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"And you've no idea at all what this is about ,Sir?" "None at all Stubbs. None at all. Just the telegram you brought to the Study." "An odd time of evening to receive a summons ,Sir" "Too right it is. It's a bloody liberty is what it is, and I'll tell him so. Can't believe the cheek of the man. What's wrong with a phone call? eh? Dragging folks out in at this time of night. In this weather." "Indeed,Sir" "God, I hate lifts, make me claustrophobic. And what the hell is this music?" "It's the greatest hits of The Arctic Monkeys on pan-pipes ,Sir" "I'm not happy about this." "Neither would they be I suspect." "I'll bet this is about the Sid James Gif episode. I knew he'd taken it personally" "To be fair Sir, you'd did blow up his secret lair" "For the greater good Stubbs, for the greater Good." 28TH FLOOR - HUMAN RESOURCES - FINANCE- DIRECTORS OFFICES! "Good afternoon gentlemen can I help you? "Never mind, 'good afternoon' sweetheart, it's nearly bloody midnight, where's bloody Hargreaves?!" "If you'd like to take a seat Mr Hargreaves is-" "Don't tell me he's busy, he's just sent me a bloody telegram. I'm not hanging about out here while he finishes his nachos, trying to making me sweat. Oldest bloody trick in the book that. Come on Stubbs" "Sir, please come back, both of you...come back!" "Now then Hargreaves, what's the bloody game,eh?! Beckoning me at this time of night like some..some serf! It's not on." "Please, take a seat Snooty, take a seat. Tea? Coffee?" "Never mind take a seat, what's the bloody meaning of this!" "Ahh, Snooty, always on the front foot." "Look we haven't got time for this Hargreaves. We've got a bloody match day thread to do. In case you haven't noticed we've been keeping this show on the road while you've been gallivanting around the globe. Match day threads for which , by the way, the cheques haven't yet come!" "Ahh yeah. About that. The money will be made in a one off payment for the 9 months" "9 months! I want paying for the full bloody year. That's what we agreed." "I can't pay you through the summer. I'd be paying you for doing nothing. The match threads aren't needed until pre-season." "But we had a bloody agreement! I'd get a summer retainer. A rolling yearly contract" "It weren't a contract really though was it mate, It was just a verbal-" "Agreement. Yes, verbal agreement. A gentlemen's agreement." "Hahah. And yer take that as my bond? Me, a gentleman? Haha. Did I ever tell you about the time I invited a tramp to the Christmas party?" "Look, I know there's no need for match treads in the summer, but you said I could have a summer retainer. I've got the West wing to rebuild!" "There'll not be a summer retainer, Snoots. I don't need matchthreads in the summer. It really is that simple." "But I can do other threads.." "But I don't need you for the summer threads. I've got someone else for that." "What?! Who?" "Come in Agent B....." "Good God! You can't be serious!" "I'm totally serious Snooty" "But...but...you need quality content!" "We don't actually, our latest analysis shows exactly the opposite. Readers want gossip, not facts!" "Gossip!" "Yes, unsubstantiated gossip" "But why?!" "Because it's more fun! We're about to enter into a summer with the club stuck in the grips of FFP, do you realise what serious news and no gossip does to a membership? Well I'll tell yer, it could destroy it!" "But-" "There's no 'buts', I'm afraid Snoots, no buts, it's decided. You're on gardening leave until August. Penguin's running the show until then" "But-" "You can go now. Oh, and don't nick anything on your way out" "Home,Sir" "Home Stubbs. Home. We'll do the match thread and then...then we're done." "Don't be too down,Sir. See it as a holiday" "We can't afford a holiday Stubbs! You heard the man. The allowance has been stopped" "I took the liberty of taking the keys to his beach villa in St-Tropez off the hook on my way out" "Stubbs, you really are a marvel. Drive on,Stubbs. Drive on!" ------------------------------------- Sheffield Wednesday vs Queens Park Rangers 12:30pm Sunday 5th May Hillsborough -------------------------------------------------- TEAM NEWS Sheffield Wednesday will be without suspended defender Dominic Iorfa for their home game against QPR. Iorfa starts a three-game ban following his straight red card in last week's draw at Preston, but fellow defender Achraf Lazaar could return after illness. Boss Steve Bruce must decide whether to recall goalkeeper Keiren Westwood, fit again after a knee injury, or retain Cameron Dawson, while third-choice Joe Wildsmith is also in contention for the final game of the season. Midfielder Sam Hutchinson (hamstring) and Rolando Aarons (ankle) will be assessed. -------------------------------- QPR caretaker-boss John Eustace must decide whether to recall player of the year Luke Freeman and several other senior players. Freeman was an unused substitute in last week's home defeat to Nottingham Forest as Eustace uses the run-in to take a good look at his squad. Strikers Matt Smith and Nahki Wells are also pushing for recalls. Central defender Joel Lynch remains doubtful due to a hamstring injury which has has kept him out of the last two matches. Midfielder Jordan Cousins (ankle) is out, while defenders Jake Bidwell (thigh), Grant Hall (groin) and Angel Rangel (calf) will be assessed. ------------------------------------- Match facts * Sheffield Wednesday have lost their past two league matches against QPR, conceding seven goals across those defeats. QPR are looking to complete a league double over Sheffield Wednesday for the first time since the 2003-04 season. Sheffield Wednesday have faced QPR in their final league match of two previous campaigns, losing both 3-1, in 1993 and 2004. QPR have lost their final league match of the season in 11 of their past 14 campaigns (W2 D1 L11), including both of their past two. Sheffield Wednesday have not won three consecutive home league games since April 2017. Defeat for QPR in this match will see the Hoops lose 24 league matches in a season for only the second time in the past 50 campaigns, also losing 24 in 2014-15 in the Premier League.

