Monk on social media haters and how players are affected

[@owlstalk]

When players are getting criticism, what do you try and do to combat that? Do you give them extra help?
 

You speak with players but it is part of the job. Even if we won every game this season, there would still be critics and people questioning certain things. That's just a way of the industry we are in and you have to be able to take that.

 

Of course, you try and give them advice and help them through it. I work with these players every single day and see the commitment, attitude and what I feel they can offer. You have to give them the trust to go onto a football pitch.

 

What I have tried to do is keep showing them that trust. Of course, there comes a point over a certain period where if that is not shown back then you obviously have a certain decision to make.

 

I think it is part and parcel of the job. If you come into a professional football - and I have spoken to a lot of the younger lads about it - you have to be able to deal with that (criticism).

 

You are always going to have critics and people that want to put you down or put a negative slant on everything. That is the world you live in.

 

It is for you to be very single-minded in that moment and understand what you want and can do better. A lot of the times you're your own worst critic.

 

It is about understanding yourself and what you need to do. Of course, we try and advise them and give them that trust and help.

But it is for them to have that mentality to fight through any negatives they might be facing and come out on top.

 

Do you think the younger players are going to be able to cope with these kind of things better?

 

Social media has definitely changed the dynamic. I think what it has changed the most is that need for approval. Social media has changed that. I think players seek approval on social media.

 

But you have to be very careful on social media as everyone has got an opinion and quite rightly so. You understand that but most of it is negative and I think that is the world that we live in.

 

Everyone wants to be negative right now and there is very rarely anything positive that is put towards you. It is abuse. 

 

Unfortunately, I think the mentality has changed throughout football, especially young players coming through because that is all they really know. They seek approval from that (social media).

 

I always try and advise the young players that the only approval they need to seek is that of yourself, the people that mean the most to you and your manager.

 

That is who you need to seek that approval from, not someone who doesn't know you, probably doesn't even come to the games, supports another club or is on there pretending to be someone else that is abusing you but you don't need that approval. 

 

It is very difficult because that is the world they have grown up in.

 

I have noticed it a lot. Players can be straight on there before or after games looking to see what the comments were and what was said about them.

 

They seek that approval and I have seen that a lot so it is try and advise that you can still do that and you can't get away from it but you have to be very careful that that is not the approval you are seeking.

 

A lot of that is not real. There are some genuine ones on there but the most genuine ones are positive. Even if they criticise, it is constructive.

 

I think the thing you probably thought media wise when I was a player was could you get a six or seven out of 10 on a Sunday morning in a paper! That was all you used to think about whereas now it has changed completely. 

 

You have got people coming from all sorts of angles. If I am honest, most of it is critical and most of it is abuse.

 

You have to be able to separate what is right and what is the thing to focus on and that is what I try to advise young players.

[oldishowl]

Good comments.

I would tell them not to go on social media but suppose that is unrealistic.

I would say it nigh on impossible for a young player not to be affected if they are continually reading negative stuff about themselves.

[lanzaroteowl]

Just think of them as sad little losers, jealous of your talent and move on.

[NYCOWL]

Genuinely never considered that the younger players might be doing that. Grim.

[Jim Wonk]

50 minutes ago, @owlstalk said:

When players are getting criticism, what do you try and do to combat that? Do you give them extra help?
 

You speak with players but it is part of the job. Even if we won every game this season, there would still be critics and people questioning certain things. That's just a way of the industry we are in and you have to be able to take that.

 

Of course, you try and give them advice and help them through it. I work with these players every single day and see the commitment, attitude and what I feel they can offer. You have to give them the trust to go onto a football pitch.

 

What I have tried to do is keep showing them that trust. Of course, there comes a point over a certain period where if that is not shown back then you obviously have a certain decision to make.

 

I think it is part and parcel of the job. If you come into a professional football - and I have spoken to a lot of the younger lads about it - you have to be able to deal with that (criticism).

 

You are always going to have critics and people that want to put you down or put a negative slant on everything. That is the world you live in.

 

It is for you to be very single-minded in that moment and understand what you want and can do better. A lot of the times you're your own worst critic.

 

It is about understanding yourself and what you need to do. Of course, we try and advise them and give them that trust and help.

But it is for them to have that mentality to fight through any negatives they might be facing and come out on top.

 

Do you think the younger players are going to be able to cope with these kind of things better?

 

Social media has definitely changed the dynamic. I think what it has changed the most is that need for approval. Social media has changed that. I think players seek approval on social media.

 

But you have to be very careful on social media as everyone has got an opinion and quite rightly so. You understand that but most of it is negative and I think that is the world that we live in.

 

Everyone wants to be negative right now and there is very rarely anything positive that is put towards you. It is abuse. 

 

Unfortunately, I think the mentality has changed throughout football, especially young players coming through because that is all they really know. They seek approval from that (social media).

 

I always try and advise the young players that the only approval they need to seek is that of yourself, the people that mean the most to you and your manager.

 

That is who you need to seek that approval from, not someone who doesn't know you, probably doesn't even come to the games, supports another club or is on there pretending to be someone else that is abusing you but you don't need that approval. 

 

It is very difficult because that is the world they have grown up in.

 

I have noticed it a lot. Players can be straight on there before or after games looking to see what the comments were and what was said about them.

 

They seek that approval and I have seen that a lot so it is try and advise that you can still do that and you can't get away from it but you have to be very careful that that is not the approval you are seeking.

 

A lot of that is not real. There are some genuine ones on there but the most genuine ones are positive. Even if they criticise, it is constructive.

