Popular Post Lord Snooty Posted January 27, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted January 27, 2019 (edited) “So Chelsea, Sir. A nice break in the normal routine. Something to look forward to.” “Chelsea eh…” “Yes Sir. I believe that’s what I said” “Not really Chelsea though is it.” “It isn’t?” “No. Not at all. They aren’t really Chelsea are they. Not really. Chelsea really stopped being Chelsea when the Russian came in. Sent everything scewywiffy. What they are now… that’s not Chelsea. No. Not a bit of it.” “Well, they are Sir. They have the same name they've always had. Same kit. Play in the same ground. They're definitely Chelsea ” “The same Ground?! Are you mad! It’s on the same spot Stubbs but it’s not the same ground. Blimey no. It’s a different place. Different club. Blimey, they were averaging 18,000 last time we were playing them every year.” “To be fair Sir, that was nigh on 20 years ago.” “Money has made them Stubbs. Nothing else. You don’t gain 20,000 supporters in a ten year window through breeding,no. It’s glory Stubbs. They’ve gained 20,000 come in for the Glory.” “Well, isn’t that the same for all Clubs Sir? You have a good run and your attendances go up. That’s how football generally works, you said so yourself only last week. I mean, if you look at the stats Wednesday have gained 8,000 fans since Alan Irvine left.” “Well, that’s my point! We’re proper Stubbs. We’re still Wednesday. Yes we’ve gained numbers over recent times again, but we’ve still been scrabbling about haven’t we. attendances have gone up. But it’s not like we’ve gained 8000 fans coming to watch the European Cup. It’s not like we have young kids desperate to get along because of some exotic players . Folks weren’t scrambling to get tickets to see James O’Conner scurrying about the place. They came back because …well, they believed better times were ahead.” “Well Chelsea fans might have come back because they ‘believed’ again Sir. They might have come back because they thought better times were ahead. And they have been right to think that because they have” “20,000 of them? No no. They’re new Stubbs, new. New affiliates.” “Affiliates? Look Sir, I know you’ve never been a big fan of Chelsea, but don’t you think you’re perhaps just trying too hard to discredit them. They’re a popular club, successful club with a large fanbase and-” “Well whatever! I don’t like it one bit Stubbs! Doug Rougvie, Gordon Durie and that big empty open ended stand with the disabled cars parked at the front. That’s Chelsea. ” “Was Chelsea Sir, you can’t live in a time warp.” “I haven’t had a bloody choice but to live in a sodding time-warp Stubbs!” “Sir, times change. You must adapt. Look at the beginning of the season, your first OMDT of the new campaign. You opened up by saying "Wigan were a 4th division club.” “They are!” “But they’re not Sir! They’re a Championship team, on merit, they play in a 25,000 Stadium. You can’t judge them on what they were 25 years ago. It’s only 5 years ago after all since they won the FA Cup. I mean, when did Wednesday last win the FA Cup?” “They’re bloody Rugby-walling pie munchers Stubbs! They belong in the 4th division playing in-front of a couple of thousand. You see, you see, this is exactly what I’m on about Stubbs. And you’ve bought it. This is what is wrong with the world. This is why the world has gone mad. This is why everything is wrong. Awfulness! Awfulness everywhere. This - that is to say "modern football" - is the very nucleus of the Worlds awfulness .It’s hub.” “A bit melodramatic Sir. I mean, Brexit, Trump, modern day slavery, foodbanks, there are more awful things in the world than Wigan not being in the 4th division and Chelsea being a super-club.” “Yes, yes. But why? Why Stubbs? Because things have been knocked off kilter. I mean, Bournemouth. In the bloody top flight. Bournemouth! Say it out loud to yourself.” “The thing is Sir-“ “Say it! Say it out loud!” “Very well. Bournemouth are a Premier League Club” “See Stubbs! See? See how wrong it sounds?” “What’s that got to do with starvation? Or people trafficking?” “Everything Stubbs, everything! Do you think Trump would have got in power in the real world?” “The real World Sir?” “Yes. The real world, because Stubbs, I’m starting to think this isn’t the real world anymore.” “This isn’t about Costellos pickle Jar again is it Sir?” “No. It’s Scudamore. He’s ruined the World. Him, Murdoch and Sugar. They’re knocked us out of our own time stream.” “Oh, here we go again” “Right, listen here Stubbs. Who do you think is the best player currently in the Premier League?” “Well that’s a tough one, possibly that De Bruyne Sir.” “Don’t even start me on City Stubbs, don’t even start me on City. A Club owned by a bloody country. Ye Gods. That’s a whole OMDT on it’s own. Pick another player.” “Hazard Sir” “Hazard. Right, now think back Stubbs to the last time you accompanied me to the Bridge.” “Sir it’s years ago I last went with you.” “Think.” “I don’t know, 86 maybe, or 87. I know it was freezing and we lost.” “How many there Stubbs?” “I don’t know without checking Sir.” “Well check!” “Hang on….right, he we go….it was February 1987, lost 2-0, attendance 12,493” “12,000 on a Saturday afternoon. In the top flight Stubbs. The top flight of English football. Can you remember that day. The ground?