The only one I’m gutted about. Thank you Super Hooper.

Made my mind up on him today. If any bids come in, we should consider them. All the talent but seriously lacks application. We can’t have passengers next season and we can’t have players just turning it on when they feel like it.

Didn’t hurt us at all It’s a huge thing for the people of Thailand and must mean a lot to our owner. I think our fans showed a touch of class during and for applauding afterwards. It didn’t cost the fans anything and if it helps us to build our brand and gets the club noticed in Thailand then it can only be a good thing.

Thank you Gary Hooper and Daniel Pudil for some good memories and top performances. The rest have been a waste of time.

Remember, Hooper didn't even play in 2018. He's scored once since 2017. We can't afford to carry a 31 year old striker (albeit a class player on his day) who has only scored once in a year and a half.

About right hooper .. past it . Offers nowt abdi .. biggest waste of space ever to play sorry take money from us Jones .. stupid signing . Pudil .. great servant . Past it Matias.. not bad , but not consistent enough Boyd.. past it

£000010

An unforgettable day !

Glad to be saying bye to a few of them today. Roll on August

How about the owner, who for all his faults, wanted to pay respects to his newly crowned King. He asked us to join him. Took about 7 or 8 minutes and we had to listen to some stuff that we aren't used to. Is it really that hard to show a bit of respect?

I’m convinced there is something we don’t know re: Abdi. Such a disappointing signing.

Tough love. We didn’t pay Hooper and many more in excess if £1m per year to finish 12th. The vast majority of this squad are failures, and we should clear the vast majority out. We have a very soft fan underbelly, obsessed with nostalgia and away followings. It’s left us in this league for a generation and the pub team across the road £130m richer.

SB: We want to keep Kieran Lee here, I can confirm that. With a good pre-season under the belt, let’s see if we can get him back to the player we know he is #swfcLIVE

It's the kind of thing that starts in the pub after a few drinks but ninety-nine times out a hundred someone comes to their senses and says this money would be better spent donated to a charity. Alas, they are thoroughbred W**kers.

No surprises Hooper Boyd Abdi Jones Pudil Matias

Would that be “Ironic”?

And Palmer I thought.

This only cost fiver in 2012, and people actually saw it.

So. We're under FFP and need to trim the wage bill.... The manager has said he wants "younger, fresher legs"... ....and the first player we're linked with is a 33 year old on the best part of £90k a week...

No reason for this post, I just didn't want to be left out seeing as everyone is starting random topics about our players

For one last time.....

