I went to watch Scarborough get thrashed by Chelsea in 2004 expecting cricket figures. We lost 1-0 to a team containing Terry, lampard, hasselbank and others, and were denied a penalty for the clearest handball I have ever seen in the last ten minutes.
You know the secret - a sheet pitch. All we need are a few of Snoot's peasants (cough, 'artisans') and some gardening kit, and we could blame it on an infestation of moles.
Who says hoofball never pays?
And look at what an effect that had on the rest of Scarborough's future path to glory.