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My Day Behind the Scenes at Hillsborough


Guest ryan147

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Well done Ryan. A very well written piece. The pictures were fascinating too. I spotted a couple of typos - it's a dance troupe - not troop. A good editor should spot any of those anyhow. You're writing style in clear and incisive so I hope you are able to take it further. Get a collection of your best pieces together - a top 20 should be enough. Also get as many qualifications as you can. That's enough with my teacher's head on - back to marking exercise books...

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Well done Ryan. A very well written piece. The pictures were fascinating too. I spotted a couple of typos - it's a dance troupe - not troop. A good editor should spot any of those anyhow. You're(Your) writing style in(is) clear and incisive so I hope you are able to take it further. Get a collection of your best pieces together - a top 20 should be enough. Also get as many qualifications as you can. That's enough with my teacher's head on - back to marking exercise books...

'Your' not 'You're'

'is' not 'in'

B+

lol

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I don't think I deserve even the B+ for that so thanks!

In my defence I've been marking books for ages and my eyes are swimming. I wish a few of the kids I teach could write like young Ryan here - he has a fair talent for it.

Defence accepted lol

Yes he has.Hopefully he'll go from strength to strength,improve with age and make a living out of something he's very passionate about.He has undoubted ability on such young shoulders.

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