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Last groundsman left to join another club. He’d heard that the grass was always greener on the other side.

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I've heard Clarence SEEDorf and Tim Flowers have applied for the position.

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Apparently looking for applicants with green fingers! Few applied from Barnsley asking if 6 fingers would do.

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3 minutes ago, owls7 said:

I've heard Clarence SEEDorf and Tim Flowers have applied for the position.

Have to be good a summat :tongue:

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2 hours ago, Tarquin said:

 Vacancy for Assistant  advertised in march , Vacancy for head groundsman in April :unsure:.

 

Feels like the normal Human Resources wee wee tail up to me.

Wonder if the head was not consulted in the interview process ??:blink: 

Warm

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He’s off to Doncaster 

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This is an urgent message for mr meadows 

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One of the applicants is on his way to the interview. It's on the 4th floor, so he takes the lift. When it reaches the 3rd floor, it stops and in gets DC. Recognising him, our man immediately starts fumbling in his pocket.

'What is that you have there?' asks DC, as our man pulls out a tiny box. He opens it to reveal a perfect miniature copy of the hallowed Hillsborough turf, with real grass, complete with all the markings.

'That really is most impressive,' says DC.

'Thanks,' says our man. 'I was hoping you'd like it. It's my elevator pitch.'

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2 hours ago, owls maniac said:

Seems a bit tinpot advertising a role like this on the OS. Surely positions like this are headhunted? Not exactly encouraging that two weeks from end of the season and we don’t have someone to sort the pitch!

 

Exactly, that bloke who used to look after the pitches at Sheffield lane top was alright, not his fault all the dogshit. 

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24 minutes ago, richowl said:

He’s off to Doncaster 

Very warm. 

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1 hour ago, Flying V said:

I was going to crack a joke too but sod it. 

 

****rye smile emoticon****

 

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Well I heard that one man went to mow, went to mow a medow. But he brought his dog with him and one man and his dog got shifted on to mown another meadow. Now he wants two men to mow his meadow. 

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Apparently Abdi and Jones have put in applications, as both require new careers.

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6 minutes ago, Quist said:

Apparently Abdi and Jones have put in applications, as both require new careers.

No thanks,  it would be full of fag ends within a week. 

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This thread has gone to seed already 

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4
4 hours ago, marshy said:

Despite all the jokes / puns it's a serious issue. We'll all be moaning come Winter if the pitch is in a state. Didn't the desso people say that it has to be looked after properly?

Hope it's sorted soon. I did think how well the pitch looked yesterday though.

 

Cut it once a week chuck a bit of horse muck on it now and again, water it when it's hot.  Bloody easy

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21 hours ago, S36 OWL said:

This thread has gone to seed already 

Agreed you silly sods all need to pack it in before the mods turf you out!

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1 hour ago, Utah Owl said:

Agreed you silly sods all need to pack it in before the mods turf you out!

 

I hope no one Grasses us up to them. 

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On 23/04/2019 at 20:26, Quist said:

Apparently Abdi and Jones have put in applications, as both require new careers.

 

Abdi has been unsuccessful, not enough recent experience on grass.

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