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Chris Kirkland on leaving Sheffield Wednesday


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I've suffered from anxiety and depression for the vast majority of my life, as well as OCD. 

 

I get why people question it, as they see similarities of things they have been through and things that work for them or other people with a 'normal' brain function. The thing is, with what I've experienced is, no matter what logic, reasonable thinking, coherent thought you have, you just do not believe it. 

 

Chris says that it was his first time really away from home. He probably thought he could manage it easy enough, like loads of other people he probably knows. Thing is when you have a mental illness it then starts to throw doubt on every little thing. What happens if this happens? OK that's fixed, but what about this more outlandish thing? OK but what about this near impossible scenario. Ad nauseam. Every minute of every day. It's exhausting - add in a high pressured job and a long commute and you have more problems. 

 

Mental illness is an almost constant battle - it's like having a dodgy knee. Some days you can think this is fine, I don't know what my problem is, I'm better now no issues. Other days it is agony and despair. 

 

I'm glad Chris has spoken up, Sam Hutchinson in the past too. All I'd say is try to listen to what they are saying about their experience, and try to understand, rather than come up with logical solutions which they have probably ruminated on for hours before. 

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3 minutes ago, royalowlisback said:

Good post CalmJimmers, plus extra credit for the word 'ruminated'.

 

Please don't start me ruminating on whether I've used the right word kplzthx

Edited by CalmJimmers
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3 minutes ago, CalmJimmers said:

 

Please don't start me ruminating on whether I've used the right word kplzthx

We've been playing 5hitloads of scrabble lately, might try and get ruminate in there next time, but I don't think I would get away with kplzthx, though it would be a great score, get that bad-boy on a triple word score!

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39 minutes ago, FroggattOwls said:


No one has said that, people have questioned why on Earth he was doing a four hour commute when there were many other options as that was utter madness. 

Maybe being with his family was helping his situation and actually having to spend more time would increase his anxiety. From my understanding people who have mental health issues generally don't make the best decisions, what seems like a simple solution to us may not to them.

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I do think mental health issues can effect everyone no matter if they are rich or poor. It really is indiscriminate.

But do think being wealthy means you are much more likely to be able to afford better medical treatment and afford to take time off work to help you cope with your problems. This option is much less likely to be available to someone on a low income.

Of course no guarantee having expensive medical treatment will have an effect.

 

 

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No one has picked up on the point that when he reduced his commute, the issues still remained.

 

Clearly the commute didn't have anything really to do with it. Just one of many triggers, once removed something else triggered. Maybe he was thinking that he should feel better now he will closer to home, and the fact that he didn't made him even worse

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2 hours ago, Bakewell Owl said:

I personally have fortunately never suffered with anything like this, and I was in the "grow some balls and man up brigade" recently i have had a very close family member suffer, and i was lost as to what to do, to say i have changed my opinion is an understatement.

, my heart goes out to him

Couldn't agree more. Similar used to think load of rubbish, but have seen what MH issues can do to a person. Strips anything rationale away and leaves doubt, confusion and all sorts.

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1 hour ago, royalowlisback said:

Depression/mental health issues can hit anybody. Having loads of money helps pay the bills, but it doesn't fix what is bothering your brain.

 

I suffer from it occasionally, but have never really told anybody, cos I'm a bloke and that's what we do. When everybody around me is happy, it can be the worse time.

 

For example, when everyone is jumping around like loonies after we have won a big game (the play-offs, beating Man U at Wembley or whatever) I actually feel at my lowest, what else is going to compare to that feeling, that high?

 

Like most people who suffer from depression, I use humour to deflect it, nobody suspects the clown in the room is the most miserable one in there (although clowns, the child-catcher and Worzel Gummidge still scare me to death, even now - why did they think it acceptable for him to have interchangeable heads, plus I have an ex named Sally).

 

 

Thanks for posting, think this is how many feel.

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2 minutes ago, Harrysgame said:

Couldn't agree more. Similar used to think load of rubbish, but have seen what MH issues can do to a person. Strips anything rationale away and leaves doubt, confusion and all sorts.

 

I'm glad you and @Bakewell Owl have stepped forward and said this, and I genuinely appreciate your honesty.

 

It is really difficult to understand if you don't have first or second hand experience of it. That's why it is so important for people with mental health issues to speak up and share experiences with everybody. And hopefully people try to understand. 

 

I know of 2 men who have committed suicide within the past 12 months. Nearly every man I know say they have felt really down within the past 12 months, as in don't want to keep going. How crazy is that? How scary is that? Many women I know too, but suicide seems to be more prevalent in men.

 

The sooner we can talk about things openly without going for each other's throats, and try and understand, the better I think. 

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45 minutes ago, CalmJimmers said:

I've suffered from anxiety and depression for the vast majority of my life, as well as OCD. 

 

I get why people question it, as they see similarities of things they have been through and things that work for them or other people with a 'normal' brain function. The thing is, with what I've experienced is, no matter what logic, reasonable thinking, coherent thought you have, you just do not believe it. 

 

Chris says that it was his first time really away from home. He probably thought he could manage it easy enough, like loads of other people he probably knows. Thing is when you have a mental illness it then starts to throw doubt on every little thing. What happens if this happens? OK that's fixed, but what about this more outlandish thing? OK but what about this near impossible scenario. Ad nauseam. Every minute of every day. It's exhausting - add in a high pressured job and a long commute and you have more problems. 

 

Mental illness is an almost constant battle - it's like having a dodgy knee. Some days you can think this is fine, I don't know what my problem is, I'm better now no issues. Other days it is agony and despair. 

 

I'm glad Chris has spoken up, Sam Hutchinson in the past too. All I'd say is try to listen to what they are saying about their experience, and try to understand, rather than come up with logical solutions which they have probably ruminated on for hours before. 

Great post mate. Summed up so well.

 

I dont get why people question it. We literally have medical experts telling us that it is a medical condition. We have people from all backgrounds, situations etc talking about it 

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I think the biggest problem and the easiest trap to fall into is that mentally well people have moods that change, that go up and down and usually, this is as a direct response to an event or events or a situation.

 

With depression, while there can be triggers, not all periods of low mood or anxiety is a reaction to an event or anything at all.

 

This is why we get the "What have got to be depressed about?" and "What are you anxious about?"

 

I have battled with depression most of my adult life. I didn't even know until I was about 40.

 

Something I have posted before is that a few years ago I was made redundant and I worried that this might trigger a period of depression. I worked hard at my job search and for the most part I was ok.

 

Then when I finally got a job offer I plunged into a really low mood. I was even saying to myself, "why are you feeling down? This is good news isn't it?". This shows how depression and anxiety does not always make sense and that moods are not simply driven by events and situations.

 

It is easy to see why many people do not understand.

 

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13 hours ago, DJMortimer said:

People should consider these kinds of things when they flippantly talk of "delicate little flowers" and what it might be like playing in front of large crowds of angry supporters when things aren't going well. It would be interesting to know how many players really suffer like this without speaking publicly about it.

If they suffer from playing in front of crowds maybe they should have thought about a different career? There are certain things that go with the territory and being a footballer and playing in front of people is hand in glove

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6 minutes ago, soldierboyblue said:

If they suffer from playing in front of crowds maybe they should have thought about a different career? There are certain things that go with the territory and being a footballer and playing in front of people is hand in glove

 

I think the situation is a bit more nuanced than that?

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