therac

I reckon anyone who has managed to smuggle in a jar of chutney should wave it above their head in the 42nd minute and shout "I am vulva"... That will confuse the Swans just in time for our opening goal.

Easy answer, just rely on owlstalk. Everyone nip down to Aldi, buy up 3 jars of chutney and declare it on the way in. By the time they have confiscated a few thousand jars they will be waving everyone through. Just turn up a bit late...

Tbf we have a lot of so-so fans...

I do sympathise. A nice Primitivo, or perhaps a heavy Douro would have complemented it better. Still at least it was Argentinian. A French one would have been beyond the pale. I would hope a box at today's match would improve on the cuisine... Perhaps a nice Pukka pie with a few pints of Old Peculiar?

Easy one. Decoded to take my 10 yr old for his first wednesday match at Hillsborough (about 93/94 I suppose). Living south of London, got started at 7:30 for 4-5 hour drive. Flat tyre.. Waited till 8:00 for garage to open. Got started at 8:30. Before we joined M25, road works, stuck for an hour. M25 blocked and diverted off by heathrow, Back on, got to M1. Accident at Luton. Motorway closed. Got to Hillsborough at 4:30 to find ticket office closed and told to feck off. Pleaded with gate man who let us in for last 5 mins to watch us lose 1-0. Cant even remember who we were playing......

Well said Snoots. I really feel for them. Years ago my mate derek and I used to go to every match at Scarborough, and stand behind the goal. Poor old Derek ended up as the secretary who had to put them into administration, despite a long history and no support from the FA who decided to make an example of them. Beat Wigan to win the FA trophy in 1973...Then got into the league and had to pay more out to upgrade players and stands and so on. Careful what you wish for in this game these days.

Supper.sushi.crowned for the centre circle. Maybe. Any good ones round the ground? Reckon they could make a fortune introducing some of Neil's banned words to the app and selling locations. Top.dogs.rounduns etc... You heard it here first

He's got our only one cakeball...

I always felt he had a cheenk in his armour though... Ffs censor....

If you dont f'g squeak then your a blade. OINK

Ah. Winaway... Its a sign, i tell 'ee..

Same here. With sound but on both ifollow5 and ifollow8. Someones dropped one...

If only for the first line, and the lack of Taylor Swift of late

I see Kastrati is on the bench. Maybe Atdhe had an accident?

Borukov's goal, fwiw https://www.calciozz.it/video.php?id=931410