you what it is because it’s a big secret.

 

Make your own mind up,

 

3. The EFL case against Wednesday started to gather pace shortly after Christmas. 

Might not be the only factor, but it clearly played a part.  

 

I also think Fletcher having the best hair transplant off all time and Bannan getting somebody's pubes stuck to his head must have caused irreparable damage in the dressing room.  

 

It's either/or 

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Hutchinson said the BBC adaptation of Julia Donaldson's The Snail And The Whale was the best one they had done since The Gruffalo. Monk, being a big fan of The Highway Rat, couldn't believe that Sam would overlook the voice acting talent of David Tennant and wanted him to apologise. Hutchinson was adament he was right and was quoted as saying "David Tennant is complete shit, they would have been better off using Tommy Wiseau" and so Monk threw his can of Wella Professional Performance hairspray hard at Hutch, only missing by a couple of inches and taking a chip out of his locker door.

 

Forrestieri was sat in the corner sniggering at the word Gruffalo. 

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We entered into a brutal game of cat and mouse again with Hull, this time as to who could have the most dramatic and desperate post festive season slump.

 

I think they won that one too.

 

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