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Lord Snooty

SWANSEA - WEDNESDAY OMDT

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11 hours ago, Lord Snooty said:

 

 

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 "So Westwood has asked to play for the under 23's Sir.."

  "Yes, and?"

  "Well, a senior pro having to ask to play a game. It comes to something Sir.."

  "Well not really Stubbs. How old is Westwood?"

  "Thirty four Sir"

  "Thirty four. Right, well, there's your answer. Twenty three and under -play in the under twenty threes. It's a team for the  twenty three or unders and you probably have to make it known to those running that team that you might like a run out. Seems like common sense to me"

  "Yes, but I'm referring more to the fact that if he's not in the first team then you'd have expected him to have been playing a lot more games for the under twenty threes as a matter of course. Get him in the shop window etc not having to ask"

  "Perhaps he was asked to play in the under twenty threes earlier in the season and thought it was beneath him? An affront to his reputation"

  "Well.."

  "And perhaps when you've said no to something once, people don't ask you again and the ball ends up in your court"

  "It's not my view Sir, I'm just trying to play devils advocate"

  "Well don't. And I'll tell you another thing. None of this would be an issue if for some reason the stiffs hadn't been done away with. I think it was Keegan who started that malarky. Well if I had my way there'd be a proper stiffs league set up again. Then every sod in the squad could get a game once a week and permanently be in the bloody shop window. And that wouldn't be a bloody bad thing either considering how many we need to shift."

 "I know what you're saying Sir. But last year you barely had enough fit players to put a first team out, never mind a team of reserves."

  "Well that's when the kids step up into the stiffs then isn't it? Test themselves a bit more against more manly opposition without being thrust under the stage lights of the first eleven and all the pressure that comes with it. Playing against more seasoned pros and other young kids with a bit more experience than you.  That's never a bad thing. The very idea that there are is no stiffs league anymore is entirely alien to me and I'll never believe that ditching it has been a good idea."

 

Image result for kevin keegan

 

  "You must move with the times Sir."

  "I don't want to bloody move with the times. Talk about throw the baby out with the bath water. It makes me sick! And I'll tell you something else as well.."

  "I'm sure, Sir"

  "Away kits. When there's no clash. What in the absolute name of twattery is that all about?"

  "I suspect it's probably something to do with the deals the clubs do with the shirt manufacturers Sir, based on the idea-"

  "I don't actually want to know Stubbs, for Gods sake. I'm just saying I think it's shyte. And it's shyte for shytes sake. If we're playing Arsenal I want to beat them in their red jerseys with white arms. If we're playing and beating Manchester United I want them in Red shirts and white shorts. I mean, the game is made of the imagery. It's the imagery in our heads... that's all we've got when all is said an done. That's what the game is all about. Memories. Images. And those images should be correct. Not all fannied up on the whim of some gimp with too many crayons."

  "It's not the designers faults I wouldn't have thought Sir."

  "Well, whoever. It's wrong and it mightily wee wees me off."

  "What kit would you like to beat Swansea in tomorrow Sir?"

  "Bloody... any!"

  "Well there we go then Sir."

  "But I'd prefer us in blue and white stripes and them in their white. I mean whats so hard about it. Football is simple. You play in these colours. They play in those colours and you both try and kick a ball in the other teams goal. For crying out loud. Why do they mess with things. What's so hard about it!"

  "Well, scoring goals and defending by the looks of your recent record Sir"

  "Oh that's very glib Stubbs. Very glib. Deary me. Just get on with it . Just get on with it. And whisper it. So the other OMDT'ers can hear it but not me. I've just about had enough at the minute."

 

SWANSEA - V - WEDNESDAY

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  "Swansea are sweating on the fitness of Wilfried Bony for the Championship match with Sheffield Wednesday. The Ivory Coast striker is doubtful due to tightness in a calf muscle."

  "Ironic name really that. Bony. The mans built like a brick shithouse"

  "I thought you weren't listening to this bit Sir."

  "I'm not, I'm not. Carry on."

  " Wednesday will be without suspended midfielder Barry Bannan for the next two games after his 10th yellow card of the season at Rotherham last week. Owls forward Fernando Forestieri (hamstring) remains unavailable with strikers Gary Hooper (groin) and Sam Winnall (hamstring) also out. While Swansea left-back Martin Olsson will miss the rest of the season after rupturing an Achilles tendon at Brentford last weekend. There is talk of s shock recall for Sam Hutchinson"

  "Hutchinson? I thought he would never play again as he's off to embargoed QPR in January"

  "Sir, I know you want to take your anger out on someone, but I'm literally just reading the news. It's nothing to do with me or my views"

  "Hmph. Carry on."

  "The match facts... 


MATCH FACTS 

**

  • Swansea City, then under former Owls boss Carlos Carvalhal, beat Sheffield Wednesday 2-0 at the Liberty Stadium last season in an FA Cup fifth-round replay.

 

  • Wednesday have not scored a single goal in their last five matches against Swansea in all competitions.

 

  • Swansea have lost back-to-back Championship games at the Liberty Stadium. The Swans last lost three consecutive home league games outside the top flight in April 2004, whilst in the fourth tier of English Football.

 

  • Wednesday have not won an away match in Wales in all competitions in their last 11 attempts.

