The Dukeries Owl Posted November 7, 2019 Share Posted November 7, 2019 7 minutes ago, Groundhopping Owl said: Find a steward with a sense of humour and all will be reyt. If you find the one who tried to refuse to let me in because I had an overnight bag (having travelled 300 miles for a Friday night game, which entails, you know... staying overnight) then wait for his superior to come along and order him to belt up. Alternatively bring a fourth jar and use it as bribery. Yes your honour he attempted to bribe me with a jar of chutney Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nero Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 Easy does it mate.... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nevthelodgemoorowl Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 When you go for an Indian do you prefer Mango or Lime ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Utah Owl Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 3 hours ago, Everywhere & nowhere said: Get a cat in the hat hat and stash your chutney in there. Surely wouldn’t attract any attention. Works at Anfield and Goodison, they think you're one of the Diddymen! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
areNOTwhatTHEYseem Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 Slap a vaguely professional-looking 'Chansiri's Christmas Chutney' sticker on each jar and tell the stewards you've just bought them in the club shop. Just make sure the pricing is realistic enough to fool them. Something like '£2 for season ticket holders, £3.60 for members, £25 for everyone else' should do the trick. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cognacbarnowl Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 Just gaffer tape 'em to the bottom of the canoe, FFS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inspector Lestrade Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 1 hour ago, cognacbarnowl said: Just gaffer tape 'em to the bottom of the canoe, FFS Just point up to the sky when they look up rush the turnstiles, works for me that's how I get my flares in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keepitsteel89 Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 Ok lads listen up I want a tightly policed game no corners cut, intel has suggested somone is to smuggle 3 jars or jam into the ground, still not sure if it's jam or pickle, or if there the same thing but we have guys working round the clock, somthing about mango and beetroot "but beetroot in a jam Sir" these guys are the real deal Sullivan, they have links to the muJAHedin.. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howards back Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 You’ve done it now there will be stewards searching everyone going into the ground. We will miss the first half and there will be a 50 page thread on why this happened. It’s all your fault. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vulva Posted November 8, 2019 Author Share Posted November 8, 2019 Some good suggestions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morepork Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 Two pages, no mention of domestic polecats....that’s evolution. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmowl Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 9 hours ago, vulva said: To clarify, I’ve not made the chutney. Don’t particularly warm to the stuff. I’m just the carrier in this pre Christmas transaction. IMDB review The Mule (Star rating 1/5) Aging football fan, Vulva, forced against his will to smuggle chutney into a (not very) crowded stadium, without the crack troop of highly-trained, eagle-eyed stewards spotting him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vulva Posted November 8, 2019 Author Share Posted November 8, 2019 Just now, Holmowl said: IMDB review The Mule (Star rating 1/5) Aging football fan, Vulva, forced against his will to smuggle chutney into a (not very) crowded stadium, without the crack troop of highly-trained, eagle-eyed stewards spotting him. Aging? I was thinking more youthful and cavalier. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwellOwl Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 Wear a top hat, simple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmowl Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 1 minute ago, vulva said: Aging? I was thinking more youthful and cavalier. They’ve cast Clint Eastwood to play you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vulva Posted November 8, 2019 Author Share Posted November 8, 2019 Just now, Holmowl said: They’ve cast Clint Eastwood to play you. Clint Eastwood attending Wednesday v Swansea would arouse suspicion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmowl Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 3 minutes ago, vulva said: Clint Eastwood attending Wednesday v Swansea would arouse suspicion. Go ahead Monk, make my day. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Owl Stork Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 10 hours ago, S36 OWL said: Bet you cant smuggle them down Leppings Lane before the game. Amateurs. That's what drones were invented for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hougoumont Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 Have you thought of putting it all in sandwiches? As far as I know there isn't a ban on taking your lunch into the ground. You would probably have to make about 50 sandwiches mind but who are they to question your dietary needs. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musn't Grumble Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 You'll need a hi-viz jacket with "Chutney Supervisor" written on the back in black felt tip. Then simply approach the gate and shout "Chutney supervisor... coming through!" and you'll get straight in, no problem. I did it a few weeks ago and I didn't even have to pay to get in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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