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Imagine if you're an ultraviolent, black-clad gunslinger called El Topo who avenges the slaughter of a small town’s inhabitants but are then injured in a face-off with four grandmasters of pistol-duelling. Years later you're rescued by mutant dwarves and set off to liberate your keepers from their underground hidey-hole.

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Imagine if the crowd went as nuts as it did on Friday night for the kind of non glamorous games against the smaller sides?

We'd be undefeatable

Teams wouldn't want to play us at Hillsborough

Imagine if every time you ate a chip you screamed with joy and ran around the room with your arms in the air, kissing everyone you meet and jumping so high you smash the light fittings!

No.

Special occasions are celebrated in special style. To pretend that every commonplace event is special would be, well, tin pot!

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Imagine if you're a father who gets it on with his prostitute daughter. Then, the family’s lives are turned inside out by the arrival of a strange guest who encourages mum, dad, son and daughter to satisfy their darkest needs. Necrophilia, murder, dismemberment, heroin and an.al rape are on the menu, all washed down with a barrel-load of milk squirted from mum's wildly lactating breasts. But it's all a good laugh.

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Imagine if you're a father who gets it on with his prostitute daughter. Then, the family’s lives are turned inside out by the arrival of a strange guest who encourages mum, dad, son and daughter to satisfy their darkest needs. Necrophilia, murder, dismemberment, heroin and an.al rape are on the menu, all washed down with a barrel-load of milk squirted from mum's wildly lactating breasts. But it's all a good laugh.

Possibly the most disturbing thing I've ever read on owlstalk

lol

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Imagine if during dinner (of still-twitching man-made chicken) with your girlfriend and her family, you discover that you're about to become a father to a baby-creature. When the child is born it looks like a cross between a sperm and a calf foetus and you break up with your girlfriend. The baby wails incessantly so you dissect it, while a lady who lives behind the radiator sings about Heaven and stamps on foetuses...

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Imagine if during dinner (of still-twitching man-made chicken) with your girlfriend and her family, you discover that you're about to become a father to a baby-creature. When the child is born it looks like a cross between a sperm and a calf foetus and you break up with your girlfriend. The baby wails incessantly so you dissect it, while a lady who lives behind the radiator sings about Heaven and stamps on foetuses...

In heaven, everything is fine

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Imagine if you're a father who gets it on with his prostitute daughter. Then, the family’s lives are turned inside out by the arrival of a strange guest who encourages mum, dad, son and daughter to satisfy their darkest needs. Necrophilia, murder, dismemberment, heroin and an.al rape are on the menu, all washed down with a barrel-load of milk squirted from mum's wildly lactating breasts. But it's all a good laugh.

Chuffing ell Visitor Q!!!! Now that is one fòöked up movie

lol

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Imagine if during dinner (of still-twitching man-made chicken) with your girlfriend and her family, you discover that you're about to become a father to a baby-creature. When the child is born it looks like a cross between a sperm and a calf foetus and you break up with your girlfriend. The baby wails incessantly so you dissect it, while a lady who lives behind the radiator sings about Heaven and stamps on foetuses...

Disturbing not gonna sleep much tonight

lol

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Imagine if you're a father who gets it on with his prostitute daughter. Then, the family’s lives are turned inside out by the arrival of a strange guest who encourages mum, dad, son and daughter to satisfy their darkest needs. Necrophilia, murder, dismemberment, heroin and an.al rape are on the menu, all washed down with a barrel-load of milk squirted from mum's wildly lactating breasts. But it's all a good laugh.

 

 

 

...Hackenthorpe's not changed much then...

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Imagine if you're a father who gets it on with his prostitute daughter. Then, the family’s lives are turned inside out by the arrival of a strange guest who encourages mum, dad, son and daughter to satisfy their darkest needs. Necrophilia, murder, dismemberment, heroin and an.al rape are on the menu, all washed down with a barrel-load of milk squirted from mum's wildly lactating breasts. But it's all a good laugh.

We're on our way back....

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Imagine if you're an ultraviolent, black-clad gunslinger called El Topo who avenges the slaughter of a small town’s inhabitants but are then injured in a face-off with four grandmasters of pistol-duelling. Years later you're rescued by mutant dwarves and set off to liberate your keepers from their underground hidey-hole.

You stole my script idea!

 

Never again will the stars shine as bright for me.

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