 

  • Of goalkeepers to have played at least three Championship games so far this season, only Reading's Anssi Jaakkola (76%) and Middlesbrough's Darren Randolph (81.82%) have a higher save percentage than Swansea's Erwin Mulder (74.14%).

 

  • Wednesday have won just one of their last nine Championship games - a 1-0 victory against Bolton in November.

 

  "Finished?"

  "Yes Sir"

  "Good. Off you go then"

  "Sir. Before I go. I just thought I should mention."

  "What?"

  "I'm not sure we should have used that picture of Keegan"

  "You know the rules Stubbs - there has to be a picture every few lines to keep those with short attention spans interested. Break up the page"

  "I know, but Sir, What I meant was. Some people don't even read them Sir. The pictures aren't just nice text breakers for  some people. For some people they, the pictures are literally the only thing they see."

  "The dunderheads, yes and?"

  "Keegan picture....on Owlstalk....during turbulent times..."

  "Good Lord, you're right Stubbs..totally unfounded rumours...quick. Delete the image"

  "I'm afraid it's too late Sir ,some fruitcake has already seen the picture and run with it.."

 

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  "Oh my word. And you know what happens as soon as some goon has a barmy idea and puts it to print on here"

  "I do Sir"

  "Whats that look Stubbs. Oh no! It hasn't has it not already?!"

  "It has Sir"

  "But the looney only posted it on Owlstalk two minutes ago and he can only have got the idea himself  from the Keegan picture posted in our match day thread just four minutes before that!"

  "You know how nonsense and misinformation spreads at speed Sir"

  "Ye Gods! This madness will never end!"

 

 

 

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Who better than Zindane?

 

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matchday again 

 

Deep joy

 

:goalie:

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Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more;
Or close the wall up with our English dead.
In peace there's nothing so becomes a man
As modest stillness and humility:
But when the blast of war blows in our ears,
Then imitate the action of the tiger;
Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood,
Disguise fair nature with hard-favour'd rage;
Then lend the eye a terrible aspect;
Let pry through the portage of the head
Like the brass cannon; let the brow o'erwhelm it
As fearfully as doth a galled rock
O'erhang and jutty his confounded base,
Swill'd with the wild and wasteful ocean.
Now set the teeth and stretch the nostril wide,
Hold hard the breath and bend up every spirit
To his full height. On, on, you noblest English.
Whose blood is fet from fathers of war-proof!
Fathers that, like so many Alexanders,
Have in these parts from morn till even fought
And sheathed their swords for lack of argument:
Dishonour not your mothers; now attest
That those whom you call'd fathers did beget you.
Be copy now to men of grosser blood,
And teach them how to war. And you, good yeoman,
Whose limbs were made in England, show us here
The mettle of your pasture; let us swear
That you are worth your breeding; which I doubt not;
For there is none of you so mean and base,
That hath not noble lustre in your eyes.
I see you stand like greyhounds in the slips,
Straining upon the start. The game's afoot:
Follow your spirit, and upon this charge
Cry 'God for Wednesday, Hillsborough, and Ozzie Owl!'
 
Or tl'dr; Up the Owls!
 
lol
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4 minutes ago, Ozymandias Owl said:

 

Who better than Zindane?

 

TELEMMGLPICT000164718597_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqJcyY0w_KQheFdlE5hpILPpZTXWOlVNltXzsNMzMjvSA.jpeg

 

A full O.P quote is brave in these tense times.

Good luck! 

 

Kramer-downvote.gif.0cd839cb9c22442265d4b51775d51588.gif

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And another thing, what is it with the  press changing the White rose of Yorkshire to the red rose of Lancashire on our club badge?

 

Sheffield is in Yorkshire. Wednesday have never been associated with red, and yet this keeps on happening.

 

WTF:

 

That said Come on Wednesday.

 

I predict a Clean sheet and a Lucas João thunderbolt, and anger spreading to South Wales.

 

Swansea 0 Wednesday 1

 

 

image.png.2f1a90f4475b45807ef7c268a12342ac.png

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Wonder what tactical masterclass Jos will treat us to today ? :picnic:

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4 minutes ago, Lord Snooty said:

 

A full O.P quote is brave in these tense times.

Good luck! 

 

Kramer-downvote.gif.0cd839cb9c22442265d4b51775d51588.gif

Lazy and misjudged.

 

Apologies all.

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Van Aken and Jones just stepped off the bus, no sign of Westwood or Hutchinson yet. 

 

 

Edited by Welsh76

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So what’s going to come out of Jos’ magic hat today

 

im going to guess at this

 

                    Dawson

            Lees.  Hector Pudil 

Palmer.                                   Fox

       Onoma pelupessy Reach

 

                  Joao Fletcher 

 

Swansea 2 (without getting out of second gear)

Wednesday 0

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1 hour ago, Athelwulf said:

 

That, indeed, would be stunning.

 

A 4-0 defeat, however, would not.

Oh, it would still stun but I don't feel the pain any longer :duntmatter:

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Thinking this'll be another tonking. 4-1 Swansea. Tumultuous few days ahead if Jos isn't gone by tonight. 

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Shock to see David Jones there, can only be to cover on the bench with Bannan out

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32 minutes ago, SallyCinnamon said:

So Jones is in the squad.

 

Doesn’t play for months and then all of a sudden back in the squad. Maybe Jos is regretting freezing out the more experienced players in the squad. 

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Hector and Fletcher on the bench 

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