Popular Post Lord Snooty Posted December 29, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted December 29, 2018 (edited) "Stubbs, what are you doing here?" "It's time for the Match day thread Sir." "I know. But what are you doing here?" "Well it is customary is it not Sir, for me to bring you all the details of the weeks goings on." "Yes. But with this being the new year episode and what not I thought I'd do a bit of a monologue. You know, go through the happenings of the last year and what not like Clive Anderson used to do on the telly." "But this isn't the new year thread Sir. It's the 28th. The new Year thread isn't untill Tuesday" "Tuesday? What day is it today?" "It is Friday Sir." "Well how's a man to remember that sort of thing! I mean to say, it's Christmas for heavens sake. No one has any bloody idea what actual day of the week it is do they. I mean, It's Christmas eve, Christmas day, boxing day, that funny day in between when everyone is trumping the sprouts out and what have you. How's a man to know what bloody day it is!" "Very true Sir. Though that isn't really an excuse that would stand up in a court of law" "Why would it need to stand up in a court of law?" "Well Sir, if for example you had forgotten a court summons. "Christmas eve, Christmas day I'd had a few sherrys" isn't going to wash as an excuse really is it." "Forestieri" "Forestieri Sir" "Welllllll...I mean to say. He's forgotten hasn't he. Easy to do. Little nipper running about the place all excited. Last thing you're thinking about is a trip to sodding Mansfield 6 months ago and a bit of argy-bargy. Hey! Argy-bargy. Do you get it?! that should have been the thread title." "Yes Sir. Very Kelvin McKenzie" "Well like I said.... kid running about all excited and what not. Father Christmas coming to drop off the presents. What did he ask for by the way?" "Client confidentiality Sir. I can't..." "Humph. Well....anyway... Well done on that by the way. I didn't twig it at first. One of the chaps had to put me right. But well done" "Thank you Sir. I was hoping I might get some time off next year to do the same again. What with the old uncles diabetes and angina" "Certainly not! Tell him to drink less!" "But Sir, you did say-" "No!. It's all good for a one off. Helping the kids and what not. But I mean to say, what about me Stubbs. What about me!" "You're middle aged Sir, you don't get gifts from Father Christmas you-" "I'm not on about gifts man. I'm on about being abandoned on Christmas day!" "The agency cook was here Sir." "And don't I know it Stubbs. Don't I bloody know it. Do you know what I had for Christmas day dinner while you were off gallivanting? Eh? Do you?" "No Sir." "I'll tell you. A Findus bloody crispy pancake and some bloody oven chips. And they weren't even proper oven chips. They were fries. Fries Stubbs. On Christmas bloody day. I mean where the hell did you get her from." "The agency Sir. She'd got a decent C.V." "Yes, 'She's worked with Jamie Oliver.' you told me." "That's what it said on her CV-" "Oh really Stubbs. Really? It's interesting you should say that because when I asked her where she came from she said she was from Rotherham and when I pushed her about the Oliver bit... it turned out she was one of this bints pushing burgers through the bloody school gates!" "Oh." "Oh indeed Stubbs. Oh in-bloody-deed. Anyway. You're not going next year." "I've got you that train-set, Sir." "Train set?" "The one you wanted when you were ten. But which you never received on account of your father leaving you at boarding school with the..." "Mebrible.mwa ahahahahah" "There there Sir it's all right. Don't cry Sir" "The thread...waaghh,....(blubber)...the bloody thread Stubbs" West Brom - V - Wednesday "Right, well Sir. West Bromwich Albion will assess 13-goal top scorer Dwight Gayle before the visit of The Wednesday. Hal Robson-Kanu may deputise again, having replaced the on-loan Newcastle striker who hurt a hamstring setting up Jay Rodriguez's opener in the 2-0 Boxing Day win over Wigan. Wednesday could be unchanged after their , 1-0 win at Middlesbrough- on Boxing Day " "After their Excellent one 1-0 win at Middlesbrough, Stubbs" "Very well Sir. Ahem, Wednesday could be unchanged after their Excellent, 1-0 win at Middlesbrough- on Boxing Day" "That's better. Positive spin anD all that. It's all in the wording Stubs. That's why they call it spelling you know" "Pardon Sir?" "Words, how they're slung together. Spelling. Spell. Cast a spell." "I'm Sorry Sir but I'm just trying to read the notes" "It's word play Stubbs. Word play. Cast a spell on the reader. The hacks have been doing it for years. Look at the locals. Wednesday win it's 'Wednesday won at boro. But when United win it's 'Brilliant United win at...' Do you see? It's a weapon. They're all magicians conning us with their slight of hand or word. Your words can create the imagery, the belief. Cast that spell" "Like your nut-custard in the other thread Sir." "That's a bit different. But yes." "Hang on Sir, are you trying to that......are you trying to tell me that Doom, Shield all those chaps...are sorcerers Sir?" "In a fashion Stubbs yes. Not a powerful ones. I never fall for the necromancy. But it works on some. So we must work our own spells." "Right Sir. Well, cracking on, Wednesday will have to assess Lucas Joao and Josh Onomah who both had to go off against Midlesbrough and Fernando Forestieri could again miss out with a hamstring injury or being in the clink." "Stubbs!" "Sorry Sir. I mean, Forestieri looks likely to miss out... but isn't far away from full fitness and will provide a timely boost going into January" "You're getting it Stubbs, you're getting it!" "Wednesday are back up to 16th in the Championship table, having won both games 1-0 under the caretaker charge of Lee Bullen" "Stubbs! come on man, think!" "I mean, Wednesday are back up to 16th in the Championship table, having won both games 1-0 with two brilliant and full deserved clean sheets under the excellent stewardship of caretaker manager of Lee Bullen, who has won over both players and fans with his no nonsense approach and excellent man-management skills...." "Superb Stubbs. Superb" "Albion's eight-match unbeaten run, which has lifted them back up to third, has coincided with their change of formation from three at the back to 4-3-3." "Eight matches?" "Eight