Popular Post Lord Snooty Posted October 22, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted October 22, 2018 (edited) Knock! knock! Knock! Knock! Knock! Knock! Knock! "Sir are you ok in there? Sir?! It's time to do the Match day thread. Sir?" "Erm...yes...erm...come in Stubbs... come in" "Good evening Sir, I have brought the ....oh no Sir..... really, not again. Please tell me you're not watching it again .Honestly, nothing good can come from it you know. Really, it won't do any good. It's gone. Yesterdays news. " "I know.... I know" "Then you really must snap out of it. You've been watching it for nearly 72 hours. There's other games. You said yourself it was a once in a lifetime balls up" "I know Stubbs. I know. But can't help it. It really is one of the most remarkable things I've ever seen. I mean, people say he's not a great passer of a ball, but I have to say - If he could weight a diagonal thru-ball like that at the other end of the pitch he'd be worth £40m!" "Sir dwelling won't do any good." "Oh don't worry Stubbs, I'm not dwelling. Really, I'm not. But it draws me, like a moth to the flame. It's just like when you find a scabby, dead, maggot infested bird for the first time as a kid , it's awful, horrifying, but you can't help yourself it intrigues as much as it repulses. I just can't help looking at it Stubbs. Even now, watching it for days on end I have no idea at all what he was trying. Some people are saying it was a back pass, but it wasn't aimed at goal. Some people thought it was a square pass. In which case it's even worse. I just.I have no idea at all what was happening." "Well there's one good thing about it Sir. At least it takes the pressure off the young goalkeeper for a bit. Takes him out of the firing line." "Oh it hasn't Stubbs, it hasn't. He's still had a couple of days of 'flapper this' and 'flapper that'. Even with the horrifying events in front of him. It's bizarre really as the other young lads in the side seem to have half gotten away with their stinkers." "Well.....once people have made up their minds on something Sir. Dog with a bone an all that" "Yes. I suppose. My God Stubbs, I just can't believe this goal. It's still surprising me on the 10,000th viewing." "Sir, you must stop. Please snap out of it." . "You're quite right of course Stubbs. I can't let myself become obsessed with the little things. It's football isn't it. Cockups are made. Everyone makes them. He's not the first, he won't be the last. Dear me, I'm in danger of becoming one of those miserable coves aren't I? Instead of the voice of reason. Here, take the remote. Turn it off. In fact, unplug the blasted thing and remove the temptation all together" "Very good Sir" "We've a new game tomorrow. A new start!. 3 points tomorrow and we'll be back on track. Looking upward once more!" "Indeed." "Queens Park Rangers eh. We can do them. Get back on an even keel. What news?" QPR - V - Wednesday EFL Championship Loftus Road Kick off: 19:45 QPR have doubts over Jake Bidwell and Jordan Cousins ahead of Tuesday's Sky Bet Championship game with Sheffield Wednesday. Defender Bidwell faces a fitness test on a shoulder problem, while midfielder Cousins, who missed the weekend win at Ipswich, has an ankle issue. Should Bidwell be available, Rangers manager Steve McClaren may keep faith with the team which won 2-0 at Portman Road. Midfielder Josh Scowen and forward Nahki Wells are among the players pushing for starting places. Wednesday have no doubts that they will be without Sam Winnall , Gary Hooper, Kieran Lee , Joost van Aken , Marco Matias, Almen Abdi and Fernando Forestieri! They also have no doubts that Boyd, Jones and Westwood won't be playing either even though they aren't injured. They have no doubts that Sam Hutchinson won't be in the squad. But they do have doubts as to whether he's fit or not fit. Or just 'Sam fit' as apposed to 'Jos fit'. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Crikey. Who wrote that, Doom?" "I don't know Sir. I did got it off the BBC" "Well, I might have known. London-centric bias and all that. Right. Lets get down to brass tacts. What are the match facts Stubbs? And do make sure you try and do it in your best Tim Gudgin voice if you don't mind. Adds a bit of gravitas to the occasion" "Must I sir?" "Stubbs I insist. And make sure you talk in a different text colour. Something bright. It keeps the attention of the short witted." Match facts "Queens Park Rangers have lost just one of their last 10 home league matches against Sheffield Wednesday" "Bloody hell are you sure?" "Quite sure , they have won 4 and drawn 5 " "That's a bit of a rum do isn't it. I didn't realise we were that bad against them. I mean, it's not really like they ever do anything. They're a club I forget about most of the time. Don't even think about them. Apart from Gerry Francis' barnet I can barely even visualise them. Right come on man. Lets have some more. What else have you got?" "QPR manager Steve McClaren has won four of his five Championship meetings with Sheffield Wednesday " "But, but , he's rubbish!? How can that be his record? I mean to say. He's one of the duffest managers going!" "Not according to the Stats Sir. Won 4 and drawn 1" "Are you sure Doom hasn't given you these stats? Look here, lets stop bigging them up. What about us? There must be something." "Sheffield Wednesday have lost their last four league matches in London since a 1-0 win at Fulham in August 2017." "Good God! It just gets from bad to worse this doesn't it. What a week. Horror goals conceded Friday. Winnall set back. Hooper golfing till further notice. Lee doomed. Abdi...well who bloody knows what's wrong with Abdi. And now to the Capital where we can't get anything. "I have one more stat Sir. " "Go on?" "Sheffield Wednesday have lost each of their last five matches on Tuesdays in all competitions." "Christ on a bike! Is it even worth going. Eh? I mean the odds aren't stacked in our favour here are they. No. That's it. I'm all for being Mr Positive every week Stubbs, adding a bit of light to proceedings. Being the Yin to whatsit, the misers yang and all that, but this one is a not starter. Absolute none starter. Don't bother filling the car. We're not going. This has been an absolute nightmare week for us Owls. A nightmare. I couldn't get any worse." "Ahem... speaking of horrifying things.... I have had a call from the Governor of Bellcrush Prison today Sir. Lady Snooty is due for release....tomorrow, Sir.... ....Sir, Sir are you ok?" "Pack a bag and fill the car Stubbs. We're going to Loftus Road." "But I thought you said