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3 hours ago, daztheowl said:

Been to 6 stores on a paracetamol hunt for the missus, crawling on mi hands and knees, checking all the crevices on the bottom shelves

 

 

Result, 2 packs. 

 

I thought you were more of a top shelf man ?

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Put ifollow on thinking it was an early April joke. Sat there until 4.30pm and nowt happened for a change. 

 

Then this woman kept staring at me weirdly on the other sofa. Saying we had been together 5 years this month. 

 

Absolute freak. 

 

Got drunk and realised it was my missus, apologised and now shes not talking to me. 

 

Result. 

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8 hours ago, Uncle Mort AMB said:

Watching Minder on ITV4 to avoid the news , and what pops up behind the bar Terry's working at , only bottles of Corona Lemonade FFS.

 

There's no escaping the virus, any other pop Alpine,  Barrs , Whites , no had to be flipping Corona!!

 

 

Prefered  IRN  BRU,TIZER and Ben Shaw's Dandelion and Burdock to Corona when i was young.lol

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15 minutes ago, S36 OWL said:

 

I thought you were more of a top shelf man ?

 

Gi' top shelf back. 

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End of day 2 without football and I’m convinced I just heard that programme seller shouting 

 

“bog rolls 3 quid” 

 

 

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Has anybody asked Sky about a refund yet? 

 

I know what DC will say. Just wondered about the TV companies.

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I still had football. Watched my daughters team win 14 - 0 and she got Player of the match award. 

She also scored only her 3rd ever goal in 5 seasons (she plays cb). She scored a 40 yard free kick earlier in the season but topped that yesterday. Picked ball up deep in her own half on the touchline. Went past 5 players then put it in the top corner from an acute angle at the edge of the box! 

 

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11 hours ago, darklord said:

I still had football. Watched my daughters team win 14 - 0 and she got Player of the match award. 

She also scored only her 3rd ever goal in 5 seasons (she plays cb). She scored a 40 yard free kick earlier in the season but topped that yesterday. Picked ball up deep in her own half on the touchline. Went past 5 players then put it in the top corner from an acute angle at the edge of the box! 

 

 

I thought i had it bad with cathphrase, Ant & Dec and Mrs Browns boys.... always someone worse off 

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The Present Mrs Grumble, my first wife, decided to use my day off to send me shopping.

 

Upon arrival at a local supermarket, armed with a huge list of about four items, I guided my trolley skilfully around the penshies who'd blocked the aisles to stop for a chat and the kids who were using their miniature trollies as a McLaren F1 cars around the store.

 

To prove that the grey matter still worked after several decades is misuse, I declined the offer of a nine-pack of toilet rolls costing £3.90 to take two small packs of four for £1.20 each (total £2.40, but one less toilet roll in total).

 

Mrs Grumble and I live in a posh house with more toilets than specified for a Daniel O'Donnell concert so our normal weekly shop would typically contain several toilet rolls to meet the demand.

 

Whilst checking out, the lump on the till then decides to create a scene by accusing me of taking more than two packets of loo rolls. The way he went off, I was worried because I didn't know that taking and paying for two packets of loo rolls resulted in a summary death penalty without appeal, fair trial or days off for good behaviour.

 

I really wanted to pick the oik up and bury his portly frame into the nearest wall when I realised that he had mistakenly thought that the huge pack of kitchen rolls that constituted around 90% of my shopping by weight had been included in his calculations.

 

His muffled apology was somewhat welcome but I still wanted to rip his head off, put in on a spike and parade it around the city centre as a warning to others.

 

Come back football, please.

 

 

 

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On 15/03/2020 at 10:14, torres said:

Start of day 2 without any sport 

 

All going well ........

 

 

 

image.gif.a8cc3bf5d1d7aa8b4c995ecb459d8277.gif

Reminds me of a flat I rented in Broomhall...£7 a week..

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On 14/03/2020 at 22:27, mogbad said:

Me & the Mrs have gone down with flu like symptoms.  Consequently we've stayed in behind closed doors, drank plenty, ate mainly paracetamol & read every coronavirus page available on the Internet.  Almost wish I'd been at Hillsborough reliving the Blackburn debacle.

 

Update

 

We've not been tested but the doc is pretty sure we've got coronavirus.  So it's 14 days of isolation & hope neither of us gets any worse.

 

At least I can watch all the live sport on TV.............................oh just a minute 😩😩😩

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Worked from home

 

1319384176_WhatsAppImage2020-03-16at21_59_39.thumb.jpeg.de94b964432c1d64d1bbdf1528dc4612.jpeg

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Shaved the wife's minge as it was getting a bit prickly, now looks like half a pound of rump steak

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2 minutes ago, eguin said:

Shaved the wife's minge as it was getting a bit prickly, now looks like half a pound of rump steak

I suppose half a pound of rump steak is better than half a pound of liver 

WTF:

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47 minutes ago, eguin said:

Shaved the wife's minge as it was getting a bit prickly, now looks like half a pound of rump steak

 

About bloody time.

 

WTF:

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I managed to get in an extra couple of w*nks thanks to the football not being on.

 

I really should stop thinking out loud.

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