Popular Post Lord Snooty Posted March 16, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted March 16, 2019 (edited) "What's the commotion outside? Is it the press, come to ask me my views on our late play off charge? I knew they'd come around in the end. They can't keep writing tat all along, no. Sooner or later they want to hear the sage words of an expert Stubbs. The words of an expert! Who's there? " "No Sir. It's the locals" "The local hacks? Is Biggs there?" "No Sir, the locals as in the locals. The villagers." "Well what the hell do they want? They haven't got their flaming torches have they? I'll never forget uncle Montys 50th." "No sir. They come in peace. They just want to come into the grounds. Apparently there is a rare Pokemon which is situated near the rose garden" "A what?" "A Pokemon" "I thought that was something the West Indians used to stir the fire embers?" "No Sir. It's a live action game you play via your mobile phone." "What, like snake?" "No Sir, not really like snake. It works via satellite. Most people have moved on from 3210's" "Well I don't know why! Great piece of kit. One charge lasts 3 months and they're virtually indestructible" "Indeed Sir. Speaking of which Mr Teal is coming around tomorrow to fix the table leg so you can stop using the phone as a wedge" "Excellent" "So shall I let them in Sir?" "Who?" "The locals Sir." "Absolutely bloody not. Remember last time we let the rabble in. Woke in the morning and Hargreaves has organised a music festival on the bloody lawn. Gordon Bennett what a mess. All bloody day and night they were at it, and the racket. I thought it might get better when he left when we tricked him out into the village with the promise of free tacos but then it got worse remember? The brother took over, messing about with the records" "DJ'ing is the term Sir" "I don't care what it's called. What a noise! My God. I'm haunted still. Haunted still. No, we don't want a repeat of that again. I never want to be reminded of the horrors of the terrible two again and I never want to hear the names of those two in this house ever again. Draw the curtains" "Very good Sir" "Nearly time for the match day thread" "I'll get the stats and match facts" "No, don't bother. I thought I'd do it all myself tonight. Afterall how hard can it be?" "Well..." "Right. Listen to this, this is what I have got so far. -"Blackburn is a town in northern England famed for having 4000 holes"-". "4000 holes, in Blackburn , Lancashire...? Really?" "I thought that too! That's not many really is it Stubbs. Not compared to here!" "You misunderstand me Sir. This 'fact' , have you by any chance got this off Wikipedia Sir?" "Yes why?" "I don't think you can trust it .I mean you remember The Beat-" "Sush sush Stubbs, stop distracting me. There's more. Did you know that Blackburn is the obesity capital of England? Eh Stubbs, eh?" "But it isn't Sir. The obesity capital of England is Copeland in Cumbria , followed closely by Doncaster" "Was that before or after Hoots moved there?" "I'm sure I don't know Sir. But the fact is it's not Blackburn." "But the internet said.." "Sir. This is what I mean. You don't want to look like you have just scanned nonsense off the internet. If I may, I think it might be wise for me to do the Match facts. For your reputations sake" "Bloody hell. Very well. But try and make it look smart, know what I mean? Put some interesting stuff in about our visitors. It's time we classed this column up a bit" "Very well Sir. Ahem. -'Blackburn is former mill town, famed world wide for it's textiles which have been produced there since the middle of the 13th century, when wool was woven in people's houses in the domestic system. It was Flemish weavers who settled in the area during the 14th century who helped to develop the huge woollen cottage industry. However the most rapid period of growth and development in Blackburn's history coincided with the industrialisation and expansion of textile manufacturing which was boosted in 1764 by the invention of the 'Spinning Jenny' by carpenter and inventor .....James Hargreaves-" "STUUBBBBBBS AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRHHH WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT MENTIONING THEM! OUT. GET OUT! YOU BASSTARD. OUUUUUT!!" Championship kick off : 15:00 Hillsborough Sheffield Wednesday boss Steve Bruce has hinted that striker Sam Winnall could make his first start for the club since August 2017. However, fellow striker Lucas Joao (knee) is expected to miss out despite his injury not being as bad as first feared. The game is too soon for returning striker Gary Hooper. Fernando Forestieri is still being monitored after picking up a hamstring injury which the club fears may be connected to an ongoing knee problem. Blackburn striker Danny Graham (hamstring) and full-back Amari'i Bell (knock) are doubtful. Let's hope Graham misses out considering his last outing against us. Defender Charlie Mulgrew is likely to be ruled out by the hamstring injury that saw him miss the midweek win over Wigan. MATCH FACTS Sheffield Wednesday have lost just one of their past 10 home league games against Blackburn (W5 D4 L1), a 1-2 loss in March 2015. Blackburn are looking to complete a league double over Sheffield Wednesday for the first time since the 1994-95 season, when Rovers won the Premier League title. In all competitions, Steve Bruce has won nine of his past 10 home games against Blackburn (D1) since losing 0-4 in December 2003 with Birmingham City. No Championship team have conceded more away goals this season than Blackburn Rovers (38, level with