 

I think the thing you probably thought media wise when I was a player was could you get a six or seven out of 10 on a Sunday morning in a paper! That was all you used to think about whereas now it has changed completely. 

 

You have got people coming from all sorts of angles. If I am honest, most of it is critical and most of it is abuse.

 

You have to be able to separate what is right and what is the thing to focus on and that is what I try to advise young players.

Crikey that’s the end of 99% of this forum then!

[asteener1867]

30 minutes ago, lanzaroteowl said:

Just think of them as sad little losers, jealous of your talent and move on.

Thats what I do...when the players read my critiques.................

[mcmigo]

As ever there is a balance.

 

i have no doubt someone like Bannan will walk off and know whether he has played well or not.  If he has played badly, no real issues with people saying that and pointing it out.  Am less comfortable with fans giving the hammer to someone like Da Cruz, who is only a kid and not ready for first team football. 

[Guest]

We’ve a fan base that buries it’s head in the sand with social media impact on players 

 

Its never an issue and always the players faults for going on social media 

[ChinaOwl]

Then give them training on how to deal with public criticism. Any person in any job where they are in the public eye will have to live with criticism. It goes with the territory and I bet they themselves use social media to criticise other people whether they are pop stars, politicians, other sports personalities or whoever.

[Guest]

3 minutes ago, ChinaOwl said:

Then give them training on how to deal with public criticism. Any person in any job where they are in the public eye will have to live with criticism. It goes with the territory and I bet they themselves use social media to criticise other people whether they are pop stars, politicians, other sports personalities or whoever.

Criticism isn’t an issue, outright personal abuse is 

[ChinaOwl]

Just now, Royal_D said:

Criticism isn’t an issue, outright personal abuse is 

 

Oh, maybe I didn't read the article properly, just skimmed it. Then yes, I agree.

[striker]

Not a fan of social media, don't do facebooks and only use Twatter to follow football. As far as I can see, it's full of either sad little trolls abusing others or people competing to be the most politically correct. 

 

IMO the best way for a player to receive approval is to look at the fans after the game. Clapping and singing, drink it in and savour the moment. Or if shouting "you're not fit to wear the shirt" best to stay off social media for a while 

[jomaco]

19 minutes ago, mcmigo said:

As ever there is a balance.

 

i have no doubt someone like Bannan will walk off and know whether he has played well or not.  If he has played badly, no real issues with people saying that and pointing it out.  Am less comfortable with fans giving the hammer to someone like Da Cruz, who is only a kid and not ready for first team football. 

Yes, he is a very experienced player, whereas a young player is still trying to work out themselves whether they are any good or not.

 

For him to say they are straight on it really highlights the problem. And I guess it is not surprising, we're always checking our phones - you have to be strong to get out of that habit and only use it when you actually want to.

[NorthernOwl]

2 minutes ago, Royal_D said:

Criticism isn’t an issue, outright personal abuse is 

 

Where is the line though? There is lots of criticism of players on here but it's very rarely constructive. Lots of comments about players being lazy, useless, stealing a wage etc. If you go out on the pitch and try your best it's easy to see how those sorts of  comments could impact you.

 

 

[N0rtherner]

Everyone going on social media needs to understand you can't just have your game without getting any flame/blame. Goes for any kind of person whatever their job/situation. Do something good and most will cheer you on, apart from a few losers, do something poor and pitchforks come out. Especially on social media because you can post your opinion behind a veil of anonymity, so most people tend to become a lot more vicious and insensitive than they would in real life.

 

So, the players should really be getting media training so they can decide whether they want to opt in for this or rather just focus on the job without the disturbance of social media presence.

[torres]

If you are on it then buckle up!!!

 

It's like playing on the motorway and complaining about the cars!

 

No need for any individual to be on it 

[Costello 77]

If we end up at war with the Russians and they post that we're soft gets on Facebook first then it's game over..

[bigdan2003]

 

12 minutes ago, N0rtherner said:

Everyone going on social media needs to understand you can't just have your game without getting any flame/blame. Goes for any kind of person whatever their job/situation. Do something good and most will cheer you on, apart from a few losers, do something poor and pitchforks come out. Especially on social media because you can post your opinion behind a veil of anonymity, so most people tend to become a lot more vicious and insensitive than they would in real life.

 

So, the players should really be getting media training so they can decide whether they want to opt in for this or rather just focus on the job without the disturbance of social media presence.

With the way of the world is young players can’t really avoid social media, and it’s only going to get bigger. It’s used for all sorts these days. And I don’t think any amount of training can prepare or prevent the impact abuse has on mental health.
 

I don’t think they should have to avoid it either.  Certainly shouldn’t be avoiding it because of some mouth breathers who only dish out abuse. 
 

Social media providers need to be responsible for policing this stuff better than they are doin currently.  

 

 

 

[Animis]

It's a reflection of society unfortunately. Loads of A-listers and sports people have come off as it just attracts loons. 

 

I think football is more acute though, party down to the history and the fan demographic. You watch 'fans' at games particularly on TV when they are animated screaming abuse at the players - Leeds fan who was a disabled fan's carer kicking off with a player, and Luton this season, when Dawson went to get the ball from behind the goal in front of their fans - grown men with their kids sticking two figures up giving him the tugger sign - pretending to give him the ball and throwing it away.

 

It's not just football though - look at the Brexit 'debate' last year - adults who should know better spouting vile and abuse at people they don't know - for what?

 

 

[Rhubarb n Custard]

Best thing they can do is not read it. 90% of it is drivel by people that don't have any idea what they are talking about and don't care about the impact. I'm not saying folk should never complain, but there seem to be no limits these days.