Actually found it amusing. lets fly it over Hillsborough on the 43 min when a lot of people are going down stairs to get a pint! At least do it on the 60th min or something! Idiots

Still think he could be the player he was a few seasons ago once Bruce gets his hands on him.

Sorry but yet another underwhelming performance, underlines the fact for me we need better for next season.

Sell. Only on the pitch for himself not the team.

Probably because he’s got a year left

Suck it up lads, revenge will come...For the Prem is dark and full of terrors.....................

So if The Queen had died yesterday and the club decided to have a minute or two minute silence would you be passionately against that too. If Prince Charles were being crowned this weekend and they decided to play out National Anthem would you be passionately against that as well. The bloke's new King was crowned this weekend and he asked us to join in. He feels passionately about his King. Is he wrong to feel like that? Foookin grow up lad

He’ll go abroad I think. Good riddance. Our worst ever signing.

Pelupessy's magic He wears a magic hat, But when he gets the ball he thinks, "What do I do with that."

He deserves the chance, hes a grafter and his attitude is spot on.

He doesn't have to be mobile, he just needs to be in the right spot when the ball arrives He's made a career out of doing that Carlos would get our wide players like Wallace and Hunt into terrific areas to whip a cross in, but instead of crossing the ball, we'd work it back to the centre halves, because Carlos thought possession was king Get players to put the ball in the right area, and Rhodes will score plenty in this division

Saved the best till last. "The Arctic Monkeys on pan-pipes"....you know you're old when a tiny (f**ked up) part of your mind wonders what that would be like!!!! Thanks for your "Massive" contribution to our season Snoots. OT would not be the same without the quality content.

Agreed 5p for fox is taking the píss

Sad to see Hooper go, though it’s 100% the right decision. I wish him well. I loved watching him play for us.

I'm not any more offended than I would be if it was for a new British monarch. IMO it's all daft and archaic and mildly distasteful in this day and age. However, I do know Thailand has some of the strictest lèse-majesté rules in the world. You can literally be banged up for not showing the appropriate amount of respect if you're over there. Now, I'm sure that's not the case for wealthy expat football chairmen in the UK, and I'm sure Mr C is wholeheartedly keen to be marking this significant event in the nation's history - I'm not saying for a second that he isn't genuinely delighted and emotionally invested in goings on back home. I'm just saying that culturally the situation is often very different re: foreign leaders and their subjects than it is in the UK, and we should accept that we don't necessarily understand it fully. I don't fully understand what the heck some people see in our own unelected leaders, but I'm certainly not going to tell a royalist publican that he can't celebrate our country's next coronation in the premises he owns, regardless of how little I want to join in. DC hasn't 'made' us do anything, and it's completely disingenuous to suggest he has. He's used a platform he paid for, and continues to pay for at a personal cost of many millions of pounds, to celebrate an event he wants to celebrate. He's merely asked us to allow him to do so without completely wrecking it if we don't personally see the value in it. If we can't agree to either clap along gamely for six minutes *or* just ignore it altogether, I think it's us who'd look pretty childish. I turned up right on kickoff today 'cos I wasn't bothered. If I'd been there in time for the sing-song, though, I wouldn't dream of claiming I was somehow being oppressed or strong-armed into anything. I was just as welcome as anyone else to go for a cuppa and ignore it entirely if I wanted.

However he wheels and deals we really need an injection of pace. Was really impressed with Eze for QPR today.. we need to find someone like him.

Under the last management we were heading to division 1.

Surely we've got a youth team player (Kirby? Grant?) who can do just as good a job of chasing around midfield and passing sideways as Pelupessy does, with more potential to actually improve.

How about some Thai girls who can fire pickled eggs out their lady garden.

The U18s will be parading the PLD 2 trophy at half time they won against Cardiff on Friday. Let’s show our appreciation for the National Champions by giving them the biggest cheer of the afternoon.

Don't you think.

He's up at ours tonight for a Barbie, Bazzas coming too yer know ken ..

Bang average at best. Should not be starting games for us.

Thanks @dunsbyowl I know lots of us have appreciated these memory jogging snippets of nostalgia through the season.