Hull and Wigan). Sheffield Wednesday have lost just one of their last 15 league matches (W7 D7 L1) and are unbeaten in their last 10 in a row, conceding just four times in that run. Since the start of the 2017-18 season, Charlie Mulgrew has scored 10 penalties in league football for Blackburn - in that time, only Crystal Palace's Luka Milivojevic and Accrington's Billy Kee (15 each) have scored more penalties in the top four tiers of English football. ** Edited March 16, 2019 by Lord Snooty 17 8 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Ever the pessimist Posted March 16, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted March 16, 2019 My apologies but my lad is going today...aggregate of his last 4 games: 0-10. Signs were all there when, on his first visit, we drew with 10 men Yeovil and he fell in the p1ss trough at half time. 17 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Snooty Posted March 16, 2019 Author Share Posted March 16, 2019 1 minute ago, Ever the pessimist said: My apologies but my lad is going today...aggregate of his last 4 games: 0-10. Signs were all there when, on his first visit, we drew with 10 men Yeovil and he fell in the p1ss trough at half time. "You as well. OUT!!!" 1 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ever the pessimist Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 Just now, Lord Snooty said: "You as well. OUT!!!" If anyone wants to babysit my kids for the sake of Wednesday then I am open to offers. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BARMYARMY2010 Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 "A what?" "A Pokemon" "I thought that was something the West Indians used to stir the fire embers?" Funniest thing ive read in an age....................................well done sir. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wexowl Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 Must get a new bottle of gin ........... Well done M'lud. If Nuhiu is playing he will score at least two goals. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ever the pessimist Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 My prediction: Fletcher goes off injured... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Snooty Posted March 16, 2019 Author Share Posted March 16, 2019 17 minutes ago, Ever the pessimist said: Signs were all there when, on his first visit, we drew with 10 men Yeovil and he fell in the p1ss trough at half time. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ever the pessimist Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 Was a dreadful sight. He got up and was really apologetic. Heartbreaking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Snooty Posted March 16, 2019 Author Share Posted March 16, 2019 5 minutes ago, Ever the pessimist said: Was a dreadful sight. He got up and was really apologetic. Heartbreaking. I'm surprised he wasn't apoplectic given the state of the píssers! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ever the pessimist Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 Surprised he wasn’t rushed to hospital to be honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Snooty Posted March 16, 2019 Author Share Posted March 16, 2019 5 minutes ago, Ever the pessimist said: Surprised he wasn’t rushed to hospital to be honest. If Stan Lee had been in charge of the episode then the boy would have aquired some sort of powers from this dreadful episode. Though God alone knows what they might be. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
33 Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 Luv U Stubbs 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morepork Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 Thanks Snoots. After the last 24hrs the distraction of footy is most welcome. I think we’ll make hard work of this one but ultimately we will prevail!!! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weshallovercome Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 (edited) Urinal Man, Pisterio, Professor P, Yellow Goblin.........erm.......I'm done. We'll win tomorrow.....erm.....today. Edited March 16, 2019 by Weshallovercome 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Tom Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 No mucking about tomorrow; if we're having a crack, we're having a crack. Give ourselves a fighting chance, that's all we can ask. To that end, every game remaining now is a do or die affair. The gloves need to be well and truly off. No more Mr. Nice Owls! C'MON THE WEDNESDAY. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S36 OWL Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 Brilliant work Mi`Lord I am slightly worried about Stubb`s well being though. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Snooty Posted March 16, 2019 Author Share Posted March 16, 2019 6 minutes ago, Weshallovercome said: Pisterio YES! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubbs Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 6 minutes ago, S36 OWL said: Brilliant work Mi`Lord I am slightly worried about Stubb`s well being though. Don't worry about me ,Sir. I'm off down the Nuns for some after bird. Have a good evening all. UTO 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Tom Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 13 minutes ago, Mr. Tom said: The gloves need to be well and truly off. No more Mr. Nice Owls! C'MON THE WEDNESDAY. Ahem .... as I was saying, no more Mr. Nice Owls! 2 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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