prowl Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 Has Hattersley got a blind dog. I thought it was that other guy Blunkett. Maybe they's both got one. I wonder if they are brothers? The dogs obviously, not the politicians. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Costello 77 Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 3 minutes ago, prowl said: Has Hattersley got a blind dog. I thought it was that other guy Blunkett. Maybe they's both got one. I wonder if they are brothers? The dogs obviously, not the politicians. This is and isn't the worst post ever in matchday.... tremendous on both counts and congratulations.. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev Owl Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 100 pages minimum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salmonbones Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 4 minutes ago, Rev Owl said: 100 pages minimum Not a chance, he will hide it in his not insignificant vulva. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samurai Blue Posted November 9, 2019 Share Posted November 9, 2019 (edited) Leave the chutney jars (concealed of course, so chutney thieves don't smash your windows) in your car, and conduct the transaction outside the ground after the game. This eliminates not only the smuggling dilemma, but also the hassle of carrying the jars. I mean FFS. Edited November 9, 2019 by Samurai Blue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
therac Posted November 9, 2019 Share Posted November 9, 2019 I reckon anyone who has managed to smuggle in a jar of chutney should wave it above their head in the 42nd minute and shout "I am vulva"... That will confuse the Swans just in time for our opening goal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsHall Posted November 9, 2019 Share Posted November 9, 2019 Get him pulling the 50/50 if he succeeds. UTO. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Farrell Posted November 9, 2019 Share Posted November 9, 2019 Lovely, lovely, lovely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vulva Posted November 9, 2019 Author Share Posted November 9, 2019 9 hours ago, A12owl said: Fake News. It never was true anyway. Attention seeker. If successful i’ll get a picture of the chutney inside the ground. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick - Norfolk Owl Posted November 9, 2019 Share Posted November 9, 2019 9 hours ago, prowl said: Has Hattersley got a blind dog. I thought it was that other guy Blunkett. Maybe they's both got one. I wonder if they are brothers? The dogs obviously, not the politicians. I was in a hotel in Sheffield recently and bumped into David, actually he bumped into me 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bukta Posted November 9, 2019 Share Posted November 9, 2019 When you realise that your Chutney habit has been so vanilla all these years. Orange and Beetroot sounds off the scale. Need to mug @vulva Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueowl1946 Posted November 9, 2019 Share Posted November 9, 2019 I’m now more interested in the result of the chutney smuggling than the game. Slightly disappointed that only one jar is involved as it makes it more of a shoe-in. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
latemodelchild Posted November 9, 2019 Share Posted November 9, 2019 A single jar smuggling caper should be easier to pull off. Bit of misdirection of any stewards in the area and trundle through with it in a coat pocket. The key is to bowl up to the gate with confidence, act as if you own the place and saunter through. I assume the handover has been arranged? Plenty of quiet spots on the south where gentlemen can facilitate a transaction I'm told. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hookowl Posted November 9, 2019 Share Posted November 9, 2019 4 hours ago, Rick - Norfolk Owl said: I was in a hotel in Sheffield recently and bumped into David, actually he bumped into me Did you both have white sticks? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChapSmurf Posted November 9, 2019 Share Posted November 9, 2019 I don't know if this has already been mentioned - I've not read through the entire fred - but I think the problem is the jars. A dead giveaway IMHO. So have you considered, and bear with me on this, encasing the chutney within Marzipan. We all know that Marzipan is excellent for packages fruity cakes, and well chutneys are like fruity cakes without the flour. So it's practically the same thing. I think if you made them in to rectangular shape, they would probably be easier to transport. Maybe 20cm x 10cm and 5cm thick. You'd maybe need a couple of these, and you could keep the chutney warm for immediate consumption by strapping these to your midriff for instance. A good strong gaffer tape should do the trick. And hey Presto Stand, you're in the South. Easy. Thank me later. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sonofbert2 Posted November 9, 2019 Share Posted November 9, 2019 We need a photo of the chutney against a stadium backdrop once you’ve got them in @vulva. It’ll be a great screensaver. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Costello 77 Posted November 9, 2019 Share Posted November 9, 2019 I wonder what the biggest thing smuggled into the ground is? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sonofbert2 Posted November 9, 2019 Share Posted November 9, 2019 Just now, Costello 77 said: I wonder what the biggest thing smuggled into the ground is? Tango’s belly? Jeffers’ ears? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pablo Bonvin Posted November 9, 2019 Share Posted November 9, 2019 1 minute ago, ChapSmurf said: I don't know if this has already been mentioned - I've not read through the entire fred - but I think the problem is the jars. A dead giveaway IMHO. So have you considered, and bear with me on this, encasing the chutney within Marzipan. We all know that Marzipan is excellent for packages fruity cakes, and well chutneys are like fruity cakes without the flour. So it's practically the same thing. I think if you made them in to rectangular shape, they would probably be easier to transport. Maybe 20cm x 10cm and 5cm thick. You'd maybe need a couple of these, and you could keep the chutney warm for immediate consumption by strapping these to your midriff for instance. A good strong gaffer tape should do the trick. And hey Presto Stand, you're in the South. Easy. Thank me later. The inter-marzipan chutney encasement option has been covered countless times within this thread already. Keep up. Anyway, I think marzipan is also banned by SAG just in case someone within a 23 mile radius of the ground has a nut allergy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Costello 77 Posted November 9, 2019 Share Posted November 9, 2019 3 minutes ago, sonofbert2 said: Tango’s belly? Jeffers’ ears? Mr Potato © springs to mind.. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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