Grassy knoll Posted August 21, 2018 Share Posted August 21, 2018 Top rant that man! Though would have liked you to have added the half time beer chuckers in , who film themselves singing(probably for the first and last time of the day) and uploading the bore fest onto to some awful site,where the other 91 clubs chavsters are all doing the exact same 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tarn owl Posted August 21, 2018 Share Posted August 21, 2018 Wow 33, with the style of that rant was going to go for 66. Yes people are guilty of looking at their phones too much. Me too. I'll make an effort on Wednesday for you. But when people ask me what is the score elsewhere do i punch them in the face or throw them in the Thames? If they brought a good book and just sat facing the other way perhaps taking in the view of the Thames is that ok? I wish i had a good book at Hillsborough sometimes. Like the sentiment but i feel it will go in one ear and straight out of the other. Saying all that the days that make me laugh looking back on are the games that were boring or rubbish. Grimsby at Home, Stevenage at Home, Wimbledon making Hartson look like Van Basten. It's days like that and WATCHING it that build character and make you laugh and have some perspective. I will keep telling Man United fans they have no idea when they moan constantly about a so called lesser team beginning with B that beat them on Sunday and they suddenly want a manager who did quite well last season to be sac..... wait a minute. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Costello 77 Posted August 21, 2018 Share Posted August 21, 2018 Anybody that refers to a group of virtual strangers as " little cu*ts ", is alright by me. I'm looking forward to hearing a lot more from this UDMURT character. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dorian gray Posted August 21, 2018 Share Posted August 21, 2018 17 hours ago, UDMURT said: A good effort going down on the Sunday, filling it, making a load of noise for at least 65 minutes but.... All you little twats who need therapy because you can't stay off your phone for more than 2 seconds without getting withdrawll shakes do yourself a favour and either don't come again or you'll find me next time throwing your feckin iphones into the sodidng thames. 8 people around me at one point head buried on snapchat, sky sports news, bloody tinder or just texting a second by second update of whats going on, and this is when we were actually having a go for 5 minutes before caving in complete ineptitude. You have a technology addiction issue and one day your gonna wake up in a chair with someone wiping your ass as you stair blankly at the wall wondering where your sodding life went with the vague memmory of laughing at a meme of of a dog humping a staircase, whilst in an away end somewhere. Utilise the time to have some time away from your crappy virtual social life and watch the game ...or just stay at home and jerk off to the front cover of your Tombraider Xbox game, cos your not doing anything for the club except weeing off people who do give and iota Disclaimer : I'm only 33 not some bloody grandad but something is happening to our species and it worries me deeply. Sorry rant over i figure in the next 10 or so years, they'll be an app to sort your bird out so that lot won't have to bother. they've already reached the point of going out together and not looking at each other. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UDMURT Posted August 21, 2018 Author Share Posted August 21, 2018 5 hours ago, Costello 77 said: Anybody that refers to a group of virtual strangers as " little cu*ts ", is alright by me. I'm looking forward to hearing a lot more from this UDMURT character. Unfortunatley when you are in a terrace the intimacy is more than most people would probably put up with if not at gig or football match. I know more about them than own family, including who they are chatting up on whatsapp, their favourite snapchats as well as their betting habits. Not through choice mind 5 hours ago, tarn owl said: Wow 33, with the style of that rant was going to go for 66. Yes people are guilty of looking at their phones too much. Me too. I'll make an effort on Wednesday for you. But when people ask me what is the score elsewhere do i punch them in the face or throw them in the Thames? If they brought a good book and just sat facing the other way perhaps taking in the view of the Thames is that ok? I wish i had a good book at Hillsborough sometimes. Like the sentiment but i feel it will go in one ear and straight out of the other. Saying all that the days that make me laugh looking back on are the games that were boring or rubbish. Grimsby at Home, Stevenage at Home, Wimbledon making Hartson look like Van Basten. It's days like that and WATCHING it that build character and make you laugh and have some perspective. I will keep telling Man United fans they have no idea when they moan constantly about a so called lesser team beginning with B that beat them on Sunday and they suddenly want a manager who did quite well last season to be sac..... wait a minute. Well when something wee wees you off I guess it doesnt matter how old you are. Already stated its not about people who look at their phone , its the people who only look at their phone because they are too dumb to do anything else Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Costello 77 Posted August 21, 2018 Share Posted August 21, 2018 I'm backing this UDMURT lad... he's going to be big on here. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
