OFFICIAL MATCHDAY THREAD - BURTON 1 : 1 SHEFFIELD WEDNESDAY

[Lord Snooty]

 

Morning Owls!

What a week. We get a smashing result at Fulham and then lose at Bolton in the coconut nut cup , or whatever it’s called these days.   A 3-2 defeat that could just as easily been a 3-7 victory, in a cup that no one is genuinely that bothered about till the quarter finals.

Still the meltdown on here was quite furious and today’s game has now -in some people’s eyes -taken on an importance beyond human comprehension. 

 

It is, we have been told the Armageddon fixtures of the CC/DC reign.  For defeat today and the sky will darken, cracks will form in the crust of the Earth and demons will rise from the fiery pits of hell.  The universe will shake and Hillsborough will crumble, until the manager has been sacked and replaced with someone else.  Someone who has more than likely been sacked from their own previous job for not doing a very good job. …yes that’s the answer!!

Apparently. ..

It isn’t that serious of course is it?  It’s just a league game against Burton Albion.  Just our fifth of a very long season to come…

Oh well. At you ready for ARMAGEDDON?! or as I call it...

 

Burton Albion – V – The Wednesday

 

Burton only started playing football in 1950 in the West Midlands Regional League.  By which time we had been at it for 83 years.

Some of our fans seem to think that they still play there and that we should be “beating teams like this 10-0” and anything less is a disgrace, like losing to the Dog and Duck.

But time, as some fans will eventually catch on if they ever leave the internet, does move on in the outside world.  Other clubs don’t stand still while we are buying up every forward in the land.

 Burton have moved on. They are in this division on merit.

Their climb has been nothing short of remarkable.  Clambering all the way up from the seventh tier of the English football league to the Championship in just over a decade.  The seventh tier! Much of that success has been under the stewardship of Agent Clough, once of this parish. 

 

This will not be an easy game,  as everyone knows, and is the predominant reason why Doom mongers are getting their work in early with proclamations that anything less than four goals is a disaster, for they know it will be a tough game. As it was last season.

 

 

The Sheffield Connection

 

Not only are Burton managed by Agent Clough, but they also have on their books… Three other Wednesday connections. 

Luke Varney one time quality control assessor at Quorn foods, and three times Wednesday loanee is still turning out for them. 

Also on the books Stephen Bywater.  Yes. The legend.  It doesn’t matter how much time passes. We should never miss the opportunity to remember this.

Quote

 

“Amid the manicured gardens of Sutton-on-the-Hill it attracted gasps. And they were not of admiration.  Goalkeeper Bywater, 29, claims he has recently taken up art as a hobby and described the items in his front garden as a 'masterpiece'.

 

But neighbours Mike and June Taylor accuse him of trying to make their £800,000 home unsellable in the latest act of a long-running dispute over land they own at the rear of the properties.”

 

 

The third Wednesday player connection isn’t actually that much of a real connection. It’s Jackson Irvine.  I really want us to sign him and will never miss the chance to mention his name, JACKSON IRVINE in the same Sentence as SHEFFIELD WEDNESDAY ,in the hope that it somehow subliminally weaves its way in the head of our recruitment officer.  Whoever that might be…

 Motivation

I was thinking this morning as I took the papers and enjoyed my morning tea how easy it is to motivate oneself when you have the passion of hatred in your heart.  Take Sheffield United for example. There will be no problem getting “up for it” in that game.  Against Fulham it’s easy to be motivated by the Medias love-in about them.  As it was for Newcastle last season. The favourites.  It’s a bit harder to find the passion , the motivation to help get our lads going in a game with, Burton Albion.

We need the motivation.  But what?

 

In 1948 Edward "Ted" Collins first produced Stones Bitter at the Cannon Brewery. Ted ( a true master brewer , not some boy with a top-knot, a beard , sleeve tattoos and too much citrus fruit and time on his hands like most modern brewers)   designed his ale for the steelworkers of Sheffield's Lower Don Valley. The product was formulated as the working classes began to favour bitter over the dark mild style of beer. The beer's straw colour made it reasonably unusual for the time, and its lighter density meant it could be quaffed. Its individuality helped it to become an immediate success. By the 1960s its local reputation was "colossal" and it was described in the The Star as “Not so much Beer, as religion”

 

Stones bitter was the fuel that forged the steel. It was the fuel that built the modern world! And they….they  took it from us.  They took it from us, and then…. Then! They reduced our Jungle Juice from 4.1%AVB to 3.7&AVB and thought we wouldn’t notice!  They started making it with their own filthy non-Yorkshire water. 

 

 In 1992 Stones was the United Kingdoms's highest selling bitter, a million barrel a year were sold. 

