Popular Post Lord Snooty Posted November 8, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted November 8, 2018 (edited) "Right Stubbs I've been thinking I might do todays OMDT as a monologue. You know, a bit like Ronnie Corbett." "Ronnie Corbett?" "Look I've set the video camera up. So when I say so set it recording." "Why don't I just use my phone Sir, it's got 6 million mega pix-" "Stubbs; the camcorder" "Very good Sir." "Right. Just press the red button. Have you done it?" "Yes Sir but-" "Can you count me in" "3-2-1..." "Right . Ahem. (cough!) Evening Owlsfans! So then, old Wilder has been throwing out the bait and we've been greedily feeding on it. Deary me! Grown men falling hook line and sinker for the Kidderminster mans terrible and blatant schoolboy level beginners mind-games it really is enough to make a cat laugh and-" "Kidderminster Sir?" "What? Stubbs, for God sake man I'm trying to do the monologue" "You said he was from Kidderminster Sir." "Well isn't he? You've heard him talk." "I have Sir and I wouldn't have pinned it as Worcestershire" "No?" "No Sir, he's got a most definite Bedfordshire accent. I'm thinking perhaps Luton." "Now you've said it Stubbs I think you might be right. There's is a bit of that southernish twang. Doesn't pronounce his words properly does he?" "He 'finks' a lot Sir" "I doubt that Stubbs he's as mince as the rest of them." "I mean his 'tees and aitches', he doesn't do them Sir." "He doesn't does he.." "Though In my experience not many United fans do" "You're right there Stubbs. In that sense he really is one of their own isn't he. Anyway. You've knocked me off Kilter. Where was I?" "Wilder banging the drum about how our manager doesn't know what this game means. How he doesn't get it like him and his pals do." "Mwhahehh" "Sir?" "The idea that Lahukay wouldn't 'get' what a Derby match means. I mean really." "Wilder said that as a game it's the bigges-.." "Well what was his previous biggest derby match? Northampton versus MK Dons?" "I know, I'm just saying what he's said. It's a game that him and his pals-" "Paheheheheh!" "What now?" "Him having friends. You really have to hand it to him. It's right up there isn't it. He's a fantastical mind for fiction. Him and Shield should right kiddies fiction. Mind, you're right. I shouldn't laugh. It's not funny really, some people are actually taking all this waffle in as gospel Stubbs!" "But you said it's all complete and obvious nonsense?" "I know that. You know that. We all know that. But the blunts will be lapping it up won't they." "Yes, but Wednesday fans aren't falling for it thought are they Sir?" "Well, I'm afraid they are Stubbs. I'm afraid they are" "But how? It's Billy Bunter Stuff" "Because we're having a bad run. And when you're having a bad run you see what the neighbours are up to and it always seems they are having a much better time than you. Having more fun. Have a better looking girlfriend." "Blimey Sir." "Blimey indeed Stubbs. But that's what losing football matches does to people. They see our manager quiet, composed and they see theirs all gobby and slavvering and because they're above us think maybe that's what we need. Some lippy swine who'll shout and bawl at the players pumping them up in the dressing room. Screaming at them. Not a quiet bloke like we have who keeps saying 'the players have done their preparation in the week." "But Sir, hang on a moment " "What?" "That's exactly what Wilder has said too" "What?" "That's exactly what Wilder said too I've got it here." "Your point Stubbs?" "Well how can one man get pummelled for saying it and the other not get pummelled for saying the same thing and having the same approach?" "Perception Stubbs. It's all about perception. And that, sadly, is one area where Wilder does have the trump card." "And hows that Sir?" "He has the local media eating out of his trotter." "Really?" "Really. When for example did they last ask him if Conor Washington was being frozen out? When did they last ask him why he'd signed Ben Woodburn on loan and then given him just 13 minutes of football? They don't. It's all positive spin on everything that comes out of the stain. And negative that comes from ours." "I'm sorry Sir. I didn't mean to upset you." "Well you have! And now I've completely lost my thread. Turn the camcorder off, this segment is ruined." "Well I was trying to tell you Sir. There's no film in it anyway." "For fuc-" "Would you like to see the League tables Sir?" "No." "I've got them right here Sir" "Do you see that Stubbs" "Well yes Sir I've just given it to you" "But do you actually see where the teams are? How many goals they've scored? How many they've conceded? How many places are between them? How many points are between them?" "Well yes, Sir" "Now look at the back of The Star. What does it say?" "Oh" "Yes 'Oh' indeed Stubbs. Oh indeed. Now turn inside the back page. What does that say?" "Right. Now you've seen the table haven't you Stubbs." "Yes Sir." "And do those articles have any basis in reality when you look at that League table? " "No Sir. Not at all" "No. Exactly. And that's why two men can get different responses for the same preparations. Twisted perceptions .Now throw that rag in the bin" "Right" " Bloody Blavdes! Bloody Stir." "Oh Sir, before I forget, I've printed the form guide here." "Throw that out of the window" "I can just put them in the bin with the-" "Out the window stubbs! Out of the window. We do our derby day clichés correct around here." "Very good Sir." "Right then. That's that. You're dismissed." "Hang on a moment Sir." "What?" "If form goes out of the window....then doesn't that mean that is there are no favourites? You're not attempting your own mind games here are you Sir" "Get out!" "Very good Sir" COME ON WEDNESDAY! Edited March 9, 2021 by Lord Snooty 24 8 17 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sw1867 Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 What ever the result, hold your head up and never feel embarrassed to be Wednesday. Older Bigger Better. 