londonowl Posted August 21, 2018 Share Posted August 21, 2018 16 hours ago, Bulgaria said: I am still spending what those bets won me. Still have cash in the bank from when Dave Jones was in his last month's in charge. Brentford away on Sunday was another cert. Easy money. Either you don’t spend much or you put some bloody big bets on. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drewswfc Posted August 21, 2018 Share Posted August 21, 2018 Totally agree with the OP füčkinğ worst invention ever. Ruining my life .... Can never get away from it all....even when I'm fishing.... there's just no escape from the stupid bąšț@řd things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wednesday_Jack Posted August 21, 2018 Share Posted August 21, 2018 20 hours ago, UDMURT said: A good effort going down on the Sunday, filling it, making a load of noise for at least 65 minutes but.... All you little twats who need therapy because you can't stay off your phone for more than 2 seconds without getting withdrawll shakes do yourself a favour and either don't come again or you'll find me next time throwing your feckin iphones into the sodidng thames. 8 people around me at one point head buried on snapchat, sky sports news, bloody tinder or just texting a second by second update of whats going on, and this is when we were actually having a go for 5 minutes before caving in complete ineptitude. You have a technology addiction issue and one day your gonna wake up in a chair with someone wiping your ass as you stair blankly at the wall wondering where your sodding life went with the vague memmory of laughing at a meme of of a dog humping a staircase, whilst in an away end somewhere. Utilise the time to have some time away from your crappy virtual social life and watch the game ...or just stay at home and jerk off to the front cover of your Tombraider Xbox game, cos your not doing anything for the club except weeing off people who do give and iota Disclaimer : I'm only 33 not some bloody grandad but something is happening to our species and it worries me deeply. Sorry rant over I’m not going to lie mate...I can see you getting thrown in the sodding Thames!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BC1867 Posted August 21, 2018 Share Posted August 21, 2018 20 hours ago, UDMURT said: A good effort going down on the Sunday, filling it, making a load of noise for at least 65 minutes but.... All you little twats who need therapy because you can't stay off your phone for more than 2 seconds without getting withdrawll shakes do yourself a favour and either don't come again or you'll find me next time throwing your feckin iphones into the sodidng thames. 8 people around me at one point head buried on snapchat, sky sports news, bloody tinder or just texting a second by second update of whats going on, and this is when we were actually having a go for 5 minutes before caving in complete ineptitude. You have a technology addiction issue and one day your gonna wake up in a chair with someone wiping your ass as you stair blankly at the wall wondering where your sodding life went with the vague memmory of laughing at a meme of of a dog humping a staircase, whilst in an away end somewhere. Utilise the time to have some time away from your crappy virtual social life and watch the game ...or just stay at home and jerk off to the front cover of your Tombraider Xbox game, cos your not doing anything for the club except weeing off people who do give and iota Disclaimer : I'm only 33 not some bloody grandad but something is happening to our species and it worries me deeply. Sorry rant over That’s it OP; focus on the important stuff. also, how does a third party seek to wipe my arse whilst I sit in the chair? A practical joke gone too far by someone dressed as a chair? A new-fangled Japanese comfort toilet from the future perhaps? Im going to google for prototypes on my but phone to see if your vaguely menacing personal hygiene invention predictions are actually on the cards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S36 OWL Posted August 21, 2018 Share Posted August 21, 2018 21 hours ago, UDMURT said: A good effort going down on the Sunday, filling it, making a load of noise for at least 65 minutes but.... All you little twats who need therapy because you can't stay off your phone for more than 2 seconds without getting withdrawll shakes do yourself a favour and either don't come again or you'll find me next time throwing your feckin iphones into the sodidng thames. 