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Poncey Poems


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I'm bored so I've done some limericks, cos I'm just that sad. The last one is for my good friend Fedor x

 

a fantabulous forum online

has become an obsession of mine

you can argue at pace

til you're blue* in the face

cos the others are obviously blind

(* and white!)

 

a curly-haired talent from Chelski

plays like a bat out of hellski

he can tackle and pass

but the lad's made of glass

so he's injured more often than wellski

 

when Superman dives it's a treat

but the oppo fans usually bleat

that they tied us in knots

and had all the shots

who cares, it's another clean sheet

 

our promble is we cannot score

at home games it's easy to snore

but it always seems batty

to blame my mate Attey

when Stevie is so f**kin poor

 

Eh?  :picnic:

 

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I love girls

I love women

I love Sky

I love Man

I love Dogs

I love Wight 

Canvey Island which is an estuary 

Portsmouth, technically

Ireland

And generally any other water surrounded land mass

 

 

 

 

 

Courtesy of Pat Cahill

 

:stuwinky:  

Edited by TheEnchanter
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According to some Owlstalk tossars

Nuhiu is some kind of colossus

When really they're dense

When they say he's immense

he's to blame for most of our losses

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There was a young lad called Whitebread

Who was gayer than Fred from Right said

He often got a fatty

For that useless big Atty

He's also a bit of a sh1tehead

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Here's one just for George's lovely thread.

There was a young thread on OT.

So confused that one just had to see.

Both feminine and male,

At one choice did it fail

Should it stand up or sit down to pee?

It doesn't have to rhyme to be poetry.

The pure existence of lexicon on the page ,

the elegance of flowing and pouring eloquence

floating

sinking

on each ivory page

as natural as the coarse waves that stroke the beach

I'm aroused now. Edited by themaskedowl
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There was an old man of St. Bees,
Who was stung in the arm by a wasp,
When asked, "Does it hurt?"
He replied, "No, it doesn't,
I'm so glad that it wasn't a hornet

 

 

 

There was a young man of Japan
Whose limericks never would scan.
When asked why this was,
He replied "It's because
I always try to fit as many syllables into the last line as ever I possibly can.

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I think we can all agree that limericks which start with something like 'There once was a man from Dumfries' and end with 'That silly old man from Dumfries!' are the single worst form of anything known to mankind.

 

There was an old man with a beard,

A funny old man with a beard

He had a big beard

A great big old beard

That amusing old man with a beard

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