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1 minute ago, vulva said:

Aging? I was thinking more youthful and cavalier. 


They’ve cast Clint Eastwood to play you.

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Just now, Holmowl said:


They’ve cast Clint Eastwood to play you.

Clint Eastwood attending Wednesday v Swansea would arouse suspicion. 

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3 minutes ago, vulva said:

Clint Eastwood attending Wednesday v Swansea would arouse suspicion. 


Go ahead Monk, make my day.

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10 hours ago, S36 OWL said:

Bet you cant smuggle them down Leppings Lane before the game. 

Amateurs. That's what drones were invented for.

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Have you thought of putting it all in sandwiches? As far as I know there isn't a ban on taking your lunch into the ground. You would probably have to make about 50 sandwiches mind but who are they to question your dietary needs.:mellow:

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You'll need a hi-viz jacket with "Chutney Supervisor" written on the back in black felt tip.

 

Then simply approach the gate and shout "Chutney supervisor... coming through!" and you'll get straight in, no problem.

 

I did it a few weeks ago and I didn't even have to pay to get in.

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Pretty obvious 

Just put said chutney into a flask

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Put the jars on 3 soap dishes and float them under the turnstile?

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11 hours ago, vulva said:

Got 3 x jam jars full of the stuff (beetroot and orange to be precise) which I need to get into the ground on Saturday to pass on. It’s not practical to do the drop before or after so need to smuggle in. 

 

Any ideas on how? Suspect I can get 2 in the Fireman Sam bag, hidden under a scarf, but struggling with the 3rd. 

 

Might need to do what the cartels do.....distribute into condoms, swallow it...you know the rest. 

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Could you buy something from the shop and just put the jars in the Wednesday carrier bag?

 

 

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As a member of SAG I would like to notify this page that any chutney brought into the ground will result in that person and persons in the stand being banned from all remaining games of the season.  We would also put in place further restrictions to make sure this does not happen again. 

As well as the road closures we would be inspecting each and every car for dangerous items like chutney . 

Yours piganomicly 

SAG

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12 hours ago, vulva said:

To clarify, I’ve not made the chutney. Don’t particularly warm to the stuff. I’m just the carrier in this pre Christmas transaction. 

Will it help towards FFP?

D Chutney...

lol

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Hide in plain sight... wait until stadium is quiet then shout "  CHUTNEY 3 QUID" or alternatively get Snooty to sneak it in under his top hat. 

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12 hours ago, vulva said:

Got 3 x jam jars full of the stuff (beetroot and orange to be precise) which I need to get into the ground on Saturday to pass on. It’s not practical to do the drop before or after so need to smuggle in. 

 

Any ideas on how? Suspect I can get 2 in the Fireman Sam bag, hidden under a scarf, but struggling with the 3rd. 

First world problem right there lol 

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Bring a very good looking appropriately dressed lady with you. Whilst holding hands you go through first--- stewards attention affixed firmly on your companion.   lol

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I believe the technique required is called plugging. 

 

So I'm told. 

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Please feel free to discuss any other items you plan to smuggle into the ground...

image.png

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2 hours ago, bigdan2003 said:

Could you buy something from the shop and just put the jars in the Wednesday carrier bag?

 

 

Wrap them up in a play-off t-shirt first...

I can sell you one of these bags...

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Take a small child and a rucksack with the chutneys in and put spare nappies on top in the bag, worked for confectionery for a couple of years for me. You may need to borrow a child though

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