-“ “Yes Sir. It being freezing cold and awful, yes” “Right. Now keep that in your head. Now keep that image Stubbs, keep that mental image. Can you imagine Eden Hazard playing for them? That club. In that Stadium.” “No Sir” “Right. Well there go then. That’s what I’m saying. It’s wrong. It’s all gone to pot. The whole thing.” “But Sir-” “I’ll tell you something else Stubbs.” “Hmm?” “That Eddie Howe.” “What about him Sir?” “I think he’s an automaton.” “What? The Bournemouth manager Sir?” “Indeed. They can do all sorts these days. But there’s a giveaway Stubbs. A giveaway” “Really Sir...” “The mouth Stubbs, the mouth. You watch that mouth when he talks. Top lip never quavers. Not so much as a wibble. Then watch an old Gerry Anderson show. Captain Scarlet, Thunderbirds any of those. Then see the similarity” “Sir. Please…can we just do the match day thread.” “He’s an automaton Stubbs. I’m telling you. We ever get to the Premier League and visit Dean Court again and I’m going to rip his mask off and reveal his real robot cyborg face to the watching World Stubbs!” “Dean Court? Do you mean the Vitality Stadium Sir?” “This is exactly what I’m bloody well on about Stubbs! Exactly what I’m on about. The bloody Vitality Stadium indeed! Gordon Bennett! Bournmouth. In the top flight. The vitality bloody stadium.” “The thing is Sir. You’re a bit of a football romantic. I thought you’d be behind the ‘minnows doing well’ story, Sir” “Minnows doing well? By bloody cheating Stubbs.” “You mean administration Sir?” “It’s bloody well cheating Stubbs!” “If you say so Sir. Now, I have todays early team news-“ “It all started with squad numbers this did you know.” “What did?” “Football all going off kilter. Do you know what I heard the other day Stubbs? Someone called football boots ‘Cleats’. Bloody cleats I ask you! I mean what the hell is going on.” “I’ve got the Match facts Sir if you-“ “And I’ll tell you something else, that bloody Lovejoy.” “The antiques dealer?” “No, no, that smug chump off the telly. The one who did the cooking thing with the bald scouser” “Sir I really have no idea what-“ “He’s another one another reason it’s all gone tocock. With his laddy fake laugh, dumbing down of the game Stubbs. Bloody tekkers! Nauseatingly smug inane grin permanently etched across his clock. Good Heavens. Then kids watching it. A generation of kids grew up with that paphead. Thinking that’s what football is all about. No wonder they all walk about in Pink plastic boots at £200 a pop. The iconography of the madness of the new game. They’re made out of bloody cling film half of them.” “What are?” “Modern boots Stubbs, modern boots. What did you think I meant? There’s no quality control. Style over substance. Stitched plastic knocked together by some poor orphan in a sweat shop working for a multinational conglomerate who make a killing by persuading sunder-headed chumps to part with their cash so they can look like a modern player who spends half his time on his arris diving about. Man alive! Whatever happened to two players going full blooded into a 50/50 in a pair of Puma Kings and hammering each other. Gone are the days Stubbs. Cheap coloured bloody boots. No wonder they all have broken metatarsals Stubbs. Clingfilm boots! To kick their fly-away 50p shoot balls on their plastic bloody pitches.” “Sir we really must make a start on the..” “Computer games. They didn’t help. They encouraged an entire nation of Lovejoys. Smiley smiley, laughy laughy , chatty chatty fans. Beamingly and banally clucking to themselves about bloody back heeled penalties in the Peruvian third division , is it any wonder they developed an obsession with dropping in random foreign players into conversations. “Oh yeah Couto Van Di Mysterio, 15 years old, plays for Msiepyb in the Peruvian third, I’ve seen a lot of him, really good player in my opinion, someone we should look at”. Well I don’t Stubbs. And they haven’t bloody seen a lot of him at all. I think these kids should go out and get a job and stop being goons. And I blame him. Lovejoy, him and FIFA” “Gianni Infantino? Or the earlier Blatter regime?” “No. The computer game! That and bloody football manager.” “Sir please, stop…” “Nauseatingly self-assured Premier League fans fill the football world now Stubbs. Fill it. I never cease to be bombarded with posts on my news feeds, and is it really news Stubbs? No it’s not. It’s 13 year old blogging from his bedroom about how many Ballon ‘Dors Messi was won. And then a constant pinging while two more kids from Bombay…” “You mean Mumbai Sir?” “No I mean bloody Bombay, Stubbs! Two kids one from Bombay and one