Costello 77 Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 5 pages of chutney smuggling... FFS 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stanningtonowl Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 (edited) 2 hours ago, asteener1867 said: Judge Pickles is hearing the case ...(Older members may remember ) Judge Pickles. Edited November 8, 2019 by stanningtonowl 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cognacbarnowl Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 1 hour ago, Costello 77 said: 5 pages of chutney smuggling... FFS You started all this chutney nonsense feckin months ago, FFS. And it got a lot more than 5 pages 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Wonk Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 22 hours ago, vulva said: Got 3 x jam jars full of the stuff (beetroot and orange to be precise) which I need to get into the ground on Saturday to pass on. It’s not practical to do the drop before or after so need to smuggle in. Any ideas on how? Suspect I can get 2 in the Fireman Sam bag, hidden under a scarf, but struggling with the 3rd. Vulva... this is hilarious! I have signed in just to commend you on your talk of smuggling in pickled goods! I don’t even know if you are being serious or not but this is the good side of owlstalk...never mind talk of formations,who should play, who shunt, parking shenanigans... lets make this happen...put it under a big woolly hat and I think you’ll be good to go. Cheese and homemade chutney sandwiches after a lovely Wednesday win! Come on!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Wonk Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 7 hours ago, prowl said: If you go to the match with mates give them one jar each to get through the turnstiles. If one gets caught, the other 2 can get through the stewards while the first one kicks off a bit. 2 out of 3 isn't bad. You might get away with all 3 with a bit of luck, it's easier to hide one jar rather than 3. You could also send another person through ahead of the 3 carriers as a diversion. Just give him a dummy jar of chutney and tell him to get stopped as a distraction. Find a quiet area. One person get inside have a nother person chuck the chutney over the wall. This was a common way of getting stuff into prisons many years ago or so I understand. Well thought out!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mkowl Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 If it's a rubbish match I am going to expect at least one jar of chutney to be thrown on the pitch like the cushions used to Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Wonk Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 6 hours ago, hirstyboywonder said: This is how county lines operations work, start off pushing a few jars of mild condiments and once they prove they can do that it's on to the harder stuff. Before long the South Stand will be awash with onion salad and chilli dip and the trumping will be worse than on the Kop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Costello 77 Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 Borrow a Labrador and a white stick.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prowl Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 7 minutes ago, Costello 77 said: Borrow a Labrador and a white stick.. Why not get a labrador that can see..... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OWLERTON GHOST Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 I'll send you some Condimentary tickets over if that helps ? 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prowl Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 4 hours ago, asteener1867 said: Plastic elasticated incontinent pads x2... park the car early, get the chutney outta the boot, strip off put plasticc incontinent pants on.... Decant chutney in between the 2 pairs of incontinent pads, ensuring no leakage... Walk gingerly to ground... If a Steward asks search you, let him..as he pats you down, smile awkwardly and ask if "This is the turnstile nearest the toilet?"..i guarantee he will quickly wave you through...arrange to meet recipient..."Ensuring he/she also has 2x Incontinence pads..."..and decant from one to the other in the toilets at the back of whichever stand you are in..during a quiet period during the game... Thats how I do ..err...would do it Are you into the whole incontinence pad thng.? It's one way of passing time I suppose. Thinking about it I can see it's a way of passing other things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prowl Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 Threads like this can get very surreal and entertaining. Top marks guys for Owlstalk at it's best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Costello 77 Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 Borrow a Labrador that can see and a white stick FFS... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edmontonowl Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 2 minutes ago, OWLERTON GHOST said: I'll send you some Condimentary tickets over if that helps ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vulva Posted November 8, 2019 Author Share Posted November 8, 2019 Update. 2 of the 3 jars have gone to Great Grandma which leaves 1 to smuggle in tomorrow. I’ll have my 2 lads with me so my plan is to plant the chutney jar on one of them. I’m thinking big bobble hat and a feigned need for a wee to create a distraction. Bit like them drug mules from Doncaster that got caught in Marrakech. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OWLERTON GHOST Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 So we are looking for a middle aged bloke in a bobble hat teararsing his way to the bogs whilst wind milling at dwarfs (other small people are available) on his way there with a map of Australia on his Levi's.. Whilst tangos steward wrestles with two young kids at the turnstiles getting battered from àrsehole to breakfast time with a jar of pickle .... Shouldn't be too hard to spot ...... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prowl Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 20 minutes ago, Costello 77 said: Borrow a Labrador that can see and a white stick FFS... What would it want with a white stick if it can see? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Costello 77 Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 5 minutes ago, prowl said: What would it want with a white stick if it can see? What's that got to do with chutney? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prowl Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 2 minutes ago, Costello 77 said: What's that got to do with chutney? I've no idea... I thought you had. It was you that started on about blind labradors and white sticks. FFS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Costello 77 Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 2 minutes ago, prowl said: I've no idea... I thought you had. It was you that started on about blind labradors and white sticks. FFS Turns out Vulva's a time waster anyway.. he's only got one jar to get in.. hardly worth impersonating Hattersley.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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