Guest 03 owl Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 Doe's anyone feel proud when it's cold outside and you drop 1...then the warmth/smell happen's like a Turkish sulphur bath... quite a satisfaction, and no mean feat TBH?. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@owlstalk Posted March 11, 2012 Author Share Posted March 11, 2012 I think there should be a 'safe trumping area' introduced into grounds Starting next season Owlstalk Shop Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Auckland Owl Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 I once got trumped on by this orange skinned entity. It smelled of blackberries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@owlstalk Posted March 11, 2012 Author Share Posted March 11, 2012 I once got trumped on by this orange skinned entity. It smelled of blackberries. That'll be Grandad He's a nightmare Owlstalk Shop Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@owlstalk Posted March 11, 2012 Author Share Posted March 11, 2012 Thing is with this trumping at matches thing - it's not hard to tell who's done it Usually they'll be the ones sat back with a broad grin of self congratulation as the poor buggers in front have to deal with it Here's a prime example Owlstalk Shop Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camffiti Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 On closer inspection of that pic ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@owlstalk Posted March 11, 2012 Author Share Posted March 11, 2012 Owlstalk Shop Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mickjj Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 I remember the days standing on the Kop a good fart would often have this effect Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cretin Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 There's an incredible sense of anticipation when sneaking one out then waiting to see which one of your mates chokes first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Big Guns Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 I can cope with the ordinary smelling trumps but what really gets my goat is the trumps that tell the story from Friday night - the ones that smell like a gallon of flaccid beer and a rancid donner kebab. Those type of trumps make my eyes water. I don't think that its a coincidence that 76% of Wednesdayite members like to spend Friday night drinking at least 8 pints of bitter prior to consuming a Merdocks' special with extra chilli sauce. Wednesdayite offends my nostrils!!!! Wots a merdocks special? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ever the pessimist Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 On average I let about 4 go per match. On an unrelated issue, the guy behind me has never compmained that his feet are cold during a match. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Farrell Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 (edited) Another good way to identify the crowd farter is when he panics and starts a fit of coughing, before reverting to the staring at the stand roof again. We really need to root them out, so I need everyone to watch out for them at the next came. If you see anyone staring at the stand roof as if something fascinates them, you need to shout ' oi you !! stop farting !!! ' I think we also need to watch out for the snarters. These are the farts that the fan succeeds in suppressing so as not to offend, but then a sneeze jars it loose and it becomes a snart. I would just add though, that there is one type of fart that is acceptable at football matches, and one you should actually be proud of. It's the one that smells like some really nice food that you recently ate. For example, one game last season I had some really nice steak and guinness pie pre match, and when it came on, I eased it out, covered by a bit of clapping and a quick gaze at the North stand roof. It smelled exactly like steak and guinness pie . A few feet away some woman sniffed it up big style and said; "Is somebody cooking? Something smells nice " I had to put my scarf over my mouth to hide my laughter. Edited March 11, 2012 by Mr Farrell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shandypants Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 Another good way to identify the crowd farter is when he panics and starts a fit of coughing, before reverting to the staring at the stand roof again. We really need to root them out, so I need everyone to watch out for them at the next came. If you see anyone staring at the stand roof as if something fascinates them, you need to shout ' oi you !! stop farting !!! ' I think we also need to watch out for the snarters. These are the farts that the fan succeeds in suppressing so as not to offend, but then a sneeze jars it loose and it becomes a snart. I would just add though, that there is one type of fart that is acceptable at football matches, and one you should actually be proud of. It's the one that smells like some really nice food that you recently ate. For example, one game last season I had some really nice steak and guinness pie pre match, and when it came on, I eased it out, covered by a bit of clapping and a quick gaze at the North stand roof. It smelled exactly like steak and guinness pie . A few feet away some woman sniffed it up big style and said; "Is somebody cooking? Something smells nice " I had to put my scarf over my mouth to hide my laughter. I know exactly the type of trump your talking about. I refer to those as 'big dinner' trumps due to the fact that when I smell one I say 'Wow! Someone's has a big dinner'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shandypants Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 (edited) Wots a merdocks special? Chicken, lamb and dinner kebab Merdock's kebab shop. Edited March 11, 2012 by shandypants Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
owls-swfc Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 He once made a woman vomit with the smell of his guff - at the following game Sounds like a right effort does that ........would have liked to have witnessed it (trouble is ..you can't have it both way's, - in order to see it, you would probably also have to smell it ) ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thedazzleruk Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 In the mid 90's I used to travel away with the Hoyland Owls, from the Queens. I managed to get myself fondly known as RAT ARSE!!! Those were the days! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happy bunny Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 when it's really cold and keeping warm means lots of layers, a fart can take a good half hour to surface then it just rises so slowly out of the neck area it's hard not to laugh just look for the laughing people the neck farters Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CHRISTIANxOWLx44 Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 In the mid 90's I used to travel away with the Hoyland Owls, from the Queens. I managed to get myself fondly known as RAT ARSE!!! Those were the days! Must have been reet humdinggers to get a nick name like that mate! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
horny owl Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 In the days of the kop before it was all seater somebody would fart and a MASSIVE gap would appear in the crowd which would last about 20 seconds before everybody flooded back together. The kop used to be awsome.......its sterile and sh!te now compared to the good old days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest snoop Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 i once went to the game on my mates season ticket because he couldn't make it and the 2 woman behind us spent the entire match talking about shopping and eastenders ffs,luckily id had a curry the night before and their conversation quickly turned to " OMG thats disgusting,who did that" !! it cheered me up no end and i didn't have to listen to their constant droaning on about meadowhall. :reda: #ninjafartsarethebest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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