from sodding Cairo argue about who is better between Messi and Ronaldo. That’s not news. It’s bumph! And you daren’t leave a bloody comment on it yourself or else you have some lad from Nigeria leaping onto your feed telling you your support a crap club and that his team – Manchester City this year incidentally- are far better.” “Sir, kids have always looked and attached themselves to popular clubs of the day. It's nothing new!” “But it’s not just them Stubbs! Your grown man is at it now. Grown men...turned to airheads....they're no better than the kids! I heard a Leicester fan on the radio the other day and do you know what he said? Do you?! Do you know what he said? What he said with no irony, no self awareness?” “No Sir.” “He said that Puel had to go. Because….wait for it Stubbs, wait for it, because “We should be challenging for the Champions League spots.” Leicester Stubbs! Bloody Leicester City. Zero self awareness.” “Sir, they have won title so…maybe that’s not too much of a big ask….and you were as happy as anyone else when they won it!” “It was a fluke Stubbs. A fluke. And yes , yes I was pleased for them, because they are a small club who overcame Lottery winning odds to create the biggest sporting upset of all time.” “Of all time Sir?” “Yes, of all bloody time! The whole thing is a cartel! There’s only four clubs won the bloody league in the last 25 years Stubbs! Four! Then they won it. Of course it’s the biggest upset ever. Great shades of Elvis! You’d die a happy man if you won a fluke League title. I know I would. But no! Oh no! Now, now they think they’re under achieving. Underachieving Stubbs! Leicester City sat ninth in the bloody Premier League table and they think they’re underachieving! They’ve spent more than half their history in the second division and now they EXPECT to be challenging.” “Sir. Wednesday have just spent 20 years in the second and third division it doesn’t mean-” “Yes! And wrongly so we’ve been down there! It’s not right. Our KOP was the biggest standing terrace in Europe Stubbs!” “Yes, but that doesn’t win football matches Sir” “Well, no it doesn’t but bloody hell it should count for something! Not how many bloody twitter followers your centre forwards wife has got. It’s all wrong." "Hang on a moment Sir. Not 5 minutes ago you were saying that having big attendances like Chelsea and to a smaller scale Wigan, didn't mean they should be where they are" "Stop arguing Stubbs, you won't change my mind. Football is all wrong. Ohhhh, and don’t even start me on that new show on 5-live. Don’t even start me on that!” “But you love 5-Live Sir” “Loved Stubbs, loved past tense. I don’t love it now. Not with that new bloody show. Young gobby people on their now Stubbs, young people. People born after 1995 , modern fans, all supporting the big 4. Professional Vloggers. Did you know what was a job now Stubbs? Vlogging. It is you know. Videoing yourself talking absolute bolllocks. It is. And it’s lapped up by morons. Well anyway. Now they have a show. It’s awful and it’s full of these vacuous vloggers. Last week they were discussing “The hard times as a fan” and you know what they thought were the hard times Stubbs?” “No Sir” “I’ll tell you” “I thought you might…” “'Not winning the title' Stubbs. That’s it. Their idea of Hard times was 'not winning the title'. Having to “make do with Cups”, I kid you not Stubbs. I kid you not. Gods honest truth I nearly threw the wireless out of the window. You know what they call this show Stubbs? The Squad. Not in the sense of a football squad obviously, though there’s clearly the play on words with it, but no, it’s called the squad in some homage to daft language used by young people to describe a group of pals. This sort of crud started with that Lovejoy and look where it's ended up. The bloody Fresh Prince of Grange Hill show. Honestly Stubbs. The games gone. The game has absolutely gone! The media circus surrounding it has gone. All of it. It’s all totally and utterly fecked. There’s nothing Stubbs . Nothing. You’ve got lecherous agents sucking all they can from one end of the game and chump fans flicking their fingers and whooping ‘baller’ every time some chump makes a 10 yard pass at the other. The whole scale. It’s all gone. The whole soul has been nearly ripped from the game.” “So shall we not bother with the OMDT today then Sir?” “Oh no. We’ll do it Stubbs. We’ll do it. We have to do it. It’s the FA Cup. It’s the last bastion of what football should actually be about - Even though the BBC are trying to urbanise it by having Grime artists mumbling and heavy breathing while they show grainy shots of kids kicking a ball about infront of heavily graffitied shuttered shops on some sink estate in London – But ignore that, we have to look past that. I’m bothered Stubbs. Oh yes, I am bothered. I’m more bothered than I’ve been for a long time. We have to be bothered. We have to win this game. I mean, I don’t want to put pressure on our lads. But