Now it’s hardly seen.  It is nothing but a nobody in an old mans  eye.  The people of our City are having to drink “handcrafted” wee wee-water made by a kids with  2:2’s in P.E , a masters in party planning who infuriatingly over use  the word “Artisan” to describe basic stuff, Like a loaf of bloody bread. 

Quote

 

 

High above Sheffield Vulcan, the god of fire ,of volcanoes, of metalworking and the forge weeps as he thinks of what has happened to his people and their ale.

 

 

These same people are responsible for the contrived re-imagining and trendification of Hendersons Relish to the  stomach churning “Hendos”. They are b’astardising our culture and claiming it for their own. 

 

It won’t be long till some estuary accented youth asks you, in all seriousness, if you have ever heard about this new thing called “Football”.   Yes you, the Sons and daughters of the birthplace of the game.  The World is changing, and they are trying to change our history too. Don’t let them! Reclaim your own history, your own heritage from these cultural marauders.  The very fabric of our existence is being torn apart and reimagined.

Now I’m not saying that any of this is the fault of Burton Albion, as such . I’m not saying we should blame them for the post- historical cleansing of our memories.  But someone has to take the blame! And why not them! It all started with us losing that cornerstone of this Cities existence to their town 

 

 If this sad sight doesn’t fire you to roar the boys to success today. Nothing will.

 

Come on Wednesday!

 

Edited August 25, 2017 by Lord Snooty

[33]

Ace that Mi Lud

[Greenhgate Owl]

ffs no one quote that

[Eastleigh Owl]

FFS, i'm all emotional now. Very sad about the Stones' Bitter, crucified on the altar of the big brewers, rumblezoids the lot of them. And don't get me started on Wards.

Anyway, looks like you got a new job m'lud. On the criteria set out in your OMDT I fear a disaster tomorrow, 1-3 to the Owls, just falling short of averting the said disaster.

[Lord Snooty]

6 minutes ago, Greenhgate Owl said:

ffs no one quote that

 

Afraid that's going to be a bit of a "Whatever you do, don't press the big red button" to some people

[33]

Had my first Pint of Stones in ages since moving back over here at Laneham Ferry

 

Was still nice

[Lord Snooty]

36 minutes ago, 33 said:

Had my first Pint of Stones in ages since moving back over here at Laneham Ferry

 

Was still nice

 

Should be available on drought in every public house in this City!

Apparently it was on as a guest at the Gardeners the other week and there was nearly a stampede.

[Neal M]

Pinned.

 

uto

 

 

[offalyowl]

Well done Lord, enjoyed that and hoping to enjoy 3 points tomorrow and get revenge for last season but think it will be a hard fought 2-1 win 

 

uto 

[Neal M]

As much as the people of Sheffield should resent the treatment of Stones, Burton on Trent can't be that bad.

 

They did give this to the world:

 

[ash60s]

Nice one M@Lord - loving the satire(reality)

I go 0-2 Owls dunno who'll score cos never know team selection

[Lord Snooty]

3 minutes ago, ash60s said:

Nice one M@Lord - loving the satire(reality)

I go 0-2 Owls dunno who'll score cos never know team selection

Fletcher Double. 

Got a feeling.

[pauli]

Burton also invented the snowboard, which helps you get to the pub that doesn't sell Stones bitter really quickly in bitter weather.

[ash60s]

sno joke he means it 

[Lord Snooty]

2 minutes ago, pauli said:

Burton also invented the snowboard, which helps you get to the pub that doesn't sell Stones bitter really quickly in bitter weather.

 

9 minutes ago, Neal M said:

 Burton on Trent can't be that bad.

 

They did give this to the world:

 

 

[Guest]

3 minutes ago, pauli said:

Burton also invented the snowboard, which helps you get to the pub that doesn't sell Stones bitter really quickly in bitter weather.

 

Burton also invented suits, biscuits, bass guitars, Jamaican football, the jazz vibraphone and Egypt.

[jamiejohn]

I have always drunk stones am now as it goes but I am very much a dying breed such a shame the young uns don't know what real ale is 

[new zealand owl]

Excellent work Lord. Good afternoon from a drizzly rotorua with the permanent smell of sulphur in the air.

 

let us not forget the real founders of the town of our opponents tomorrow: that's right....Deon Burton and Marcus Tudgay. Had it not been for Deon's superior international record and ability to avoid BBQ related Injuries the club would've been named Tudgay Albion FC

[Ronio]

Nice one Snooty.  

 

We'll smash them. 

 

COME ON WEDNESDAY!!!

[LJH1867OWLS]

Great OMDT Snoot dogg! 

 

I'm gonna go with

Wednesday to win 3-0 

Nuhiu to finally get accepted into Hogwarts

and Bannan to star in a shot to shot remake of the running man at half time! 

 

UTO!