Popular Post Lord Snooty Posted August 2, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 2, 2019 Previously on Owlstalk... "Home" "Right then, have I missed much?” “Sir... I....” “Come, come Stubbs, let’s hear all the pre-season good tidings! A quick review of the unbound summer optimism!" “Right, well…(*inhales deeply) The club have signed a German centre back Julian Borner, six foot odd with a natural left peg and a stereotypically German air of self- assurance.... also on-board is Cardiff flyer Kadeem Harris who has pace to burn likes to take on the full back and can play on either flank..in a four or a front three....they've been joined by Pudils play-off nemesis Moses Odubajo… Kieran Lee has re-signed but; the announcement was delayed because of embargo… but then it was announced the club is out of soft Embargo or maybe even full embargo- …so then Lee was then officially announced… but the embargo lift is only for the time being as this season has now become “Endgame”…..or maybe not …Newcastle came in for the manager….Bruce said he knew nothing about it and just wanted to take his dog for a walk….the shirts were revealed and we're back in proper stripes ….then it turned out Bruce had indeed walked his dog...;to Newcastle for talks... ....Then he came back ( Bruce that is, I'm not sure about the dog) and told Chansiri he wanted to go to Newcastle…Chansiri wouldn’t let him….So Bruce quit…. but Chansiri didn’t let him quit either….but he went anyway…. Fat Mike Ashley offered us a Sports Direct Mug and a £5 golf driver so Chansiri told him to cobblers…. the bookies had Zola installed as favourite for the Wednesday job….20,000 people had a mental breakdown...and hundreds pumped money on random names , including Rui Silva and Jesus Christ just to push Zolas name off the top spot….then it was Chris Hughton as favourite….though some people thought it was Ray Houghton....and some people thought Hughton was Houghton.... then a bombshell! - there were no kiddies socks in the Megastore… then Hughton turned us down... twice…maybe it was three times, who knows…. Then Rowett became the new favourite but he says he hasn’t spoken to the club…. body language experts say he has spoken to the club because when he was interviewed on 5-live he kept “looking up and to the left”, which is apparently a classic and well known tell-tale sign of someone who is lying …However the body language experts seem to have forgotten to take into account that there are live-feed TV screens in the 5 live studio attached to the wall in the corner which means guests have to glance up and to the left if they want to keep an eye on the cricket scores... ...so he was lying or watching a sticky wicket...... Vulva has moved to an island in the sun….or might be trapped in a suitcase…it's unclear..... Megson has thrown his hat in the ring for the job…..but only if he’s number one, he doesn't want to play number 2 to Pulis…. Pulis has thrown his cap in the ring….which is rare as he never usually takes it off, but it turns out he’d been wearing two caps all these years, so even though he's thrown it in, still no one has seen the top of his head because there was another one underneath it…. Chansiri announced he wanted £4m for Bruce and then went on holiday to Disney land …. Jordan Rhodes has been scoring goals again in friendlies but friendly goals (like Nuhiu taps-ins & headers) don't count , but it's still been enough for Norwich to make a cheeky bid of ten bob , two pear drops and a toffo with a hair on it….Chansiri told them to get fecked as well...he'll be growing very wary of clubs beginning with N soon....... Newcastle then paid up for Bruce, it was 1,2,3, or 4 million depending who you believe….meanwhile some of the fans didn’t get clapped in a friendly game which could cost Bullen the chance of getting the job that he's previously said he didn't want ,because teams not clapping fans is the sign of a bad manager....the Chairman held a clandestine meeting in London, Florida and California all at the same time.....either some of it isn't true or he's been cloned......also it's been revealed that The Star are advertising for a partner in crime for Doom Howson .... . .......Bullen -despite "Clap-gate"- remains in charge for the foreseeable …though the Burton game two years ago might still cost him as that's the one episode in his whole career that he will always be judged on..... there was a water main burst on Pinstone street which caused some chaos...but no-one knows if it was that that stopped the kiddies socks making it to the megastore…No one knows if Newcastle paid for the two Steves, you know, the little bald one and the other one....meanwhile on here.concern is growing for the health of walthamowl who’s taken this pre-season pretty badly….. Forestieri has been banned by the FA for 6 games the week the season starts for shouting at someone - a year ago…even though there’s no hard evidence and he’s been cleared in a court of law …we have no permanent manager....no more players have come in...no players have been sold......the transfer window shuts soon....and we kick off tomorrow in one of the toughest divisions in World football...against a Reading side in confident mood and fancying they can put 3 or 4 past us due to the "turmoil Wednesday are in" ...anyway.....i think that's about it.......Sir? Sir, are you ok?” “Proper stripes on the shirt you