we have to win this bloody game. We have to win it for the good of the game. We have to win it to make some small ***** in redressing the balance of the football nature. We have to win this game Stubbs to restore some normalcy to the football world. We have to win this game for every long suffering fan of every none super-club who has stood in the pisssing rain watching a terrible football team week after week in a ruin of a ground . Not just Wednesday fans Stubbs, all fans of all the teams pushed out the road and crushed on the tidalwave of polish and glitter and marketing bullshite. We have to win this game for every double-denimed bloke who ever walked out of his job and crammed himself as fifth man into a Reliant Robin and travelled 100 miles to see his team stave off relegation to the fourth division. We have to win this game for young and old. We have to win this game so that young fans of glory teams can taste a bit of what our young fans have had dealt them their whole lives. Misery , desolation.... ....Oh I want to win this game Stubbs. You’d better believe me. In a crazy way I want us to win it more than any other I can remember for a long, long , long time. We must go to Bridge Stubbs and we must kill the dragon.” “Right. Well… You’d better look away now then Sir Chelsea v Wednesday The FA Cup - 4th Rnd Sunday 27th January Stamford Bridge Wednesday travel to the Bridge hoping to overcome a pretty poor record FA Cup meetings between the two sides stack the offs highly in the London teams favour with Wednesday getting just two competition wins in that time. Opta stats This is the 124th meeting in all competitions between Chelsea and Sheffield Wednesday but first since April 2000, a 1-0 win for the Owls at Hillsborough in the Premier League. Sheffield Wednesday have been eliminated from eight of their 10 FA Cup ties with Chelsea, last knocking them out in the 1965-66 semi-final. Chelsea have progressed from 47 of their last 49 FA Cup ties against non-Premier League sides, losing in March 2008 against Barnsley and January 2015 against Bradford City. Sheffield Wednesday are facing the holders of the FA Cup for the first time since the 1955-56 campaign, when they lost 1-3 against Newcastle in the third round. Chelsea striker Olivier Giroud has had a hand in seven goals in his last four FA Cup appearances against sides from outside the top-flight (5 goals, 2 assists), scoring in each of his last four appearances, including one for Chelsea against Hull. The Good news for Wednesday is that Chelsea are likely to make quite a few changes to their side. The bad news of course is that it is still likely to be a terrific side on paper. With this the line up that the London press are expecting-: . The Bookies seem pretty convinced their second string will have too much for Wednesday too They're offering 12/1 for a Wednesday win. .....and there's talk that Gonzalo Higuain, one of the most dangerous hitmen in Europe might make his debut. so as you can see Sir. It doesn't look good. It doesn't look good at all. Sir? Sir are you ok?" "Bugger it all Stubbs , I'm fine. I still think we can win. I still believe in magic." The Wednesday! Edited April 10, 2022 by Lord Snooty 34 10 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pazowl55 Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 Got a Reach screamer all over this one. 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morepork Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 Thanks Snoots. Hutch has been giving the team talk all week. Let's give him and us a memory we deserve!!! Play with pride and passion, that is all. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S36 OWL Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 3-0 Wednesday Dave Hat-trick 3 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spencerowl Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 PLEASE DONT QUOTE THAT 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S36 OWL Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 Just now, Spencerowl said: PLEASE DONT QUOTE THAT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReginaldD Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 Come on Wednesday, let's get a win/draw. Roared on by and almost 6000 others. I can see goal from an unlikely source Then we'll bring them back to Hillsborough for to finish the job. Bringing great pleasure to with prize money and gate receipts from a packed Hillsborough for the replay. Come on Wednesday!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sternlad Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 Nice rant Snoots! Really, really hoping for a good result and a fighting performance. Come on you blue and white wizards...sorry, anthracitic obsidian. Beers in, telly on and away we go. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kendoddsdadsdogsdead Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 Best OMDT thread ever....fact. Spat me tea all over my computer screen reading the bit about boots, much to the annoyance of my boss. Couple more hours at work, then coach darn ta Lundon in the morning. To all those making the trip, have a safe journey. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