everything pointed to a Wednesday defeat and horror show..." "A Wednesday horror show is better than a Tuesday night with a starved and ravenous wife horror show Stubbs. Pack those cases!" "Very good Sir" COME ON WEDNESDAY FFS! Edited March 9, 2021 by Lord Snooty 8 3 34 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FreshOwl Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 (edited) Saw QPR live away at Bolton last month. Everything they do goes through their no.10 Eze, whose a very talented young player, effortlessly glides around the pitch dropping shoulders and offering through balls. Nakhi wells upfront too, who we all know about in this league Apart from that though they’re fairly average across the park, and fall into the pool of 15-18 sides in this division who you can’t really tell apart in terms of quality Definitely winnable, but as it’s Wednesday who knows how it’ll go Edited October 22, 2018 by FreshOwl 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sagesse Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 Come on Wednesday!!! Back to winning ways, please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev Owl Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 (edited) Thanks Snoots. Enjoyable as usual. With our injuries a close game methinks Head 1-0 defeat. Heart 0-1 victory. Take that usurping head / heart guy. ( From a few OMDTs ago) Edited October 22, 2018 by Rev Owl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Costello 77 Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 Cracker. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OWL1969 Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 Excellent as always mi lord. C'mon Wednesday!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weshallovercome Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 Brilliant Snoots, your best yet. Not sure how, but we're going to win, it's the wednesday waahaay........or summat. COME ON YOU MIGHTY WINGED WONDERS!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S36 OWL Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 Fantastic work Mi`Lord Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbo48 Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 Tuesday night away in London ?? All it need’s is Brian Laws commentary. We’re doomed, Snoots. Can’t see owt else but a perplexing team selection followed by pages of FFSs and zero YYYEEESSSs 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
offalyowl Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 A classic as always snoots definitely worth staying up for, predict a 2-1 win and another 3 points after everything that gone on the last few days, might just brighten us all up again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 this game will be a classic,something you'll look back on in 10 years time and remember fondly they'll be a thread '10 years ago today' . Wednesday will demonate from start to finish,Steve McLaren will be crying into his silk handkerchief with what he's seeing. we've hit the post and crossbar 26 times ,qpr are down to 8 men and we've watched Dawson to hector,hector to thornily,thonily to Dawson for 85 minutes.then jos rolls the dice and brings Morgan fox on and puts him upfront .reach puts a lovely through ball on for fox.fox hits the cross bar and the ball flys all the way back to a unprepared Dawson ,who flaps the ball into his own net.as a qpr team celebrate ,the ref blows the fulltime whistle on the 87 th minute .the first time in history a ref blows the whistle early. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drewswfc Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 3 hours ago, WelshOwl74 said: this game will be a classic,something you'll look back on in 10 years time and remember fondly they'll be a thread '10 years ago today' . Wednesday will demonate from start to finish,Steve McLaren will be crying into his silk handkerchief with what he's seeing. we've hit the post and crossbar 26 times ,qpr are down to 8 men and we've watched Dawson to hector,hector to thornily,thonily to Dawson for 85 minutes.then jos rolls the dice and brings Morgan fox on and puts him upfront .reach puts a lovely through ball on for fox.fox hits the cross bar and the ball flys all the way back to a unprepared Dawson ,who flaps the ball into his own net.as a qpr team celebrate ,the ref blows the fulltime whistle on the 87 th minute .the first time in history a ref blows the whistle early. Ever the optimist! Be reyt 2-1the owls fizz the cockneys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Utah Owl Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 Well there's one thing that there's no doubt about Snoots, brilliant thread! Everything seems stacked against us so it's obvious 0-1 to the lads! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
33 Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 Keeps the attention of the short-witted Kept mine Errrrmmmm...? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bladeshater Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 Up the owls Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmowl Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 Bellcrush Prison! Cant imagine your teacher ever wrote “lacks imagination”. Those stats look awful, but after our Brentford and Forest defeats we have seen immediate reactions and excellent runs. Lets hope Jos can work similar magic tonight. Im sure Nuhiu will start. 2-2. Nuhiu Reach. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Ethel The Tree Posted October 23, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted October 23, 2018 Ahh. Not just me then, struggling to get past Boro's 2nd goal ... 1 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
latemodelchild Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 Great, a London game against a team we never seem to beat on a Tuesday night. If we win tonight I'll start believing we can finish in the top 6. At the moment there's more chance of snooty and his Mrs resuming conjugal relations. Though it sounds like he wouldn't have a choice if thats what she wants. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Tom Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 It’s my birthday so they’d best win or I’m quitting forever and taking up belly button lint collecting instead IDST 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
full fathom five Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 COME ON WEDNESDAY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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