say?” “Yes...” “Excellent. Promotion it is then. Pop open a bottle we'll celebrate." Reading - V - Wednesday Saturday 3rd August 15:00 Madejski Stadium Cloudy, 22c READING Predicted line-up (4-3-3): Joao Virginia; Yiadom, Miazga, Moore, Blackett; Rinomhota, Swift, Adam; Loader, Meite, Barrow Unavailable: Obita (Injured) Doubtful: Richards (Injured) Reading manager Jose Gomes will be glad to get a first pre-season under his belt after taking over from Paul Clement last season and he continues to trim down and hone the squad that battled to avoid relegation. Seasoned Championship players Charlie Adam and Michael Morrison join the Royals from Stoke and Birmingham respectively, while Matt Miazga has re-joined on loan from Chelsea after his success in defence in the second-half of last season. Gomes has been putting the Royals through their paces with a mammoth 10 pre-season friendlies played over the summer as he aims to avoid the horror start suffered last season that saw them go six games without a win. SHEFFIELD WEDNESDAY Predicted line-up (4-3-3): Westwood; Odubajo, Lees, Borner, Palmer; Reach, Lee, Hutchinson, Bannan, Harris, Fletcher Unavailable: Iorfa (Suspended) Doubtful: Forestieri (Looming ban) Caretaker manager Lee Bullen leads the Owls - he won three, drew two and lost just the one of his six league games in charge earlier this year. Wednesday will line up 4-3-3 unless Bullen changes tack and starts with Jordan Rhodes partnering Steven Fletcher. throw up for places in the wide areas where Harris, Reach, Forestieri and Joao are all hoping for a spot Left back remains an issue. Palmer is the more consistent out of the 3 options of himself, Odubajo and Fox. Fox has a natural left peg and has been putting it to good use in the friendly games putting plenty of crosses in. COME ON WEDNESDAY! UTO ================================= ... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . RING, RING! "Hello?" "Hello?! Is that Dejphon?" "Yes, who is this? Can you phone back later, I'm trying to enjoy the show with the family" "It's only a quicky" "What?" "This Toffo that Norwich offered for Rhodes. What flavour was it?" "Banana" "The dirty bstards. You did the right.thing. Enjoy the show. Cheerio." 35 10 37 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neal M Posted August 2, 2019 Share Posted August 2, 2019 Pinned. UTMFO. HMS wee wee the League is back. 1 I move a lot of concrete on the QVC. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neal M Posted August 2, 2019 Share Posted August 2, 2019 Boooooooooooo. 2 I move a lot of concrete on the QVC. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OWLERTON GHOST Posted August 2, 2019 Share Posted August 2, 2019 What a magnificent trumper though? Could kinda forgive them for their actions to be fair .... 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bulgaria Posted August 2, 2019 Share Posted August 2, 2019 Very good Mlord, very good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrmason69 Posted August 2, 2019 Share Posted August 2, 2019 Come on Wednesday. Let's have a good crack at promotion. Three average teams came down so we've got an extra chance. I have no idea what to expect this season or against Reading tomorrow We won't miss Bruce as I believe he's washed up. We need young eager talent. I'D rather have Bullen than aging never beens just here for the money Please Wednesday, sign a proper striker and a midfield playmaker. At present we haven't either Good luck tomorrow. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev Owl Posted August 2, 2019 Share Posted August 2, 2019 (edited) And normality resumes.... At least what passes for it on here anyway . I predicted a win because I intend to let heart rule head whenever possible. 1-2 UTO WAWAW PS masterful and very funny summary of the summer's ups and downs. Welcome back MiLord. Edited August 2, 2019 by Rev Owl 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prowl Posted August 2, 2019 Share Posted August 2, 2019 A bit previous Snoots old boy. How can it be an OMDT when it's the day before Match Day. I know you've been on your jollies and you might have been in a different time zone but this will never do. There is tradition to be considered and the superstitious amongst the fan base might not forgive you if we lose tomorrow. It could put our whole season in jeopardy. First the snake and now you. Pray for a win or you may need to hide out in the old caravan in the woods, not because your dear lady has that glint in her eye again but because the natives might be marching up your drive pitchforks in hand looking to use your hide for target practice. Nothing but a victory will do or promotion will be a pipedream yet again. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FinnishOwl Posted August 2, 2019 Share Posted August 2, 2019 Splendid to read these again. The current preseason has been the most bizarre ever. Nice recap of the whole chaos.. Now who can say that supporting Sheffield Wednesday is dull. I believe there's more to come, but while we wait.. it's one nil to us and Rhodes will score. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post asteener1867 Posted August 2, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 2, 2019 Well ive gone for win..Theres no f.ookin' choice this season..Win Bloody all settled and set for Bruce to take us to glory....20 years in the doldrums..expectations runnin' rampant... Then.. F.ookin' Bruce an' his daschund not only run rampant, but run up the A1..in a rampant manner If there were actually Gods of football...which there f.ookin' aren't..You would think..sorta Zeus would turn to Apollo an' say... "You've been f.ookin' about wiv Wednesday for 2 decades now soft lad..whats yer problem" Apollo..."its that boomtown rats thingy..me favourite song...." Zeus.."Thats MondayFFS!" Apollo.."Seriously...???" Zeus..."yea" Apollo..."But wot about that bit where.."Bullen tackles and the captains shin crackles".."f.ookin' shocking behaviour!!!" Zeus.."Its BULLHORN..yer daft ..err..Deity" Apollo "Really??" Zeus "Deffo" Apollo..."Crikey...Ive been a bit unfair haven't I?" zeus "Just a tad" Wednesday to walk the league due to f.ookin' divine justice 1 16 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roscoe P. Coltrane Posted August 2, 2019 Share Posted August 2, 2019 THE WEDNESDAY 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John West Posted August 2, 2019 Share Posted August 2, 2019 Best OMDT ever 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbo48 Posted August 2, 2019 Share Posted August 2, 2019 The master returns. Excellent stuff Snoots. I think you outsourced during the close season as some of the work posted under your name has not been of this standard. It had a hint of Hargreaves about it. Its great to have the original and best back to steer us through the choppy waters of a new season 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OWLERTON GHOST Posted August 2, 2019 Share Posted August 2, 2019 Win or lose we will follow the Blues ..... n Jack n Meg...... 0 - 2 ....... Smash em ....... 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Utah Owl Posted August 2, 2019 Share Posted August 2, 2019 Nice to see you back, not sure what Jack the Ripper's got to do wi' 'owt mind (or is it the Phantom Raspberry Blower of Old London Town)? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asteener1867 Posted August 2, 2019 Share Posted August 2, 2019 1 minute ago, Ibbo48 said: The master returns. Excellent stuff Snoots. I think you outsourced during the close season as some of the work posted under your name has not been of this standard. It had a hint of Hargreaves about it. Its great to have the original and best back to steer us through the choppy waters of a new season I totally agree...I was really miffed when Snoots ignored the peasantry during the close season....sorta shut the mansion doors...drove off in the Bentley to do that "European tour " the Toffs sorta go on..Paris, Venice, Berlin......Immingham..thingy....but he's back wiv a bang... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morepork Posted August 2, 2019 Share Posted August 2, 2019 I'd have taken the last two months off if I'd have known you could sum it up so succinctly!!!! Thanks Snooty, this inspired my belligerent side to vote for the win. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Utah Owl Posted August 2, 2019 Share Posted August 2, 2019 10 minutes ago, asteener1867 said: Well ive gone for win..Theres no f.ookin' choice this season..Win Bloody all settled and set for Bruce to take us to glory....20 years in the doldrums..expectations runnin' rampant... Then.. F.ookin' Bruce an' his daschund not only run rampant, but run up the A1..in a rampant manner If there were actually Gods of football...which there f.ookin' aren't..You would think..sorta Zeus would turn to Apollo an' say... "You've been f.ookin' about wiv Wednesday for 2 decades now soft lad..whats yer problem" Apollo..."its that boomtown rats thingy..me favourite song...." Zeus.."Thats MondayFFS!" Apollo.."Seriously...???" Zeus..."yea" Apollo..."But wot about that bit where.."Bullen tackles and the captains shin crackles".."f.ookin' shocking behaviour!!!" Zeus.."Its BULLHORN..yer daft ..err..Deity" Apollo "Really??" Zeus "Deffo" Apollo..."Crikey...Ive been a bit unfair haven't I?" zeus "Just a tad" Wednesday to walk the league due to f.ookin' divine justice Nah then lad that's gorrit all wrong! If any of the Greek Pantheon can be associated with Wednesday it is Athena (my favourite by the way) who's symbol is the Owl! FFS thought an intelligent lad like you would know that! 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asteener1867 Posted August 2, 2019 Share Posted August 2, 2019 13 minutes ago, Utah Owl said: Nah then lad that's gorrit all wrong! If any of the Greek Pantheon can be associated with Wednesday it is Athena (my favourite by the way) who's symbol is the Owl! FFS thought an intelligent lad like you would know that! She ought to f.ookin' tip up then mate......done us no favours.. According to some daft site I just checked ..to make me look intelligent... She was born...and get this.. "From the forehead of Zeus...fully armed" Fully armed..and she has done nowt! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Utah Owl Posted August 2, 2019 Share Posted August 2, 2019 3 minutes ago, asteener1867 said: She ought to f.ookin' tip up then mate......done us no favours.. According to some daft site I just checked ..to make me look intelligent... She was born...and get this.. "From the forehead of Zeus...fully armed" Fully armed..and she has done nowt! By Wisdom and Courage. It's all about timing and the time is now! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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