5 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pablo Bonvin Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 UTO FTB 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greengrass Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 (edited) We'll never be mastered by them Shoreham bar stewards ............ Edited November 8, 2018 by Greengrass 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev Owl Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 Well done Snoots Mi Lord. Loved the fake news angle. I won't say what the head is saying because it's been right too often recently. Heart says 0-2 right in their own back yard. Either way it's great to win, disappointing to lose, but no more and no less than that. UTO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Snooty Posted November 8, 2018 Author Share Posted November 8, 2018 1 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BRADDO Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 Snoots, congratulations on another masterpiece. Let's do this ladies and gentlemen. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dukeries Owl Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 19 minutes ago, A12owl said: You must have wanted to get that off your chest your highness. You are 30 minutes early. Let's hope we get an early goal tomorrow (tonight) and hold on for a 1-0 win. Our luck/plan/fortunes/team selection has got to work sometime soon. Friday 9th November 2018 is the day things are gonna change. Up the Owls. A clean sheet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post WindygrOWLer Posted November 9, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted November 9, 2018 Clearly you CAN put lipstick on a pig... UTO 14 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BARMYARMY2010 Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 1 hour ago, sw1867 said: What ever the result, hold your head up and never feel embarrassed to be Wednesday. Older Bigger Better. Never Have,Never will. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
offalyowl Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 A classic thread snoots, let's hope this game will also be a classic and we come away with 3 points, honestly don't care if we get beat if our boys show up and give a good account of themselves and fight for every ball till the very last minute, we should sneak a 2-1 win hopefully uto Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HootHoot Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 Anybody else feeling pumped up after today? Something about that press conference really got me psyched up for this. Uto ftb! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Ronio Posted November 9, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted November 9, 2018 Morning all, Nice work Snoots. Time for us to stop the rot, and time to back the manager in this one. All I ask for, is that our players give it everything. Will be an end to end game for sure, but I believe we will come out winners on the night. 3-2 Wednesday win. Nando with a last minute winner. Lets give the porkers a ruddy good stuffing!! COME ON WEDNESDAY!!! 1 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Otley Owl Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 Genius. Come on Wednesday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S36 OWL Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S36 OWL Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
33 Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 Bravo everyone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orlando_Trustful Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 Dreading it. Absolutely dreading it. 3 v 0 Blunt (9) Blunt (29) Blunt (67) They will bombard us early on and I just cannot see us withstanding much pressure. Norwich literally waltzed through us with ease last week. Dawson and our defence are going to be bricking it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samurai Blue Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 (edited) Really excited for this game. Feels like this could be the turning point for our season. A catalyst for a sea-change in morale across the club. I’ll be getting up before the sun rises here in Japan to watch the game online. COME ON YOU OWLS!!! 43 minutes ago, Orlando_Trustful said: Dreading it. Absolutely dreading it. 3 v 0 Blunt (9) Blunt (29) Blunt (67) They will bombard us early on and I just cannot see us withstanding much pressure. Norwich literally waltzed through us with ease last week. Dawson and our defence are going to be bricking it. Actually, fûck it. I could do with a lie in. Edited November 9, 2018 by Samurai Blue 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
full fathom five Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 COME ON WEDNESDAY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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