Sir.It's hard to put a negative spin on that" "We don't have to. Pass me the pen.....here ....Try this." "Albion's eight-match unbeaten run, which has lifted them back up to third, has coincided with their change of formation from three at the back to 4-3-3 , something that Wednesday will be hoping to replicate with their own recent use of the same system." "Much better." "But Sir. The match facts are next. And I'm not sure how we can spin that..." "Give me the pen again Stubbs.... ..........There. That's better." "I think people are going to notice you've just crossed it all out. Sir" "Nonsense Stubbs. Anyway I've another little trick up the old sleeve. Pass me that folder over there." "What's in it Sir?" "Big picture of Westwood and Hutchinson. People will soon forget the match facts!" "You genuinely think that will make people more positive...and ignore the fact you're playing one of the divisions strongest sides and from teams." "I don't think it Stubbs. I know it." COME ON WEDNESDAY! Edited March 9, 2021 by Lord Snooty 25 6 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morepork Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 (edited) Come on Bully!! Let's make it 3 from 3. Onwards and upwards. Actually excited about matchday's again, that can only be a good thing. Edited December 29, 2018 by Morepork 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sage owl Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 Better late than never m,lud. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OWLERTON GHOST Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 Brilliant post as ever Snoots .. I'll finish reading it in the morning. Just got to the crispy pancake bit n started salivating. .. 2 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WalthamOwl Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 Excellent OP as always. Very tough game, they have some excellent players especially up top. Would be over the moon with a point. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronio Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 Yep, we'll win. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
33 Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 Foookin mental Top Stuff but mental Well done Mi' Lud Fancy the hat-trick of wins today... Why not...? C'MON WEDNESDAY 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doghouse Daz Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 Just soddin paste em lads, you know you've got it in yer. Believe. Brom 1 Owls 3 COME ON WEDNESDAY !!! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Snooty Posted December 29, 2018 Author Share Posted December 29, 2018 10 minutes ago, Morepork said: Come on Bully!! Let's make it 3 from 3. Onwards and upwards. Actually excited about matchday's again, that can only be a good thing. Not sure what news on Joao or Onomah. But could it be that if one of them doesn't make it then George Boyd comes in from the cold? Released from his frozen shackles by Bully? And maybe even be played in the position where he's played great swathes of his career -as an attacker? One thing is for sure. I think as a former defender Bully will try and keep with the same back line where possible and unless anyone has picked up any knocks back there you can't see him changing the defence. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i used to be sc_owl Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 If we don’t win we can forget about the play-offs 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S36 OWL Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 We beat the Smoggies on boxing day , why cant we make it a double on the road 2-1 wednesday 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev Owl Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 (edited) Thanks MiLord. Bit of a day or two thread wise, bit of turbulence on the good ship Owlstalk. Anyway head says we won't win three on the bounce so 0-2. Heart says probably won't win three on the bounce 1-1. UTO On a side note FF could always try 'seeking sanctuary.' (and hope the authorities are traditionally minded, it ceased to be law in C17th ) Edited December 29, 2018 by Rev Owl 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edmontonowl Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 @Lord Snootyclearly gone mad. Can I join you. Seems a saner place to be. I expect we'll get tonked but fancy us for forthright draw Or a sneaky 1-0 It's 'Boro all over again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orlando_Trustful Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 I smell another win. 0 v 1 Fox (67) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dewsburyowl58 Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 We owe them one for letting them off the hook at home , Hope the diving little strange one doesn’t make it , Exellent stuff as always old boy . Isn’t her ladyship a good cook then , cook I said !! . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dewsburyowl58 Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 7 minutes ago, Orlando_Trustful said: I smell another win. 0 v 1 Fox (67) Smells like roses then , Fox Now that would be something . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nevthelodgemoorowl Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 Still 11 v 11 the only difference is we have a few proper mesters in the line up and a little bit of a track record for injury time winners at the baggies. Pugh and Shirty in my memory box featuring in 2-1 wins. So I'll keep my fingers crossed for same again (Sod our clean sheet when points are at stake). Come on Wednesday with Snoots behind you, you can't go wrong. Even BFR will be behind you. WAWAW UTO & DTB. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Snooty Posted December 29, 2018 Author Share Posted December 29, 2018 15 minutes ago, edmontonowl said: @Lord Snootyclearly gone mad. Can I join you. Seems a saner place to be. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flo Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 It's Saturday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roscoe P. Coltrane Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 THE WEDNESDAY 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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