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The true Yorkshire Minion Leeds United AFC


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They would be insignificant if I didn't live amongst a bunch of them. Who, of course, criticise their big rival Man United fans for not being from Manchester. Whilst supporting Leeds in York despite being from York. What a set of absolute idiots.

 

Of course, loads of them aren't so bothered about the football any more.

 

People from Leeds should all be forced into the fiery pit and have boiling hot casserole poured onto their big gimmer gimp faces which all look like malformed pasties. Awful people. Seriously, I'd like you all to be drowned. Horrible twunts.

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I've done a quick timeline of Leeds United for you all:

Book of Genesis: God created Leeds, saw that it was sh*t, and had a few more goes. Sadly he couldn't get rid of Leeds so stuck it in West Yorkshire.
3.6 billion years ago: Single-celled organisms appear. They write 'Marching on Together'.

1 billion years ago: Multicellular life appears, which attend away games in great number.
150 years ago: The first birds appear. Leeds sh*g them all.

65 million years ago: Dinosaurs roam the earth, looking for bother with Leeds fans. Leeds fans chase off the dinosaurs after buying tickets in their end.
2,5 million years ago: Evolution of the first 'homo' species. Leeds fans beat them up for sounding gay.
250,000 years ago; Anatomically Modern Humans. Leeds fans stay as they were.
3500 BC: The wheel is invented, by Gordon Strachan. Leeds fans order them in batches of four to boost travel to away games
753 BC: Foundation of the Roman empire, by Marius Cellinus Conartistus.
0BC: Jesus is born. Leeds fans boo him.
33 AD: Jesus is crucified by Gary McAllister.
5th Century AD: Collapse of the Roman empire after invasion by Goths, left over from the Leeds Festival
600-1200 AD: The Dark Ages. A time of economic collapse and intellectual famine. Leeds fans more than comfortable.
1215 AD: The Magna Carta. Leeds fans refuse to acknowledge it as they don;t like Japanese animation.
15th Century AD: The Wars of the Roses. Leeds claim victory despite defeat and are officially Champions of England.
1642: The English Civil War. Leeds not invited due to inability to be civil.
1649: The Commonwealth. Leeds fans lose interest halfway through the word.
1837: Queen Victoria assumes the throne. Sir Arron of Cawley punches her in the face.
1872: First FA Cup Held. Won by Leeds United, as it has been every year since.

1888: First Football League Season. Won by Leeds United, as it has been every year since.

1889: Birth of Ken Bates, in a barn.
1890: Ken Bates appointed chairman of barn. Barn goes bust.
1919: Leeds City thrown out of football league for financial misdemeanour. Leeds United formed to continue their good work.

1920: Birth of Dave Hockaday, football genius.
1921: Birth of Colin Suggett

1922: Birth of Jimmy Savile. Civic parade is held. Under 16s free.

1923: Birth of Massimo Cellino, in a fraudulently obtained manger.

1924: Birth of Steve Evans.

1925: Birth of rest of Steve Evans.

£1926: Cost of first feed.of Steve Evans.
1969: Leeds actually win a thing.

1972: Leeds actually win a thing again.
1974: Leeds actually win a thing again.

1975: Leeds do not win anything. Except somehow they do. Unclear
1992: Leeds win a thing again. This is it for the winning. Seriously. Just four things ever.

1999; Leeds spend money they don't have and do quite well for a bit.
2001-Present Day: Leeds trolls itself.

2007: Leeds United are formed.

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Now that you're pushing hard for promotion I'm expecting a crowd near to 30,000. Think last season you managed about 18,000 home supporters. Leeds won't sell out but we'll still treble what you brought to our place with similar prices. We were only given the top tier until a few days ago. With no general sale, a luxury you always have, our numbers will be less than normal. Enjoy the vids and think does anyone care about you ?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OJCCrU-3DAc

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tJYnpFvjoJM

I really couldn't think of a more suited manager for Leeds. Steve Evans is a match made in heaven. Odious, spiteful and bitter. Just perfect for you

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Now that you're pushing hard for promotion I'm expecting a crowd near to 30,000. Think last season you managed about 18,000 home supporters. Leeds won't sell out but we'll still treble what you brought to our place with similar prices. We were only given the top tier until a few days ago. With no general sale, a luxury you always have, our numbers will be less than normal. Enjoy the vids and think does anyone care about you ?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OJCCrU-3DAc

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tJYnpFvjoJM

Ahh bless...somebody feeling insecure?

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