Brighton vs The Owls. Official Matchday Thread.

[pauli]

              

 

TODAY’S OPPOSITES

 

Originally built shortly after the Big Bang, Brighton Pier sits on the south eastern coast of England. Until about 1600 the pier was used to dump toxic waste into the fresh waters of the English Channel, and contained a small shack which sold sea water for £20 a bottle. In 1650 the pier was bought by a man who, after a bet in a pub was asked to spend a fortune on making a Fun Fair 800 yards out in the ocean. The first rides installed in 1674 were the worlds first rollercoaster to feature 3 ASDA shopping trolleys hurtling around some old scaffolding and Wild Mouse which was installed after scientists found giant mutated mice under the pier due to the waste disposal.

 

 

Over time the owner got into another bet seeing just how much weight he could put on the pier without it collapsing, and so the other 4705 attractions where installed. Between the years of 1850 and 1899 the pier put in a few restaurants and a arcade containing 250 identical machines of 'are you smarter than a 10 year old?’ In a vain attempt to stop him winning the bet, a rival of the owner attempted to burn down the pier in 1945 but accidentally set fire to the West Pier after getting wrong directions.

 

The Pier was built with the local wildlife in mind, the Great British Seagull was the first and only species - due to their aggressive nature -  of local birds to use it as their international target practice and thievery HQ. These birds were employed by the piers owner in 1701 for the sole purpose of stealing food and merchandise - meaning that people would have to buy everything again.

 

 

Moving up the pier on foot with a sausage sandwich or icecream is basically impossible as these buggers are not shy and will go for you with their extremely sharp beaks. As a result, 260 people have died from seagull attacks of which the most recent was drowned after 2 seagulls lifted him up and dropped him in the sea following an argument over which toy he had won in the coconut shy. The pier’s owners have secured a way to get from the start of the pier without being mugged of your food, by paying £200 for a caddy ride to the end of the pier (which the seagulls cannot pass due to a electric shield).

 

The fun fair is the main reason people come to the pier. After navigating your way past the bombardment of seagulls and sideshows where you are dragged into throwing a ball at a stuffed clowns face to try and win a 2nd hand cuddly toy which smells of cat pee. The only catch being that you must hit all the targets which are separated by 3 metres, with one ball. Then being egged on by the operator who keeps telling you how easy it is, and demonstrates by throwing the ball from 4cm into the targets whereas you stand 3 metres from them.

 

 

The ghost train was made by building a ghost and ghoul resistant building then collecting and trapping poor innocent demons and ghouls for the public to laugh at. The owner said on the opening day ceremony “The Scariest ride ever, I had nightmares when I rode it”... After paying your thousand tokens to get on the ride you will be sat in old converted barrel and sent off into darkness up a spiraling hill in the dark with nothing more than a spider sound effect and someone screaming. Then, the most thrilling part of going down a 2 foot drop into the main part of the ride, where you are welcomed by a worker with swine flu who pleasantly sneezes over you giving anyone sitting on the right hand side of the barrel the disease. You then go into a series of rooms where lightning and rubbish sound effects attempt to scare you. When going through doors which separate the themed rooms in this ride, airbags are required.

 

Brighton also have a football team so go and watch them instead. It will certainly work out cheaper than visiting the pier, plus there’s the added bonus of them playing against The Owls tonight.

 

THE SERIOUS BIT

 

Venue: Amex Stadium, Brighton
Kick Off: Tuesday the 8th of March at 19:45

 

Matchday Apparel: Yellow away shirt. Disco moustache.

 

Matchday Pub: The Squire of Preston recommends that the regulation 16 pints are drunk at the Swan Inn, which is on Middle St, Brighton BN1 9PD. They also do a nice sausage sandwich. Probobobobobobobobobarbly.

 

Matchday Pie: You just had a great big sausage sandwich in the pub!

 

Matchday Song: From Here To Eternity by Giorgio Moroder…

 

 

MATCHDAY FACTS

 

Brighton manager Chris Hughton has no new selection problems for the visit of Sheffield Wednesday. Full-back Gaeten Bong (bong water on the knee) is back in training and captain Gordon Greer is available after recovering from Giorgio Moroder’s sausage sandwich at the Swan Inn.

 

Sheffield Wednesday will once again be without striker Fernando Forestieri, who completes a two-game ban. Defenders Liam Palmer and Joe Bennett are both pushing for recalls, as is midfielder Sam Hutchinson.

 

Head to Head

 

â–ª Brighton have failed to score in each of their last four matches against Sheffield Wednesday.

 

â–ª The Owls have won three and lost none of their previous six contests with the Seagulls.

 

â–ª The Seagulls have won their last four home league games, netting 12 goals in the process.

 

â–ª Sheffield Wednesday have scored just one goal in their last four Championship games.

 

 

 

My prediction: Needs to be a top performance after not pulling our finger out the last few games. A cheeky 1 - 0 for the Owls. Mc Gugan screamer from the site of the Battle of Hastings. Oooooooooh!

 

KING CARLOS’ WORDS OF WISDOM

 

“It will be an interesting game, the potential of both teams is very similar in my opinion. They have a similar process, they are better than us on points in this moment but I think the teams are similar. It’s a game where anything can happen so if they win, we draw or we win, it will be completely normal because the value of the teams is similar.