millomowl Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 Fantastic observations of what our wonderful game has become since today’s opponents stepped upon gold and we stepped on something else. Hope we can put on a show tonight and make the world aware that the massive are awake, we’re a proper club with amazing history and unreal support. Alarm set early for me down in the colony. 1-0 Reach......20 yards or 30 yards everywhere we go! WAWAW 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weshallovercome Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 Brilliant Snoots and I read it all I've got a good feeling about tomorrow/today, not entirely sure why, but we can do this. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trumbullowl Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 Great read Snoots. I hope we give this everything, the lads have a chance at glory here. It made me so angry when Rafa Benitez said Newcastle couldn't go all out in the FA Cup as staying in the Prem was 'all that mattered'. Summing up the grim joyless reality of top flight football. It's all wrong, as you so eloquently ranted. COME ON WEDNESDAY! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommyCraig Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 Quality OMDT and I agree with the sentiment of it. I do wonder about all this bought and paid for glory in football these days and what it really means to the fans whose teams are involved in it. I wonder if winning the FA Cup last year had the same effect on a Chelsea fan as winning the lesser regarded League Cup in 91 had on me. Did it move you in ways you didn't even know you can be moved? Did it make you incredibly proud of your city, your club and everyone involved in it, your fellow supporters and yourself for being part of it all? I might be wrong but I don't think it did. Listen to those travelling fans when you take to the pitch today boys. That will be truly Premier league. And fight from start to finish, even if we fall miles behind. That will be truly Sheffield Wednesday. That's all I want to see. Up the Owls. 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flo Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 A cautious 3-0 to Wednesday is my prediction. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Costello 77 Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 That Eddie Howe reminds me of my lad and his clean cut mates...the boring shower that they all are. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dewsburyowl58 Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 You ok Snoots ? Had a right go there didn’t you , boots made out of Clingfilm you say !! Haha . The stats fill me with dread but it’s a funny ole game they say . Safe journey to all you wonderful fans travelling darn sarf , have a great day and sing your hearts out , can’t wait to hear hi ho and the Reach song .Its the telly box for me with a cup of tea . Make us proud lads WAWAW. Cheers Snoots 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Snooty Posted January 27, 2019 Author Share Posted January 27, 2019 11 minutes ago, Costello 77 said: That Eddie Howe reminds me of my lad and his clean cut mates...the boring shower that they all are. Too many lads growing up with too many of these as hero's And not enough of these 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nevthelodgemoorowl Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 That is all I have to say other than.. COME ON WEDNESDAY LET'S DO THIS WAWAW UTODTB ! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alanharper Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 I've gone from the "ohfuckwe'regonnagetbattered" reaction to the draw, to now being reyt excited about going to an away match for the first time in ages. Even though we'll probably still get battered. That said, I've been to Chelsea 3 times before and never seen us concede a goal there so that's a good omen and as long as they don't significantly boost that average I'll be happy. I'll be mentally comparing the ground to the good old days though, terraces a mile from the action, Shezza outclassing Vinny Jones, Andy Townsend and co on a mudbath of a pitch, and the distinct possibility of getting assaulted after the game. And it cost about £10 to get in. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Snooty Posted January 27, 2019 Author Share Posted January 27, 2019 13 minutes ago, alanharper said: I've been to Chelsea 3 times before and never seen us concede a goal there so that's a good omen You see, these are the sort of match stats I prefer to hear! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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