8 people around me at one point head buried on snapchat, sky sports news, bloody tinder or just texting a second by second update of whats going on, and this is when we were actually having a go for 5 minutes before caving in complete ineptitude. You have a technology addiction issue and one day your gonna wake up in a chair with someone wiping your ass as you stair blankly at the wall wondering where your sodding life went with the vague memmory of laughing at a meme of of a dog humping a staircase, whilst in an away end somewhere. Utilise the time to have some time away from your crappy virtual social life and watch the game ...or just stay at home and jerk off to the front cover of your Tombraider Xbox game, cos your not doing anything for the club except weeing off people who do give and iota Disclaimer : I'm only 33 not some bloody grandad but something is happening to our species and it worries me deeply. Sorry rant over Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greengrass Posted August 21, 2018 Share Posted August 21, 2018 Agree with OP, good post. They also ruin pop concerts. Ruddy kids. Where's Green Un ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OWL1969 Posted August 21, 2018 Share Posted August 21, 2018 (edited) 21 hours ago, Lord Snooty said: But certainly one that warrants a place in the top 3. Terrific leftfield rant. That caught the eye. I give it 8/10. Might have been more but for 'jerk off'. Bit American for my tastes. Still. It's a good one and the irritation crackles off the page. What turn of phrase would you use Lord. Is it rub in the upper circles or something like thraping yourself stupid? Do you go solo or does the Butler lend a hand? Just interested to know how the upper classes live and what terminology they use. Edit - I didn't type rub either. Edited August 21, 2018 by OWL1969 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest REDAs_biG_piECE Posted August 21, 2018 Share Posted August 21, 2018 (edited) 22 hours ago, UDMURT said: A good effort going down on the Sunday, filling it, making a load of noise for at least 65 minutes but.... All you little twats who need therapy because you can't stay off your phone for more than 2 seconds without getting withdrawll shakes do yourself a favour and either don't come again or you'll find me next time throwing your feckin iphones into the sodidng thames. 8 people around me at one point head buried on snapchat, sky sports news, bloody tinder or just texting a second by second update of whats going on, and this is when we were actually having a go for 5 minutes before caving in complete ineptitude. You have a technology addiction issue and one day your gonna wake up in a chair with someone wiping your ass as you stair blankly at the wall wondering where your sodding life went with the vague memmory of laughing at a meme of of a dog humping a staircase, whilst in an away end somewhere. Utilise the time to have some time away from your crappy virtual social life and watch the game ...or just stay at home and jerk off to the front cover of your Tombraider Xbox game, cos your not doing anything for the club except weeing off people who do give and iota Disclaimer : I'm only 33 not some bloody grandad but something is happening to our species and it worries me deeply. Sorry rant over Well said that man take a bow my friend they're like flipping zombies these days and it's all by design Edited August 21, 2018 by REDAs_biG_piECE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJMortimer Posted August 21, 2018 Share Posted August 21, 2018 (edited) 6 minutes ago, REDAs_biG_piECE said: ...and it's all by design Don't get me started - social media, celebrity culture, 'reality' TV, fake news, the celebration of ignorance, President Trump... Edited August 21, 2018 by DJMortimer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest REDAs_biG_piECE Posted August 21, 2018 Share Posted August 21, 2018 2 minutes ago, DJMortimer said: Don't get me started - social media, celebrity culture, 'reality' TV, fake news, the celebration of ignorance... The smart phone has replaced the tv as the weapon of choice of the ruling elites for Brainwashing the entire population Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Snooty Posted August 21, 2018 Share Posted August 21, 2018 3 hours ago, OWL1969 said: What turn of phrase would you use Lord. Is it rub in the upper circles or something like thraping yourself stupid? Do you go solo or does the Butler lend a hand? Just interested to know how the upper classes live and what terminology they use. Edit - I didn't type rub either. Wrestling the one eyed trouser snake is the obvious choice of phrase. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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