 

They are at home so they have the advantage of that, in their environment. But we are focused on the game and trying to do our best to keep doing what we are doing in this competition. What we can control is that we all do our jobs and fight from the first second until the last. We will do that absolutely sure and after, we will see. We believe it will be a tough game for both teams.

 

 

Just Fernando is out, Sam is OK. At this moment we don’t have any new problems. We trust in all the players in the squad and all the time I say the same. Sometimes we understand that one player is better than another to a specific game. For example, Jack Hunt has played more games but Liam Palmer has played in some hard games and done very well. Jack has played in some very hard games and done well also, so this means we have good options.

 

But even though we don’t have any big problems, sometimes a player is more tired, or has had a little kick and is not 100%. We will make decisions player by player or position by position to choose the best players to fight for the three points with Brighton. I don’t have any problems whether the players will be ready or not ready, nervous or not nervous. They will not be nervous about the situation, they will be focused and ready for the next game.”

 

MINTYNESS

 

Giant Shadow Llama and Tay Tay in charge!

 

 

Protected.

 

 

 

 

 

Ads by Google

 

Edited March 8, 2016 by pauli

[Guest minsk owl]

Brilliant as usual !!, and on a par with the Toytown one !!

 

 

Tough one this , ...... but i also think we'll sneak it late on   0 -1

 

Gugs with a deft bottom corner chip , whilst riding on the dodgems

 

 

 

 

 

[gazzatheowl]

brilliant as per usual.

 

Fecking hate seagulls. once while walking through Scarborough town center, one particularly arrogant poopydoo seagull tried to nick the pasty out of my hand but missed and bit ma finger instead, bloody hurt as well

 

Wednesday win 1-0 Bannan long range tap-in

[edmontonowl]

Hope we can nick it

 

1-0 will done

 

BHA on a decent run but it's got to stop sometime

 

Plus.....................

 

 

Llamas are bigger than seagulls

 

it's all good

[TANGLED UP IN BLUE]

Come on Wednesday. Be bob on if we sneak a win.

[Ronio]

Evening all.

 

Brilliant, Pauli. . 

 

Big game this one for sure.  Think Carlos has a game plan in mind.  So could see Loovens and Hutchinson back in, 2 leaders right there.  . Up top, Hooper and Joao could be the way to go, Joao's pace on the counter could work a treat.  

 

On our day, we can beat anyone .  

 

I reckon the players will step it up a gear or two tomorrow and grind out a hard fought 2-1 Wednesday win.  Joao and Hooper the scorers.  

 

COME ON WEDNESDAY!!!

[S36 OWL]

Fantastic OMDT as usual Pauli. Top marks Sir

 

Just having a feeling we will edge this one 2-1 

[Morepork]

Another very tough game, they are on a great run, we're on a slight wobble, all set up for us to spoil things for them.

 

Win, loose or draw we need to see 90 minutes of endeavour and passion, a touch of good fortune would not go a miss either!!!!

[JackSWFC]

Would imagine both teams will score in this one. heres hoping we score more than them.

By the way, the description of the haunted house is spot on!

Edited March 8, 2016 by JackSWFC

[marcx666]

Awesome as always, 3-1 to us, LM to score first while eating a sausage on the ghost train

[themaskedowl]

Giorgio freakin' Moroder!! So awesome. That's does for Brighton I fear.

 

 

 

 

 

Actually I don't fear at all. Feck 'em and the horse they rode in on.

Morning all, hope you're keeping well. Looking forward to this test. Need a win to steady the ship and it will be a proper challenge.

[nevthelodgemoorowl]

Should have gone home, for much needed rest but for the sake of a couple of days I decided to stay over at a lovely little guest house in the village of Albert, Northern France. My Brighton VIP pass is sorted but no one knew me which is refreshing, they had to look me up on the internet. Anyway seats sorted and Sarah is coming along.

I could have wept Saturday. People around me said we were poor but I felt so sorry for them as they battled so hard and once again the Donald Trump impersonator stole the show. We had more of the ball, we had the ball in the goal more than they did So WTF didn't we win ? Royally screwed once more.

So come on my Wednesday Boys Do It for Taylor I have every faith in you !

WAWAW Love you all Loads Love Taylor....................Great stuff Pauli big X for you X

[DeeeeeJ]

Win please thanks

[owls-swfc]

PLAY UP WEDNESDAY!

[Simaniac Owl]

Great OMDT.

1-1 is my prediction. However, Owls are far superior to seagulls.

Brighton though

[cockneyvillageowl]

Tough game tonight but our better performances have happened against stronger teams. Hope we can get a draw and build on that in the coming games.

There's probably another thread but which pub are people going to down there?

[Bahrain Owl]

I have noticed that whenever Pauli does the history bit we win......so there it is.....

[FAT OWL]

Wonderful and I can indeed testify to the Seagull menace. They'll eat off your hands, quite literally

A win today, just to buck the trend of not winning. 1-0 to the mighty Owls, own goal mind...

[bladeshater]

Come on the Wednesday

[cockneyvillageowl]

Forget the pub question, Sam has nailed it in the away travel section. Evening Star pub on Surrey Street it is. Hope to see you there - not buying 1500 pints mind, only the realist can do that.